The Dolman Pragmatist

Too Drunk To **** ... The Dead Kennedys

Hungry Freaks, Daddy ... The Mothers Of Invention

Psycho Killer ... Talking Heads

Moves Like Jagger ... Maroon 5

Rep Yo City ... The Brothers Footman [ok, I had to look that one up, but frankly I couldn’t believe my luck...]

Tales of Brave Ulysses ... Cream

Friday I’m In Love ... The Cure

Doctor Doctor ... The Thompson Twins

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ... Crash Test Dummies

The Lion Sleeps Tonight ... The Tokens

Mother & Child Reunion ... Paul Simon

Keep Your Mouth Shut ... Tricky and Bjork

I Want To Teach The World To Sing ... The New Seekers

Rude Boy ... Rihanna

Carry That Weight ... The Beatles

What’s happening to Semenyo happens to lots of young players. Take Ivan Toney, huge promise but for his first six seasons he scored about 35 goals in total. In the last three seasons he’s scored over seventy, playing in sides that understand him and with the benefit of growing experience. Put Semenyo in the right set up and I think he’s quite capable of scoring 20 goals next season. I wouldn’t consider selling him for a moment, but if he did go I would be very disappointed if he went for anything less than £10m. But what I’d really like to see is us build a team around him, because I believe he’s going to surprise a lot of you.

A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall ... Bob Dylan

Church of the Poison Mind ... Culture Club

Mouldy Old Dough ... Lieutenant Pigeon

Mandrake Root ... Deep Purple For a similar reason!

Romeo & Juliet ... Dire Straits

Granny Takes A Trip ... The Purple Gang

I Go To Sleep ... The Pretenders

Crocodile Rock ... Elton John

2,000 Light Years From Home ... The Rolling Stones