eastonboy

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, while conscious, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes filling with tears."You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times: When i got fired, you comforted me. When my business failed, you supported us both. When I got shot, you nursed me back to health. When we lost the house, you endured living in a shabby rented flat.Now my health has started failing and you are still right by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, why don't you just **** off."

We're so skint that I had to get my wife to sell one of her kidneys to help pay for Christmas.

If things get any worse, I might have to cancel Sky Sports.

I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today.

Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps.