BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Brand new tyres have what are called ‘vent pips’ on the surface. These look like little rubber stubs or hair. The vent pips eliminate air bubbles from the tread during manufacturing, so they’re a good thing. But if you buy new tyres and drive hard into a corner, the vent pips can roll over and act like little rubber rollers, reducing grip. You need to realise that new tyres are also coated in ‘mold release’ compound (so they don’t stick to the molds in which they are manufactured). This is why they feel slightly slippery to the touch, brand new. Combine these factors and you can see that it’s a great idea to drive conservatively on brand new tyres for the first 100km or so, while normal abrasion with the road eliminates both factors from the driving equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 13 hours ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Just to let everyone know I will be taking questions on the subject of car washing this Friday. Kind regards, tfj Come on then, hurry up, I'm in suspenders here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 15 hours ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Just to let everyone know I will be taking questions on the subject of car washing this Friday. Kind regards, tfj Ok, I just can't wait any longer: I have some questions on car washing TFJ 1) Hand job or Car Wash ? (Dolly is good with the former) 2) Should I use a sponge or soft cloth ? 3) Is washing up liquid ok ? 4) Should I use a Brillo pad for those "tough" bits ? 5) Chammy down after or dry au natural ? 6) Why does it piss rain as soon as I've finished ? 7) Should I buy a car first ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 2 hours ago, BigTone said: Ok, I just can't wait any longer: I have some questions on car washing TFJ 1) Hand job or Car Wash ? (Dolly is good with the former) 2) Should I use a sponge or soft cloth ? 3) Is washing up liquid ok ? 4) Should I use a Brillo pad for those "tough" bits ? 5) Chammy down after or dry au natural ? 6) Why does it piss rain as soon as I've finished ? 7) Should I buy a car first ? Ahem. I suppose I HAVE to answer these silly questions...... 1) Hand wash, with or without Dolls. 2) Neither we use a wash mitt, and microfibre drying cloth. 3) It is not OK. 4) No. 5) See 2). Chammy = last century 6) Irrelevant - you car is clean and protected. 7) You can wash any car with permission from the owner. Piss off. Seriously, folks, we use the 'two bucket method', or tfj's variation on this: the 'three bucket method'. Ingredients Large buckets: 3 Grit guards: 3 Microfibre wash mitt's: 3 or 2 and 1 sponge Wheel cleaning brush: 1 Hose with suitable head attachment Good quality car shampoo Microfibre drying towel: 1. Mankini / suitable attire. Method (three-bucket) Place the grit-guards in the bottom of the clean buckets - put a small amount of the car shampoo in two of the buckets, and fill with luke warm water. Fill the third bucket with fresh water. Put your microfibre wash mitt's in the bucket containing water only. Rinse the car thoroughly with the hose. removing as much dirt and loose material as you can: pay special attention to dirty area, such as wheels, tyres, wheel arches, sills, and the back of the car. Using the first shampoo bucket, we start with the sponge, or the dirtiest microfibre wash mitt, and the wheel cleaning brush, and ............... OMG ................. we clean the wheels FIRST. You heard correct: wheels first. This is why we use a three bucket method, using one bucket exclusively for the wheels, AND NOTHING ELSE. We also use separate sponge and brush, for the wheels only. Get rid of the worst of the dust and brake dust with the sponge, rinsing often. Next remove the more stubborn dirt with wheel brush, making shore you get into the angles of those alloys. Lastly give the wheel arches a scrub with the brush. Rinse well with your hose. Once you have done all wheels, get rid of the dirty bucket and water, and set the sponge and brush aside. Next we start on the bodywork using the second shampoo bucket and the bucket containing clean rinsing water. You should have two clean wash mitts. Wring them out and place them in the shampoo mixture. Take your best mitt, and start cleaning the car STARTING AT THE HIGHEST POINT. Wash a small section, before rinsing the mitt in the clean water, before dipping into the shampoo, and washing another small section. Repeat until you are about 1/2 way down the doors. I.e. roof, then windows, then bonnet / boot lid, then top of doors. At this point you are coming to the grubbier part of the car. Now switch to the second best mitt and clean the bottom 1/2 of the car, doing small sections each time before rinsing and applying more shampoo. Finish with a very good rinse from the hose and then drying. We dry with a microfibre towel. These are great at drying large areas almost on one go. Wring out when the cloth gets water logged and swiftly dry the whole car. If you have time, apply a coat of high quality wax (not polish), and buff clean with another microfibre cloth. We will cover waxing in a separate item, so don't worry about this too much now. The car should look amazing. But we have not finished, as I need to explain the three bucket method ........... Look at the water in the wheel bucket: almost black with dirt / dust. This is why we clean the wheels first and using a separate bucket. If you don't do the wheels first, this dirt can contaminate the water we clean the bodywork with: 'bad'. Now check out the water in the rinsing bucket - also filthy. This means we have REMOVED the dirt from the bodywork, and NOT recycled it into the clean shampoo water. Lastly, check out the shampoo bucket and the water should be still virtually clean, and similar to when we started. Job done. Make sure you rinse out all three buckets, rinse out the wash mitts, and soak them to get them clean, then allow to dry naturally. If they are really dirty, put all the microfibre through a wash cycle in the machine. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 5 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Ahem. I suppose I HAVE to answer these silly questions...... 1) Hand wash, with or without Dolls. 2) Neither we use a wash mitt, and microfibre drying cloth. 3) It is not OK. 4) No. 5) See 2). Chammy = last century 6) Irrelevant - you car is clean and protected. 7) You can wash any car with permission from the owner. Piss off. Seriously, folks, we use the 'two bucket method', or tfj's variation on this: the 'three bucket method'. Ingredients Large buckets: 3 Grit guards: 3 Microfibre wash mitt's: 3 or 2 and 1 sponge Wheel cleaning brush: 1 Hose with suitable head attachment Good quality car shampoo Microfibre drying towel: 1. Mankini / suitable attire. Method (three-bucket) Place the grit-guards in the bottom of the clean buckets - put a small amount of the car shampoo in two of the buckets, and fill with luke warm water. Fill the third bucket with fresh water. Put your microfibre wash mitt's in the bucket containing water only. Rinse the car thoroughly with the hose. removing as much dirt and loose material as you can: pay special attention to dirty area, such as wheels, tyres, wheel arches, sills, and the back of the car. Using the first shampoo bucket, we start with the sponge, or the dirtiest microfibre wash mitt, and the wheel cleaning brush, and ............... OMG ................. we clean the wheels FIRST. You heard correct: wheels first. This is why we use a three bucket method, using one bucket exclusively for the wheels, AND NOTHING ELSE. We also use separate sponge and brush, for the wheels only. Get rid of the worst of the dust and brake dust with the sponge, rinsing often. Next remove the more stubborn dirt with wheel brush, making shore you get into the angles of those alloys. Lastly give the wheel arches a scrub with the brush. Rinse well with your hose. Once you have done all wheels, get rid of the dirty bucket and water, and set the sponge and brush aside. Next we start on the bodywork using the second shampoo bucket and the bucket containing clean rinsing water. You should have two clean wash mitts. Wring them out and place them in the shampoo mixture. Take your best mitt, and start cleaning the car STARTING AT THE HIGHEST POINT. Wash a small section, before rinsing the mitt in the clean water, before dipping into the shampoo, and washing another small section. Repeat until you are about 1/2 way down the doors. I.e. roof, then windows, then bonnet / boot lid, then top of doors. At this point you are coming to the grubbier part of the car. Now switch to the second best mitt and clean the bottom 1/2 of the car, doing small sections each time before rinsing and applying more shampoo. Finish with a very good rinse from the hose and then drying. We dry with a microfibre towel. These are great at drying large areas almost on one go. Wring out when the cloth gets water logged and swiftly dry the whole car. If you have time, apply a coat of high quality wax (not polish), and buff clean with another microfibre cloth. We will cover waxing in a separate item, so don't worry about this too much now. The car should look amazing. Wash mitts sound a bit camp to me, however I shall heed your advice and buy one for Julian my Chauffeur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 6 minutes ago, BigTone said: Wash mitts sound a bit camp to me, however I shall heed your advice and buy one for Julian my Chauffeur. Buy a pack of three. I recommend Kent microfibre wash mitts / 3-in-1 noodle. If you can get a multi colour pack: green for best (top of car), yellow for bottom of car, and orange / red for the wheels. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 10 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Ahem. I suppose I HAVE to answer these silly questions...... 1) Hand wash, with or without Dolls. 2) Neither we use a wash mitt, and microfibre drying cloth. 3) It is not OK. 4) No. 5) See 2). Chammy = last century 6) Irrelevant - you car is clean and protected. 7) You can wash any car with permission from the owner. Piss off. Seriously, folks, we use the 'two bucket method', or tfj's variation on this: the 'three bucket method'. Ingredients Large buckets: 3 Grit guards: 3 Microfibre wash mitt's: 3 or 2 and 1 sponge Wheel cleaning brush: 1 Hose with suitable head attachment Good quality car shampoo Microfibre drying towel: 1. Mankini / suitable attire. Method (three-bucket) Place the grit-guards in the bottom of the clean buckets - put a small amount of the car shampoo in two of the buckets, and fill with luke warm water. Fill the third bucket with fresh water. Put your microfibre wash mitt's in the bucket containing water only. Rinse the car thoroughly with the hose. removing as much dirt and loose material as you can: pay special attention to dirty area, such as wheels, tyres, wheel arches, sills, and the back of the car. Using the first shampoo bucket, we start with the sponge, or the dirtiest microfibre wash mitt, and the wheel cleaning brush, and ............... OMG ................. we clean the wheels FIRST. You heard correct: wheels first. This is why we use a three bucket method, using one bucket exclusively for the wheels, AND NOTHING ELSE. We also use separate sponge and brush, for the wheels only. Get rid of the worst of the dust and brake dust with the sponge, rinsing often. Next remove the more stubborn dirt with wheel brush, making shore you get into the angles of those alloys. Lastly give the wheel arches a scrub with the brush. Rinse well with your hose. Once you have done all wheels, get rid of the dirty bucket and water, and set the sponge and brush aside. Next we start on the bodywork using the second shampoo bucket and the bucket containing clean rinsing water. You should have two clean wash mitts. Wring them out and place them in the shampoo mixture. Take your best mitt, and start cleaning the car STARTING AT THE HIGHEST POINT. Wash a small section, before rinsing the mitt in the clean water, before dipping into the shampoo, and washing another small section. Repeat until you are about 1/2 way down the doors. I.e. roof, then windows, then bonnet / boot lid, then top of doors. At this point you are coming to the grubbier part of the car. Now switch to the second best mitt and clean the bottom 1/2 of the car, doing small sections each time before rinsing and applying more shampoo. Finish with a very good rinse from the hose and then drying. We dry with a microfibre towel. These are great at drying large areas almost on one go. Wring out when the cloth gets water logged and swiftly dry the whole car. If you have time, apply a coat of high quality wax (not polish), and buff clean with another microfibre cloth. We will cover waxing in a separate item, so don't worry about this too much now. The car should look amazing. Excuse me but I feel I must take you to task on your response to item 6 which you class irrelevant. As we all know as soon as we wash our motors it is a nailed on cert that it will piss rain over our hard work. This rain contains many foreign bodies such as the pooticles that emanate from Ryanair & Easyjet toilets spewing their collective goodies into the atmosphere. After said rain the car looks crap again (no pun intended) so how do we counter this ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 9 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Buy a pack of three. I recommend Kent microfibre wash mitts / 3-in-1 noodle. If you can get a multi colour pack: green for best (top of car), yellow for bottom of car, and orange / red for the wheels. tfj He only likes pink or San Franciscan Aqua. He says its essential for a quality rub. Mind you he does agree with you regarding a hose with a suitable head attachment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 49 minutes ago, BigTone said: Excuse me but I feel I must take you to task on your response to item 6 which you class irrelevant. As we all know as soon as we wash our motors it is a nailed on cert that it will piss rain over our hard work. This rain contains many foreign bodies such as the pooticles that emanate from Ryanair & Easyjet toilets spewing their collective goodies into the atmosphere. After said rain the car looks crap again (no pun intended) so how do we counter this ? So, correct me if I misunderstand you, but you seem to be suggesting because it rains there is little point in washing you car? There are two main reasons to wash your car: 1) to clean it and make it look good, 2) to protect it. If you don't protect it, then it gets dirtier quicker, and will be harder to clean at a later date. If you were to wax it a few times per year, it would stay even cleaner - and - perversely, need cleaning less often. Or look at it this way: what you are saying is a bit like "I will always need to shit, so why bother wiping my arse??" Yes?? Jes'. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 P.S. I currently use Autoglym car shampoo. This adds a layer of wax as you wash, hence protecting the paintwork. This is not as good as waxing, but no-one waxes their car each time they wash. I'll cover waxing later on, possibly after we lose to Huddersfield tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: So, correct me if I misunderstand you, but you seem to be suggesting because it rains there is little point in washing you car? There are two main reasons to wash your car: 1) to clean it and make it look good, 2) to protect it. If you don't protect it, then it gets dirtier quicker, and will be harder to clean at a later date. If you were to wax it a few times per year, it would stay even cleaner - and - perversely, need cleaning less often. Or look at it this way: what you are saying is a bit like "I will always need to shit, so why bother wiping my arse??" Yes?? Jes'. tfj You really should read what I said which was why does it piss down "after" the car is washed. I get Dolly to wax it all the time but what has this to do with the car ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: P.S. I currently use Autoglym car shampoo. This adds a layer of wax as you wash, hence protecting the paintwork. This is not as good as waxing, but no-one waxes their car each time they wash. I'll cover waxing later on, possibly after we lose to Huddersfield tonight. Can I ask what kind of Motability Scooter do you drive ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 1 minute ago, BigTone said: You really should read what I said which was why does it piss down "after" the car is washed. I get Dolly to wax it all the time but what has this to do with the car ? At some stage, it is bound to rain 'after' you have washed your car - unless you live in Death Valley. Why rage against the weather god's? Rain is a good thing, in the context of life on earth. I think you need to focus on waxing - less reason to worry about precipitation then. You'll have to wait for my waxing master-class. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 1 minute ago, Taxi for Johnson said: At some stage, it is bound to rain 'after' you have washed your car - unless you live in Death Valley. Why rage against the weather god's? Rain is a good thing, in the context of life on earth. I think you need to focus on waxing - less reason to worry about precipitation then. You'll have to wait for my waxing master-class. tfj I wait with baited breath for you to wax lyrical Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, BigTone said: Can I ask what kind of Motability Scooter do you drive ? If I indeed have a motability scooter, you have been taking the piss out of a disabled person for the last few years. What a big man that makes you ............... One-two-three .................. "MODERATORS!!!!!!!!!!" tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Phantom? "Get him" tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: If I indeed have a motability scooter, you have been taking the piss out of a disabled person for the last few years. What a big man that makes you ............... One-two-three .................. "MODERATORS!!!!!!!!!!" tfj Oh dear, person, glasshouse, live, stones, throw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Phantom? "Get him" tfj Love you Phants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, BigTone said: Love you Phants It might work on Dolls, but it won't cut the mustard with a mean s-o-b like Mr Phantom. "Phantom fetch, Phantom kill". tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: It might work on Dolls, but it won't cut the mustard with a mean s-o-b like Mr Phantom. "Phantom fetch, Phantom kill". tfj My shout Phants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 I can't believe it: we can see Phantom is watching and he is doing nothing. Meanwhile another excellent thread is getting destroyed ............. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Car shampoo: Autoglym bodywork conditioning shampoo. Buy a big bottle it's much cheaper. Wash mitt: Kent microfibre noodle. Buy at least two. Drying towel: Kent extra large microfibre towel. Buy a couple. Car wax: Armor All Shield (quick and easy), or try Soft 99 Fusso Coat. Tyre shine: Autoglym or try Carplan Tyreslik. Hose: hoselock anti-kink. Water: wessex water. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taz Posted March 17, 2017 Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 Question. Will my car shrink in the wash if the water in my bucket is too hot? Wife does it all the time with the washing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Taz said: Question. Will my car shrink in the wash if the water in my bucket is too hot? Wife does it all the time with the washing... The washing water should be luke warm. The rinsing water can be cold. Caution Try not to wash your car in direct sunlight, as the water will evaporate leaving 'water marks'. A dull day is better. DO NOT use a pressure washer - it just is not necessary, and badly adjusted, can damage paintwork and tyres. If you drop any of the cleaning materials on the ground, DO NOT continue to use them until they have been soaked and washed, or you could recycle grit onto the paintwork. Do use grit-guards in buckets as the dirt / grit will accumulate in the bottom of the bucket. Grit guards keep your wash mitts and sponges away from the dirt. Do remove bird shit before it hardens, as it is acidic. If it is hard, soften it with wet tissue before removing with a soft damp cloth. Don't use brillo pads as suggested by that berk BigTone. Don't use washing up liquid. If you have an older car, or one kept outside all the time, you will find pollutants will get embedded into the paintwork. Once you have cleaned and dried your car, run a dry hand over the bonnet. Does it feel slightly rough? If so, you might keep to 'clay-bar' your paintwork. This involves running a lubricated clay bar over the paintwork to remove the embedded dirt. Following this the paint should be protected with a good quality wax. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 Anyone who washed and waxed yesterday would be looking at their gleaming car today, in amazement at those water drops beading on the bonnet. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 48 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Anyone who washed and waxed yesterday would be looking at their gleaming car today, in amazement at those water drops beading on the bonnet. tfj Its dry here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted March 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 59 minutes ago, BigTone said: Its dry here Extremely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bat Fastard Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 You people all seem to lead very complicated lives with your various modes of transport. I never buy tyres because I change the car before they wear out. I have never washed a car - they do that at the dealers when it is serviced and every so often I take it to a bunch of East Europeans who clean cars as a sideline to fiddling their benefits. Simples! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 12 minutes ago, Bat Fastard said: You people all seem to lead very complicated lives with your various modes of transport. I never buy tyres because I change the car before they wear out. I have never washed a car - they do that at the dealers when it is serviced and every so often I take it to a bunch of East Europeans who clean cars as a sideline to fiddling their benefits. Simples! I don't want to drive all the way to Latvia to get my car washed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bat Fastard Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 1 minute ago, BigTone said: I don't want to drive all the way to Latvia to get my car washed You are a bloody racist snob then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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