They had their eyes on the prize, but Jon said no for the following reasons.
Pep - We don't have a big enough trophy cabinet
Jurgen - Too positive. It would frighten the youngsters
Cooper - The changing rooms aren't big enough for a 600 man squad
Edwards - Premier League? So what! You're ex-Forest Green. They'll only fool me once
Dyche - I'm not buying 600 tonnes of gravel a week for you to gargle!
Emery - I don't know dick
Arteta - Ardad is bad enough
Ten Hag - Nes Teg is already a pain in the arse. Next!
Roy - Been there, done that
Silva - I only deal in gold
Any more you've heard?