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Hog Many


Aizoon

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Horace and I are still recovering from last night's excesses, but he tells me of the origins of this festival.

Apparently, on New Years Eve hedgehogs come out of hibernation and celebrate with whisky that they have carefully stored away in the summer months. In the days when we were closer to nature, this earned that Eve the name of Hog Many, now sadly corrupted to Hogmanay. I'm told that the linking of arms and singing was originally a defensive measure against rampaging hogs. That strange song "Auld lang syne" is in fact an ancient spell meant to protect the revellers' ankles from their fierce little teeth.

The occasional participant, on visiting the garden to answer a call of nature, will come back and report a seething mass of drunken insectivores, but this is laughed off by his friends as the result of excess wassail, which is true, but not in the manner they think.

At dawn, the little beasts retire to their hibernacula, the only trace of their jollifications being the occasional snore and a fierce hangover come March-time. Horace advises me that it is very cruel to make loud noises in the presence of hogs coming out of hibernation. It is their equivalent of New Year's Morning :(

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