Big Tone ( Step Aside ) Well Just For This One

[double-trouble]

Young blonde Portsmouth girl was down on her luck and decided the time was right to end her life .

Having thought hard about where the deed was to happen she picked Gunwharf Quay down by the murky waters of the naval dockyard .

As she stood on the edge pondering her end , a young sailor strolling along noticed her and ran quickly over .

'Hey Babes , don't do it '

As she turned to his voice , he grabbed her and gave her a big hug as she sobbed uncontrollably .

He walked her away from the edge and said ' Look nothing can be that bad that you have to do that '.

' Look I'm sailing to Australia tomorrow , why don't you stow away on the boat and start a new life over there . I'll put you in a lifeboat on the deck , bring you food and water every day and generally look after you , if you look after me , you know what I mean wink , wink . All you will need to do is keep very quiet '.

The girl thought about the proposition and having nothing else in her life to look forward to agreed .

That night the sailor sneaked her on board and hid her within lifeboat number one .

For the next three weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night with food and water where upon after she had finished her meal they got down to business , often till the crack of dawn .

During the fourth week , the captain was performing his monthly routine inspection of all parts of the ship , that included the lifeboats .

He pealed back the protective cover of lifeboat one and saw the girl whereupon he demanded a explanation of her being there .

The girl had to come clean and told the captain that she was to start a new life in Oz. .

She said ' That one of the kind sailors was helping her out . He set me up here and brings me food and drink every night where I allow him to scr*w me ' .

The captain stares at her for a moment before he replies ' He certainly is love , this is the Isle of Wight ferry ' .