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Jonny Foreigner's Toilet Design


RedRock

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I'm no expert on toilet design. Having now tested the 'throne' in my newly fitted bathroom, a warning. It seems Jonny Foreigner's arsehole has moved several inches to the front. In response, foreign toilet designers have moved the toilet 'drop zone' forwards. This means for us Brits, we drop our eggs down the back of the ceramic bowl.

On this basis, I've now decided to vote in favour of leaving the EU and taken shares out in toilet brush suppliers.

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....there's plenty of suppliers out there, it should'nt be too hard to flush out a traditional one!

I was told my local cistern chapel had one. While bowled over by my interest, they can't handle sales. Apparently, I was the turd one who called today. While mid-flow in explaining my predicament I was told to stop-cock and leave. Cheeky.

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I was told my local cistern chapel had one. While bowled over by my interest, they can't handle sales. Apparently, I was the turd one who called today. While mid-flow in explaining my predicament I was told to stop-cock and leave. Cheeky.

I popped in quickly to my local convenient estate agent, I had tried phoning but they were engaged.

They had several available some with and some without chains. I explained I'd need to sit and think a while before deciding whether I'd be comfortable enough to make a deposit or even if I'd spend a single penny on any of them..

Thing is toilets never look good on paper do they? ... Its necessary to complete all deliberations before feeling confident in coming out of the closet and declaring your preferencies.

Whittled my choices down to a couple, not much to choose between number one or number two to be honest..

Under pressure from the agent to plump for something, it was getting late and he wanted to go, this was it shit or bust I had to go for the deal breaker. I felt strangely drawn to an Armatage Shanks turned out that was just what I needed and before I knew it within a couple of shakes the deal was done.

It was an exhausting exercise but ultimately I was very satisfied.

Phew, anyone got a light? :)

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