Laugh out loud chants

[sglosbcfc]

Being honest, most football chants are not very amusing, but there have been a few that have made me laugh out loud over the years. The first from our visitors tomorrow, Plymouth Argyle. I am guessing it was 20+ years ago at Ashton Gate and a City player hacked down a Plymouth player, the chorus from the 3000 away fans was 'you dirty Northern b*stards". Causing much amusement in the Dolman Stand.

My personal favourite though was cult hero Steve Jones entering the Ashton Gate pitch with a bizarre orange/brown fake tan, to be met with "OOOOOO OOOOO Jonesy, OO AH  I want to know ow ow, where you got that tan?" Met with just as much laughter from Jonesy as there was from the stadium.

Any other faves?

[Ronnie Sinclair]

One made I laugh on Sunday afternoon - Spurs fans serenading Pep with "you're getting sacked in the morning"

Best one of my City-watching career was "he's fat, he's round, his team are going down, baldy, baldy" circa 1993 when we beat Brentford 4-1 to relegate them and a rather portly Brentford fan was going ballistic in the away end 

[redsquirrel]

that reminds me of LJ with a coat at an evening game,tan sheepskin thing. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey johnson,i wanna knooooooooooooooooooow where you got that coat. cant remember seeing it again

[sglosbcfc]

2 minutes ago, redsquirrel said:

that reminds me of LJ with a coat at an evening game,tan sheepskin thing. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey johnson,i wanna knooooooooooooooooooow where you got that coat. cant remember seeing it again

I remember that, very funny. Mind you that coat was quite a statement.

[steveybadger]

7 minutes ago, sglosbcfc said:

Being honest, most football chants are not very amusing, but there have been a few that have made me laugh out loud over the years. The first from our visitors tomorrow, Plymouth Argyle. I am guessing it was 20+ years ago at Ashton Gate and a City player hacked down a Plymouth player, the chorus from the 3000 away fans was 'you dirty Northern b*stards". Causing much amusement in the Dolman Stand.

My personal favourite though was cult hero Steve Jones entering the Ashton Gate pitch with a bizarre orange/brown fake tan, to be met with "OOOOOO OOOOO Jonesy, OO AH  I want to know ow ow, where you got that tan?" Met with just as much laughter from Jonesy as there was from the stadium.

Any other faves?

Argyle have sung that dirty northern chat at Pompey fans before

[sglosbcfc]

1 minute ago, steveybadger said:

Argyle have sung that dirty northern chat at Pompey fans before

I really hope Carlisle sing to Barrow 'You soft Southern b*stards'

[Ronnie Sinclair]

1 minute ago, sglosbcfc said:

I remember that, very funny. Mind you that coat was quite a statement.

[redsquirrel]

3 minutes ago, sglosbcfc said:

I remember that, very funny. Mind you that coat was quite a statement.

some of his jumpers were a bit ott as well, the group i go with decided it was all stuff his mum made him wear,christmas presents etc

[sglosbcfc]

3 minutes ago, Ronnie Sinclair said:

It actually looks better than I remember it. For a start it appears to fit him in this pic.

[Ronnie Sinclair]

Another one I remember from years ago, 1989 or 1990 it would have been - a night game at home to Crewe, the Crewe goalkeeper that evening was a Dean Greygoose and every time he took a goal kick in front of the Eastend a cry of "shoot, shoot, shoot that goose!" rang out from said stand 

[redsquirrel]

3 minutes ago, sglosbcfc said:

It actually looks better than I remember it. For a start it appears to fit him in this pic.

do you think he might have borrowed it from his wife?

[TV Tom]

"Where's your Mrs, where's your Mrs, where's Stanley Bowles"

"Send Bert Tann to Vietnam, halleluia"

[Andy sprod]

Gordon Owen on his return to Ashton gate having left because he was homesick, was met with a chorus of “does your misses know here does you misses know your here.”

[TV Tom]

He's here, he's there, he lives on Melvin Square, Gordon Parr, Gordan Parr

[richwwtk]

Hate to say it but my two favourites are both Cardiff...

Stood with the City fans on the terrace for the (I think) last time at Ninian Park, the Scott Murray earcupping game.

Around this time a favourite chant with City fans was "You're not very good, you're not very good, you're not very, you're not very, you're not very good...." - the reply from the Cardiff fans was "You're not very safe, you're not very safe......." - certainly made me laugh.

 

 

My brother went to Uni there and watched them sometimes. He told me about this one....

To the tune of "She'll be coming round the mountain...."

"We're the best behaved supporters in the land,

We're the best behaved supporters in the land,

We're the best behaved supporters, best behaved supporters,

Best behaved supporters in the land

WHEN WE WIN

We're a bunch of motherf***ers when we lose,

We're a bunch of motherf***ers when we lose........"

Edited Friday at 21:23 by richwwtk

[archie andrews]

uniteds going on the piss with georgie best up there.....

[Rossi the Robin]

**** off back to (normally another place nearby) **** off back to (as above) **** off back, **** off back, **** off back to (as above) you ***** 

Always made me chuckle

[Northern Red]

I do like the self depreciating ones, eg away at Stockport some years ago when they were bottom of the league, our lot started with the "going down, going down, going down", to which they responded with "so are we, so are we, so are we".

Away at Huddersfield - "Emmerdale, w*nk w*nk w*nk".

[steveybadger]

Liked the Millwall one at the postponed Pompey game the other day; ‘No one lights us, no one lights us…..’

[1960maaan]

10 minutes ago, steveybadger said:

Liked the Millwall one at the postponed Pompey game the other day; ‘No one lights us, no one lights us…..’

Along the same lines , apparently they were singing  " how shit must you be , Southampton have lights" 

[Ring]

My favourite was a Forest Green chant when they were playing Dagenham and Redbridge. Their keeper was called Elliot Justham.

The chant from FGR was “Shit Tesco sandwich, you’re just a shit Tesco sandwich”.

Made I laugh.

[pillred]

1 hour ago, sglosbcfc said:

Being honest, most football chants are not very amusing, but there have been a few that have made me laugh out loud over the years. The first from our visitors tomorrow, Plymouth Argyle. I am guessing it was 20+ years ago at Ashton Gate and a City player hacked down a Plymouth player, the chorus from the 3000 away fans was "You dirty Northern bastards". Causing much amusement in the Dolman Stand.

My personal favourite though was cult hero Steve Jones entering the Ashton Gate pitch with a bizarre orange/brown fake tan, to be met with "OOOOOO OOOOO Jonesy, OO AH  I want to know ow ow, where you got that tan?" Met with just as much laughter from Jonesy as there was from the stadium.

Any other faves?

A bit late with that one, I posted that 2 hours ago in the Plymouth at-home thread.

Edited Friday at 22:19 by pillred

[sglosbcfc]

Yes, I read your comments literally minutes after my post. Weird coincidence. Although I am guessing the fact we are playing Plymouth, made us both think of that song. Great minds eh

[redsquirrel]

53 minutes ago, Ring said:

My favourite was a Forest Green chant when they were playing Dagenham and Redbridge. Their keeper was called Elliot Justham.

The chant from FGR was “Shit Tesco sandwich, you’re just a shit Tesco sandwich”.

Made I laugh.

when i went to fgr with redoxo last season there was a grossly overweight child (gender unknown) giving it large to the fgr home end all through the game,  at one point the whole stand replied with  'its coming  for you, its coming for  yooooooou,, diabetes,its coming for you

[CyderHead92]

One that always made me laugh was " Hes quick he scouse, hes guna rob your house, Gillespie".

[fgrsimon]

At FGR the away fans quite often, when it was popular, sang "You're just a small town in Gloucester" which is perfectly true and never really in question!

Edited Saturday at 04:56 by fgrsimon

[Lanterne Rouge]

9 hours ago, Ronnie Sinclair said:

One made I laugh on Sunday afternoon - Spurs fans serenading Pep with "you're getting sacked in the morning"

Best one of my City-watching career was "he's fat, he's round, his team are going down, baldy, baldy" circa 1993 when we beat Brentford 4-1 to relegate them and a rather portly Brentford fan was going ballistic in the away end 

Northampton fans to Barry Fry after he bought Posh and discovered the stadium wasn`t included in the deal:

He`s fat, he`s round, he thought he owned a ground, Barry Fry`

Also one from many years ago when Brentford beat Fulham to get promoted and relegating them'

`Bees up Fulham down`

[1960maaan]

Can't remember the game, FGR away and one of their players went down injured face in the turf .

The home fans ...

He's eating our grass , He's eating our grass , you Vegan bastard He's eating our grass 

[HappyClapper]

My favourite was home to Sheffield Wednesday some years ago. It was snowing and then an announcement came over the tannoy that the M5 had been closed. Cue “there’s only one bed and breakfast “

[Marina's Rolls Royce]

A popular Suarez one " his teeth are offside, his teeth are offside, Luis Suarez his teeth are offside.

 

[Robbored]

One of the funniest chants I’ve heard at AG was when we played Carlisle on a miserable and wet  Tuesday evening with about a dozen away fans all on their own and the chant when up “you must have come in a taxi, come in a taaaxi”

[1960maaan]

Back in the olden days, when local derbies were a thing , everyone enjoyed ...

10 men went to burn , went to burn down Twerton 

10 men and their petrol can , went to burn down Twerton . 

If you don't know the story , ask a Parent , or Grand Parent .

[luke_bristol]

Fans from Middlesbrough, London, etc singing “Bristol’s a shit hole, I wanna go home”

[Red Billy]

You’ll never win that- Johnstone paints trophy- you’ll never win that. Sang to Man City in our cup game. 

[Natchfever]

12 hours ago, sglosbcfc said:

Being honest, most football chants are not very amusing, but there have been a few that have made me laugh out loud over the years. The first from our visitors tomorrow, Plymouth Argyle. I am guessing it was 20+ years ago at Ashton Gate and a City player hacked down a Plymouth player, the chorus from the 3000 away fans was 'you dirty Northern b*stards". Causing much amusement in the Dolman Stand.

My personal favourite though was cult hero Steve Jones entering the Ashton Gate pitch with a bizarre orange/brown fake tan, to be met with "OOOOOO OOOOO Jonesy, OO AH  I want to know ow ow, where you got that tan?" Met with just as much laughter from Jonesy as there was from the stadium.

Any other faves?

Probably old hat but I remember Swinetown fans singing " I predict a diet" to a tubby steward which made I laugh.

Edited Saturday at 09:13 by Natchfever

[spudski]

11 hours ago, Ring said:

My favourite was a Forest Green chant when they were playing Dagenham and Redbridge. Their keeper was called Elliot Justham.

The chant from FGR was “Shit Tesco sandwich, you’re just a shit Tesco sandwich”.

Made I laugh.

That was a cracker, made me laugh as well.

Weymouth also sang to FGR after a challenge, that they were ' dirty northern bastards '.

To which FGR sang that Weymouth were ' just a bus stop near Bournemouth '. 

[The Gasbuster]

The young Stephen Gillespie who we signed from Colchester IIRC. A Liverpudlian.

He comes off the bench for his debut to be met with :

”He’s red, he’s scouse, he’s gonna rob your house, Gillespie!”

 

[The Gasbuster]

“**** off Swindon Town, you are going down, Flint said No,No,No”

Immense when first sung at Preston, days after ending Swindle’s automatic promotion hopes with THAT 3-0 win.

[Chessels Chick]

Might have game and player wrong but think it was Northampton away and Joe Burnell got hit in a delicate area and whilst getting treatment on pitch the crowd sang "where's your bo****ks gone, where's your bo****ks gone!!"

[Numero Uno]

Us "You're not famous any more".

Forest "You're not famous anyway".

[italian dave]

I had to smile when the Leicester fans sang “Andy King…he’s won more than you” at us last season. 

[grifty]

I always liked the “my garden shed” song about opposition stadiums turning into “my microwave”…”it’s got a door and some buttons”

[1960maaan]

I may have misheard this, or it was a small pocket of fans.

Cardiff to us about ODowda.
He left cause you're shit, He left cause you're shit, Calum ODowda He left cause you're shit.

Reply was 

He left cause he's shit, He left cause he's shit, Calum ODowda He left cause he's shit,

[Davefevs]

1 hour ago, Red Billy said:

You’ll never win that- Johnstone paints trophy- you’ll never win that. Sang to Man City in our cup game. 

Never know, the way Pep is going!

[Offside]

It was ago and I can’t remember which game or who it was, but it made me laugh when City fans directed the “he’s got a pineapple on his head - and he’s s**t” chant at an opposing player because of his hair. 

[Chessels Chick]

3 minutes ago, Offside said:

It was ago and I can’t remember which game or who it was, but it made me laugh when City fans directed the “he’s got a pineapple on his head - and he’s s**t” chant at an opposing player because of his hair. 

Jason Lee playing for Forest - put the ball over the bar from about a yard out!

[Port Said Red]

55 minutes ago, grifty said:

I always liked the “my garden shed” song about opposition stadiums turning into “my microwave”…”it’s got a door and some buttons”

One of the few good things about going away back in the League and lower days. That always brought a smile to my face.

One of my favourite "turn around chants" was the Walsall fans in the 8-2 win in our last match in league one. Having equalised just on HT, they were singing "Champions? You're having a laugh", when we went 6 or 7 -2 up they started singing a sheepish "that's why your Champions". Got a good round of applause as I remember.

[Bristol Rob]

Probably the sort of chant that would see everyone cancelled these days, but I remember when Wendy Toms was running the line and ended up going off injured to which the chant of 'You should have stayed in the kitchen' was sung with gusto by both sets of supporters.

Different times kids.

[Distortia]

14 hours ago, Ronnie Sinclair said:

For anyone who may not recall...

 

Edited Saturday at 11:18 by Distortia

[Out of his pie crust]

22 minutes ago, Offside said:

It was ago and I can’t remember which game or who it was, but it made me laugh when City fans directed the “he’s got a pineapple on his head - and he’s s**t” chant at an opposing player because of his hair. 

Lois Diony?

[22A]

14 hours ago, richwwtk said:

Hate to say it but my two favourites are both Cardiff...

Stood with the City fans on the terrace for the (I think) last time at Ninian Park, the Scott Murray earcupping game.

Around this time a favourite chant with City fans was "You're not very good, you're not very good, you're not very, you're not very, you're not very good...." - the reply from the Cardiff fans was "You're not very safe, you're not very safe......." - certainly made me laugh.

 

"We should have built a wall and not a bridge" sung by us, but not by Cardiff fans.

[City Rocker]

Man City to the tune of Wonderwall:

Maybe we could have had Liam Brady / But after all, we got Alan Ball

I know we did a half-hearted Martin Kuhl version, but theirs was class. 

[glastored]

Not actually a real chant, but I’ve always wanted us to reply to ‘who are yer! Who are yer?,…with ‘is that a rhetorical question? Is that a rhetorical question?!’

[City Rocker]

Sheffield Wednesday fans for Akpo Sodje:

He ain't Efe, he's his brother

[OJ009]

15 hours ago, redsquirrel said:

that reminds me of LJ with a coat at an evening game,tan sheepskin thing. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey johnson,i wanna knooooooooooooooooooow where you got that coat. cant remember seeing it again

I think he auctioned it for charity due to the chant.

[Davefevs]

Gotta be one for Wayne today, “she’s shagging the Rev, she’s shagging the Revvvvv, Coleen Rooney, she’s shagging the Rev.

[The Saturday Boy]

Two footballing brothers, Sam and Efee Sodje. Sung about Sam "he ain't Efee, he's his brother"

[BobBobBobbin]

15 hours ago, Ring said:

My favourite was a Forest Green chant when they were playing Dagenham and Redbridge. Their keeper was called Elliot Justham.

The chant from FGR was “Shit Tesco sandwich, you’re just a shit Tesco sandwich”.

Made I laugh.

The Dean Gerken one was great.

 

"You're just the shit from a Burger, shit from a Burger!"

 

Very good. 

[Talk Of The Town]

Liverpool Fans to Steve Bruce

’ Steve Bruce he’s got a big fat head ‘ 

[MrBibs]

QPR away game after the Man U cup game.

There was a QPR fan with a trumpet and a Mexican hat.

”He’s coming for you, he’s coming for yoouuuu, Donald Trump, he’s coming for you” 

[SuperDziek]

I always liked “you’re sh*t and you stink of fish’ to Grimsby in the 97/98 promotion season after we went 2 up inside 5 minutes!

[22A]

Back  in the day if an opponent committed an obvious foul and Mr Gow was playing; Gerry's gonna get you!

[Big C]

Plymouth fans singing how shit must you be we're drawing away in first minute 

[Midred]

'Oh when the saints go 3 - 0 down', last season.

[Midred]

18 hours ago, Ronnie Sinclair said:

There used to be a video on here with someone conducting the the s28 choir!

[Boston Red]

We signed Steve Brooker from Port Vale.

He got sentenced to jail for 28 days.

They let him out early.

Our next game was away to Port Vale.

They sang "You're supposed to be in jail!!! You're supposed to be in jail."

Then their defender cleared the ball against Brooker, it looped over the keeper, and gave us a 2-0 win in Gary Johnson's promotion season.

[Northern Red]

8 hours ago, luke_bristol said:

Fans from Middlesbrough, London, etc singing “Bristol’s a shit hole, I wanna go home”

Recall us singing that at Oldham, to which their fans, obviously used to it, replied with "we already know, we already know...."

[harvey54]

When the ball hits his head

And ends up in row Z

That's Zamora (to the Dean Martin song)

or

Going on up to the spirit in the sky

That's where I wanna go when I die

When I die and they lay me to rest

I'm going to go on the piss with Georgie Best

[Davefevs]

5 hours ago, Davefevs said:

Gotta be one for Wayne today, “she’s shagging the Rev, she’s shagging the Revvvvv, Coleen Rooney, she’s shagging the Rev.

I was close!

[pj76]

6 hours ago, Davefevs said:

Gotta be one for Wayne today, “she’s shagging the Rev, she’s shagging the Revvvvv, Coleen Rooney, she’s shagging the Rev.

Also today... "Getting sacked in the morning" fairly standard, but then followed up to the same tune... "Getting shagged in the jungle". Had a fun time explaining that to the kids.