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  1. 1. Let the centre halves know you are there, early doors 2. Knock it in the channels 3. Get across the near post 4. Stand it up at the back stick and don't die wondering 5. Keep on letting the centre halves know you are there 6. All of the above, but if it can be enacted by someone who knows where the goal is, happy days
  2. You'r ongoing daily apostrophe catastrophe i's doing my blinkin' head in, sir. Can you' not sort it? '
  3. Because we've got serious bloody injury problems! Because the spine - and the quality - of the team is crocked. For months. Because you need a good splodge of good fortune to be promoted - and having half your nailed on starters out for months leaves you lacking in the good fortune stakes. Because we look short of goals now. Just because ok?
  4. This is laughable - have you seen Sammie's teeth? Not in the same league, mate
  5. That's why we went all out to get the kid Eddie - to have a bit of "spectacular" where you want it: up top, popping the ball in the net. Without him, and with Afobe, we were not spectacular, merely jolly good. Remains to be seen what we will be without Eddie and Afobe.
  6. Not as good as Beauden Barrett, Col. Like to see Lansdown pull his finger out and splash the cash on the boy Barrett in January.
  7. Did he know his bruv was there today, singing it too?
  8. There's "much crying" here, but it's all about our injured starters (Kalas, Dasilva, Nagy, Afobe, Smith and, er, Capn Wright) and nothing to do with your tame swans....
  9. Because the spine of the team is crocked, mate.
  10. Saturday's ref lives life with insults, mate. Drinks lots of beer and waits for half-time ree-sults. La la la la la la la la.....
  11. To also be fair: 735 Janners at Port Vale. In L2. Bristol to Lincoln: 183 miles; 3 hours 4 mins. Plymouth to the Potteries: 240 miles; 3 hours 54 mins.
  12. Hope this pushes him - them both - forward. Onwards and upwards (and backwards and sideways)
  13. He's a parent, to three children, and his eldest is 9. Nine! Compared to most footballers, he's practically an adult/grown up.
  14. Surely we're bigger than them ... er, silly me! What am I thinking? Surely we're bigger than that?
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