phantom

And now it's announced Gayle won't be playing Saturday against Glamorgan due to exertions over the past 12 months!!! Of course nothing to do with the fact he has been on the piss for the past week and spent the past 24 hours out with KP Strange how he is fit for tomorrow night but not for Saturday

Whose Lance?

Blimey you guys even make Somerset look half decent !

Gutted for him as always a top bloke off of the pitch. Like said above, it was a freak accident - remember when it happened it seemed pretty inocuous. Like when Mark Boucher was caught with the bail, seemed nothing in it at the time, but sadly cost the careers of two great players! Anyway on to tonight, anyone going? Will be with the noisy bunch in our usual space in front of the electric scoreboard

Sadly missed today as in IOW, but can't wait to get down Taunton Friday

Need to win, after tonight PNE will have 2 GIH on us - that could give them a real sniff if we don't win tonight Pull further away and pyschologically it will be massive on the others

Would expect it to make the supporters more tense and in turn would affect how they support their side during the game. This in turns will rub off onto the players

It's Hell to be Old OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. She even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.' The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?' The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

A man goes into an upmarket restaurant consults the menu and orders Aylesbury Duck. The chef had run out of these so sends out an ordinary duck instead. The customer picks the duck up, looks at its backside and says to the waiter, "This is not an Aylesbury Duck. Take it back!" The chef rearranges it on the plate pours on some more gravy and sends the plate back. The customer picks the duck up, looks at its backside and says to the waiter, "This is not an Aylesbury Duck. Take it back!" This happens several times. The chef finally concedes defeat, goes to the Cash and Carry, buys an Aylesbury Duck and sends it out to the aforementioned customer who once again looks at the ducks backside. When he has finished his meal he says to the waiter, "It took time to get there, but in the end it was an excellent dinner. Ask the chef to come out. I would like to congratulate him." The customer says to the chef, " You had one or two false starts but when you eventually got there it was an excellent meal. Most enjoyable. By the way, where do you come from?" The chef dropped his trousers, bent over and said, "You tell me!"

TWO OLD MEN FEEL THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER. HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!

These people need "stupid" signs! Number One Idiot: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot: Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag". While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Wise guy ... But you still get a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Five Idiot: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21". The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six: A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!". When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven: Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Eight: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local Township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore".

For those who didn't get tickets a serious question should be asked why there are so many unused seats in the away section today

Flint was outstanding for the third league game in a row and is stepping up to the mark already this season. I thought we edged the first half last night but seemed to be short of ideas in the second half. Orient are no mugs and maybe a point against a side of their quality should not be deemed a bad thing? Seemed a few tired legs on the pitch, and was surprised how late we made the changes, but in all honesty Orient never really looked liked scoring last night, so maybe it was the safer option to not make any changes too early. All in all we have to be happy with 7 points from 3 games, keep that up all season and we will be up next season, added bonus of a clean sheet which is something to build on - now onto Rochdale for another 3 points

Guess you've been reading the papers today !

To me this has gained more profile in the past few years - maybe Leytonstone may not be so accomodating today?

+8 +8

Nobody has mentioned Pizza Express !

Perhaps we will find out the truth now..... If there are libelous comments in this thread am sure going on the previous track record you talk about Mr D will soon be in touch? But if he doesn't ?????

Unless someone lights a match ! Look what happened last time someone tried that !

Blimey I had forgotten about that fiasco!

What are you on about ?

Don't forget that this period is BEFORE they are released in the public domain

I would disagree with this, you are assuming that everyone has access to FB / Twitter or any part of the web, and also live locally enough to hear the radio or read the paper - the club told us earlier this season that they were checking everyone's contact details - now is the time to use it. I work with a Polish Dr, who just took delight in telling me his son was flying over next Friday and would be seeing his first City game - you can imagine what he reaction was to the news (though will need a tranlator for some of the reply). The craziest thing was he phoned up YESTERDAY for the tickets, surely someone could have warned the ticket staff that there was a possibility of the game moving ??