Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" Hi Tom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Ian M Posted May 31, 2011 Admin Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" Hi Tom! I'd say unbelievably bad rather than unacceptable. On second thoughts.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I'd say unbelievably bad rather than unacceptable. On second thoughts.... I'll get me coat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 A woman brings eight year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old daughter. Johnny's mother says " Lets not be too harsh on them...they are bound to be curious about sex at that age". "Curious about sex?" replied Mary's mother, "He's taken her ******* appendix out". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Tansley Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Seeing as I can't reply to Tom, I'll do it here... I didn't think I was having a pop to be honest, If you took it that way then fair play, But as far as I could tell I (and a few others) were offering our thoughts on how the forum could improve. It was a constructive criticism rather than just saying "Mods are over zealous *****" people have put forward ideas and suggestions. If that isn't allowed then fair enough, I'll know better next time. and for what it's worth, i'd happily do some modding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Oi! This is a joke thread, Tansley. Get joking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 How many Rovers fans can you fit in a Minibus? Dunno, ask Robbored. /Vote created. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Tansley Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Oi! This is a joke thread, Tansley. Get joking Right you are Sir, Though Funny has never been my thing... Umm... Two Cows in a field, One says to the other "MOOO!" To which the other Cow replies "Oi, I was about to say that" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 How many Rovers fans can you fit in a Minibus? Dunno, ask Robbored. /Vote created. I'm reluctant to call winner so early in the thread, but..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Maybe too soon but here goes What do you call a Japanese man who survived the tsunami So-king wet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Right you are Sir, Though Funny has never been my thing... Umm... Two Cows in a field, One says to the other "MOOO!" To which the other Cow replies "Oi, I was about to say that" Hmmm..... As you were :tongue: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Maybe too soon but here goes What do you call a Japanese man who survived the tsunami So-king wet. Careful, you'll upset the Daily Mail readership Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Kate McCann has a lovely tan at the moment. I guess its because she's been lying in the sun all week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Max Factor makes eyelashes that appear three times longer. Max Factor should make condoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 BBC News : Kate McCann "Madeline was hard not to love." Although not someone you'd want to take to a restaurant it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avalonred Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Kate McCann has a lovely tan at the moment. I guess its because she's been lying in the sun all week Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Tansley Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Hmmm..... As you were :tongue: "Must do better" Story of my life... A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty-H Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I went out and bought FIFA the other day Its great being the president of Qatar Sepp Blatter has admitted that FIFA really have crossed the line this time, but smugly advises us that they will never allow the technology that will prove it. BBC News - Beached 20 tonne whale dies on Redcar beach. I suppose it had to happen to someone eventually with all those Parmo takeaway shops Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? Max Factor should make condoms I'll stop now! Edit - damn you Easton Boy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent, now he'll never have any friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 At any time, the temptation to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is never more than a whim away. Tenerife is releasing its own brand of shampoo. Shoulders. My copy of FIFA won't load up. According to my PS3 its corrupt. Its been reported that we only use 10% of our brains. So what do we use the other half for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I went out and bought FIFA the other day Its great being the president of Qatar Sepp Blatter has admitted that FIFA really have crossed the line this time, but smugly advises us that they will never allow the technology that will prove it. BBC News - Beached 20 tonne whale dies on Redcar beach. I suppose it had to happen to someone eventually with all those Parmo takeaway shops Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? Max Factor should make condoms I'll stop now! Edit - damn you Easton Boy! Someone else is DEFINATELY reading the same site as I am DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Someone else is DEFINATELY reading the same site as I am DM Iphone app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastonboy Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Iphone app My favourite one, but unfortunately 99% of it is in extremely bad taste, so is unrepeatable on here. (sickipedia) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrs Court Red Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 How many gears does a French tank have? 7. 5 reverse and two forward incase the enemy get behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrs Court Red Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Ordered a chinese last night, the chink turned up at my door and said "£20 prease". I smiled and said "Can you tell me the name of Jordan's blind son?" He said "harfey price". I replied "cheers Ting Tong here's a tenner now **** off" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiale Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I spent all yesterday sat at home in my underwear in front of the telly messing around with some garden herbs. Only for my wife to go on a massive rant at me as soon as she got home. She reckoned I should stop being such a dosser and do something useful with my thyme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bringbacktherobin Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. "No, from skipping," replied the blonde. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NifflerNomad Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Some say that Sepp Blatter's behaviour has crossed the line. But thanks to his refusal to allow the relevant technology, we may never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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