Loderingo Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 Hargreaves Lansdown are pleased to offer for a limited period only the Bristol Rovers relegation bond. This new investment being offered in association with Coral gives a 30% return on investment and expects to pay out in April this year. A spokesman said, "Many people must think this investment is too good to be true with it paying out such a high return over such a short period of time, however, having watched Bristol Rovers recent disastrous 4-1 defeat to Leyton Orient, we have given this bond an AAA rating suitable for widows, orphans and the Church of England pension fund" Satisfied customer Mr G.D. of Horfield said "Having watched Bristol Rovers for many years I have complete confidence in this bond paying out. I plan to use the money to pimp my milk float with a sub woofer. I will then drive it round the centre at 10mph on a Saturday night hoping to impress lots of drunk women with the techno version of Goodnight Irene and take them back to my cowshed. Failing that I should be able to sell them some cottage cheese and a 4 pack of Petit Filou". In other news Hargreaves Lansdown have also said they will no longer be offering their Cardiff City promotion bond. "We tried offering it for the last 2 seasons without a great deal of success. Our sales team would start explaining it to our customers and would be close to a sale when they would mysteriously start to choke. They would look around for the water they had with them only to discover their bottle had gone missing. It's a shame they stopped making the X Files as there must be some supernatural reason for this to happen 2 years in a row". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
112 Days Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 Haha. Now THAT'S good satire. And good investment sense too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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