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Leaked: Rovers’ latest transfer targets..

Tam? It's Tim. You won't believe this, but Bristol want me on loan! Oh, brother! This is brilliant for you, great fans, great stadium, brilliant inventive training, first class travel and accommodation, ambitious; you can even crash your team mates car! Epic news. Delighted for you mate. Err, not so sure about that. The first thing I need to do apparently is to go to the doctors and get a jab in case I fall in some fox shit. Did you have to do that? Hang on, are you signing for the Fewers? YOU AIN'T MY BRUVVA. *EastEnders drums*

Today seemed to be going well for the Sags , sensible signing and all that.......... Then.....???????????

Cheltenham Twitter feed called him Tim Nichols, that's broke the internet for me today....?

And they’ve even upset people in Liberia

But, but, but.. We're hated by all fans across the globe?!?!

New signing on the roof at the Mem. Nobody told him it was made of canvas and now he's fallen 60 feet and broken both legs.

Si that’s hiw he git the mive-they were after simebidy else.They’ll be gutted when they realise they’ve signed the useless Gas dinkey that is Tom Nichils then...

Timmy Abraham? Who next? Alan Webster? Nobby Reid? John Bryan? Alan Flint? Marvin Pack? Desperadoes !

Was it just me that struggled with that

Timpot

Always nice to have an excuse to dig out this absolute beauty once in a while.

I've heard there is an eighth signing on the horizon - whilst we are signing Filip Benković on loan from Leicester, they are signing Filip Filoppe on a non-contract basis.

Compulsive liars..............must come from the top !

Surprised they didn't report it as a 20million fee ?

Hat trick on debut.

Decided to bight the bullet and buy tickets, enjoyed the last fight in LA so much. Wasn’t cheap at all but still can’t wait, flying from Australia. Common Fury

You've got the wrong Nikki Wells there mate... more Babestation

I can’t wait to hear if they opt for “ohh Timmy Timmy, Timmy Timmy Timmy Timmy Abraham...”!

If he's as good as his brother then he wouldn't be signing for Bristol Rovers.

Nice striker. Whatever. Looks a bit like mine. Who is yours? Tammy Abraham. Expensive. Yours? Timmy Abraham

"On the plus side, I've got all the Wotsits I can e...OH GOD, THEY'RE ALL SOGGY!!!!"

They're also lining up Barry Kane, Jason Mount and Jasper Schmeichel before the deadline.

Dwayne Rooney signing next apparently.

He doesn’t look best pleased about it either. ”Tammy bruv, what’s it like in Bristol?” ”Great Tim, good stadium, 20k plus a week, great training facilities and fans without six fingers on each hand” ”No tents? I hate tents” ”No tents bro” ”Awesome” Two hours later... ”Ah....****....”

Latest in...gas new 'director of football.. Nice curtains - must be at the London office..

I assure you lenders only secure against bricks, mortar and land. One may not borrow against canvas, guy ropes and plastic extruded furnishings...

Very decent? If he’s as good as his brother, he will be (by orders of magnitude) the best player they have EVER had. Very decent! Can imagine that guy saying “well, I was hoping for Messi, but this kid might be decent”.

Tammy says "That's great bruv, I am sure the club will put you up in one of those nice flats". Timmy "No mate, I am living above Irene's cafe, the bathroom I share with four others is down the hall"

And David Peckham.

Poor Timmy.

It was warnocks dealings with the very dodgy agent willie mackay that led to all this possibly. Why were WM’s two kids signed by us, but never played or hardly seen? I actually wish like many fans I know wish we had paid the initial 5 million, but it’s all in the hands of the lawyers and the club were apparently told not too. I’d be amazed if any club went against legal advice. Also, Nantes have refused to even talk to ccfc since the tragedy. They have a very dodgy chairman who all their fans hate. I’m amazed they haven’t enquired into why Sala was put in that dodgy flight with an un qualified pilot, but they haven’t, they just want the cash. If it weren't for us taking this course of legal action against them then those individuals whether agents or representatives of Nantes FC who contributed to this tragedy would go unchallenged. No-one else seems bothered to uncover the facts.. I’m glad we are searching for the answers to finding those responsible for the poor guys death.

Just watched spurs beat rovers 9.0 on classic MOD priceless

Kevin Sweet I sort of like u in a laughing at u way.Keep up the good tweets ftg

Changed his name to Kevin Sour.

On the day Jon Lansdown breaks earth on our new training ground at Failand it can't be long until Wally does the same at St Phillips.......eh Saggys.

With the greatest of respect, as much as I love a good Cardiff bashing, the entire affair is clearly considerably more complex than that.