Merrick's Marvels

On a day when there are too numerous targets to have a pop at, starting with the Manager and every one of his coaching staff, it's good to see someone has their priorities right. Yes indeed, today was all about the pies, not the eternal mystery that is Harry Cornick, our complete lack of a pattern of play, our piss poor fullbacks who we rely on so much, etc etc etc So here's a positive! At half-time, they briefly played some "lounge muzak", not only that but played it at an appropriate volume - so that for a blissful 10 minutes I could actually hold a conversation with the person sat right next to me, ie about 12 inches away, without having to shout myself hoarse. Thank the lord for small mercies.

Today just highlighted what a brilliant player Scott is. Well, for us at any rate. Whether he joins Bournemouth, Wolves or whoever, he's unlikely to stand out quite so much - which only tells you how far we have to improve and how ordinary we currently are.

Why? Because our pre-season was a piece of piss, a stroll against opponents too inferior. Would be my guess. I'm not looking for us to play Ajax again, cos we won't see the ball. Again. But teams somewhere in between them and FGR and Cheltenham is what we need - something to give us a proper work out. As I say, would be my guess.

Very. Pring blowing out his sphincter after 10 minutes!

This is where stats are bollox though because if there's one player who needs a boot up the arse after that (not the only one) it's Conway.

Positives - a composed but aggressive Vyner. Aggressive! More please. Negatives - the rest of it, including the coaching staff who reckon we're fit and the staff who've spent pre-season not bothering to work on patterns of play, of which there was precious evidence compared to Preston who were infinitely superior in virtually all facets of play. God help us if the absence of 1 midfield player has reduced us to this level of mediocrity. Only another 45 games to go!

Yes clear handball. As in the ball hit his hand - I'm assuming the ref decided his hand wasn't in an unnatural position so there was no infringement. I would argue they gained an unfair advantage from it but that doesn’t have anything to do with it, it seems. Like others, I've really no idea what the rule is anymore - I mean, their Left back kept taking foul throws, with one heel way off the ground like a schoolboy but do you think the ref or sh!t lino noticed? So they don't know the rules either! Or are just sh!te, maybe. Probably. Anyways, a point was the least Preston deserved as we were abysmal after scoring, so I think we should be grateful we got something from the game and move on to next week. But if there isn't a quantum improvement in the meantime, I predict a hammering at The Den or whatever their godforsaken bearpit is called these days.

No. Unbearable lightness has been sat on the shelf for 30 years - unfinished! ?

Yes, my experience has always been that - once you get through! - the service is always first rate.

Yes. Do you think he wants to be playing in the Champ? Is he worth paying what Saints want for him? Yes.

Perhaps he's retired and just not told anyone. Would be a very Kalas thing to do. The unbearable lightness of being a modern day footballer. What would Milan Kundera (RIP) make of that, I wonder.

Not for long.

Hopefully Adieu not Au Revoir. Bakinson 2.0. Not what we require at Champ level.

Old school!

"I hope Marvin genuinely reflects on why he lost, on his behaviour, and improves it as fundamentally we NEED more Black representation in parliament. Perhaps by asking why his reaction to failure is always about blaming others and not actually himself and how he could do better next time." Who does that remind us of? "his extreme touchiness, thin skin and refusal to brook any criticism or political disagreement without resorting to gratuitous passive aggressive abuse or going into victim mode" And again! "I think you also need to look at the people who ‘run’ him….he doesn’t make his own decisions, Kevin Slocombe does…. Slocombe is the wannabe Alistair Campbell who has made some ridiculous calls in their time in power in an attempt to ride on the coat tails of Marvin believing image is more important than substance" That's Slocombe, a sorry gAsshole.

The Blue Flame.

Yes, I thought this the other day - God forbid we produce any more quality players, as there are some who couldn't cope on here. Oh for the days when we had sh!te players no-one wanted - life was so much better!

What do you mean by "up front"? The money we get right now? Or the money we get now and also the guaranteed sum we get next summer or a number of summers after that? I'm going to guess at somewhere around 15M right now plus a further 5M spread over a number of summers to come. The remaining 5M to be made up of potential add-ons - so specific sums that could be paid on completion of a certain number of PL games, on winning international caps etc etc I don't doubt both Wolves and Bournemouth can find 25M for the player. The negotiations have always been about how the payments of that fee are structured. For our own FFP purposes, we have a plan of how much we want 1) right now, 2) over the next summer or two, and 3) by way of potential add-ons. And Wolves don't have the wriggle room to 1) pay as much as we want right now, and 2) want to pay the future guaranteed sums over a longer period than we want. For arguments sake, they can probably lay their hands on, say, 10M now and another 10M paid in small amounts over several years. Our FFP plan going forward is based on receiving a bigger sum right now and the remaining guaranteed amounts (excluding the add-ons) over a shorter time period. It seems Bournemouth have now dragged themselves into a position where they can meet our payment plan.

Moyes knows he can't have another poor season in the League so it seems like he wants a particular type of signing to replace Rice - 1) experienced, 2) British, or at least with PL experience. I can understand why he doesn't want to risk his job by signing - 1) flaky foreigners who've never played in England, 2) teenagers who've never played in the PL. But his position has been weakened by all the money he and Biff wasted last summer and also the appointment of a Technical Director with completely different ideas about recruitment. When you also factor in the owner's ego, who insists he handles transfer negotiations - imagine Steve Lansdown doing that! - you have a recipe for disaster. I wish Moyesie and Biff all the best but West Ham's transfer business has been a shambles so far. Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind.

It doesn't need saying, again, but I will. These people are morons.

Looks good. Coventry away 1977, by the looks of it. What time are you selling from?

Well done to all involved.

Yeah, thank gawd Dick de Alien (emphasis on Dick) hasn't said he's re-signing!

Wasted on that p rick, mate. Better to just put on ignore as got nothing to say. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Pitiful.

Who says?