screech Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Nobody has mentioned whether they put this seasons set of bad results down to the simple fact that the tea lady has not made the step up to supply championship winning tea and sandwiches. Many succesful managers down the years have thanked a team effort for their success, right down to the tea lady. So I'm thinking, perhaps all is not well in the dressing room at half time. It does make sense that after a hard fought first half, the players will be thinking get in at 0 - 0, grab a fag and a nice hot brew to recharge the batteries and come out flying for the second half but If the tea is too hot, too cold or the milk was put in after the bag and boiling water, it could affect morale in the camp. We've only got 7 days left to use the transfer window to get ourselves a competent tea maker, come on SL, splash the cash NOW!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmersonsRed Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Promote Scott Murray from kit man to tea lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cider red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Are you suggesting putting milk first in tea? That is our main problem this year and the reason for conceding so many late goals. Imo of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awbb Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 The problem is that we can't find the right tea lady to fit our system. We tried to sign Brentford's tea lady but she decided to go to Burnley instead for tea related reasons. Crystal Palace's tea lady, though clearly surplus to requirements there, simply wasn't interested in Championship tea. Bolton's tea lady couldn't face leaving Bolton, having only recently made tea for the first team having come up through their youth tea. Lower league tea ladies are not considered good enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screech Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 3 minutes ago, Cider red said: Are you suggesting putting milk first in tea? That is our main problem this year and the reason for conceding so many late goals. Imo of course Oh, you're one of them are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cider red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 1 minute ago, screech said: Oh, you're one of them are you? Putting the milk in first creates a weak and milky cup of dross. Much like the spine of our team! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Septic Peg Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 6 minutes ago, Cider red said: Are you suggesting putting milk first in tea? That is our main problem this year and the reason for conceding so many late goals. Imo of course This is sacrilege. You must NEVER put milk in before the hot water. Hot water first, allow to stew for about 2 minutes. Apply a dash of milk. Tea should be the colour of mud and the spoon should stand up in it. You're bloody welcome... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son of Fred Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 4 minutes ago, Septic Peg said: This is sacrilege. You must NEVER put milk in before the hot water. Hot water first, allow to stew for about 2 minutes. Apply a dash of milk. Tea should be the colour of mud and the spoon should stand up in it. You're bloody welcome... Will put hairs on your chest....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exAtyeoMax Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 15 minutes ago, screech said: Nobody has mentioned whether they put this seasons set of bad results down to the simple fact that the tea lady has not made the step up to supply championship winning tea and sandwiches. Many succesful managers down the years have thanked a team effort for their success, right down to the tea lady. So I'm thinking, perhaps all is not well in the dressing room at half time. It does make sense that after a hard fought first half, the players will be thinking get in at 0 - 0, grab a fag and a nice hot brew to recharge the batteries and come out flying for the second half but If the tea is too hot, too cold or the milk was put in after the bag and boiling water, it could affect morale in the camp. We've only got 7 days left to use the transfer window to get ourselves a competent tea maker, come on SL, splash the cash NOW!!!! even worse, could be cheap teabags or PG Tips… that's enough to put anyone off their game…rooibos/decaff that is a sacking offence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverRed Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I say we should appoint Mrs Doyle until the end of the season. Aaah, go on, go on, go on, go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Galley Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Sorry but the tea lady is a guy, I know him and he has worked under twenty different managers at the gate. Also made to on the Generation Game and the made a thing about the awfull tea he made for Holloway and the Gas when they visited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exAtyeoMax Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 2 minutes ago, John Galley said: Sorry but the tea lady is a guy, I know him and he has worked under twenty different managers at the gate. Also made to on the Generation Game and the made a thing about the awfull tea he made for Holloway and the Gas when they visited. perhaps it's scrumpy's fault then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CotswoldRed Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 22 minutes ago, EmersonsRed said: Promote Scott Murray from kit man to tea lady. That facial growth will have to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davefevs Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 26 minutes ago, screech said: Nobody has mentioned whether they put this seasons set of bad results down to the simple fact that the tea lady has not made the step up to supply championship winning tea and sandwiches. Many succesful managers down the years have thanked a team effort for their success, right down to the tea lady. So I'm thinking, perhaps all is not well in the dressing room at half time. It does make sense that after a hard fought first half, the players will be thinking get in at 0 - 0, grab a fag and a nice hot brew to recharge the batteries and come out flying for the second half but If the tea is too hot, too cold or the milk was put in after the bag and boiling water, it could affect morale in the camp. We've only got 7 days left to use the transfer window to get ourselves a competent tea maker, come on SL, splash the cash NOW!!!! We've been playing 352 and she's put the cups on the tray in 442 formation, sending mixed messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shtanley Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I think we should be looking at foreign tea ladies. Cheaper, raw and hungry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lympsham Red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I seem to remember last year we signed a tea lady on an emergency loan from Fulham after our normal one scalded herself one matchday. Perhaps we should consider making a bit for her, I've heard the new Fulham manager isn't keen on her tea-making skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 8 minutes ago, Shtanley said: I think we should be looking at foreign tea ladies. Cheaper, raw and hungry. Yes. There will be many bargain tea ladies to be had in Ligue 2 who could hopefully step up. The only question is, could they do it on a wet February night against Huddersfield? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 This illustrates why were struggling in the Championship. "Tea Lady" is so lower league. We should employ a barista to provide a selection of different freshly ground coffees. It's no wonder we can't get anyone to sign for us if we've only got stewed tea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exAtyeoMax Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 15 minutes ago, Red Right Hand said: Yes. There will be many bargain tea ladies to be had in Ligue 2 who could hopefully step up. The only question is, could they do it on a wet February night against Huddersfield? I'd be a bit concerned about their tea-making abilities, aren't they more partial to coffee on the continent? Does that call for a barista instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exAtyeoMax Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 10 minutes ago, pongo88 said: This illustrates why were struggling in the Championship. "Tea Lady" is so lower league. We should employ a barista to provide a selection of different freshly ground coffees. It's no wonder we can't get anyone to sign for us if we've only got stewed tea! I don't know, a proper tea urn can certainly do the job, often preferable to a weak tea variety not left to brew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charliesboots Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Has anyone got any PG Tips on the next Tea Lady to join us as I'm off down the bookies? Lets hope the new Tea Lady gets us to tWININg ways... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leveller Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 1 hour ago, Septic Peg said: This is sacrilege. You must NEVER put milk in before the hot water. Hot water first, allow to stew for about 2 minutes. Apply a dash of milk. Tea should be the colour of mud and the spoon should stand up in it. You're bloody welcome... This suggests you are making tea in a cup with a teabag. That of course is amateurish, and the milk first or last argument only applies in professional tea making where it is brewed in a pot with loose leaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I prefer coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepton red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 I do love a cup of PG Tips. Much better than that Yorkshire stuff. Reminds of a song sang when Somerset played Yorkies in the 1 day final at Lords a few years ago, 'we drink Cider, you drink tea..' Anyway, sack the Tea Lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 39 minutes ago, Lympsham Red said: I seem to remember last year we signed a tea lady on an emergency loan from Fulham after our normal one scalded herself one matchday. Perhaps we should consider making a bit for her, I've heard the new Fulham manager isn't keen on her tea-making skills. Don`t forget that a lot of our loanee tea lady`s best brews were created when the assistant tea lady, often regarded as fat, lazy and contributing nothing, was there to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reigate Red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Whilst the quality of the tea no doubt has an effect I think there has not been enough consideration given to the tea lady's ongoing limited ability to vary the biscuit selection. The season long 3 digestives, 5 rich tea and 2 bourbon formation has become predictable. I understand there is talk of the need to bring in a continental selection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 11 minutes ago, Reigate Red said: Whilst the quality of the tea no doubt has an effect I think there has not been enough consideration given to the tea lady's ongoing limited ability to vary the biscuit selection. The season long 3 digestives, 5 rich tea and 2 bourbon formation has become predictable. I understand there is talk of the need to bring in a continental selection. We don't need some fancy dan from Reigate to tell us what sort of biscuits to serve. Continental selections may be O.K. in Surry, but not in Bristol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldenBall Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Only one woman can save us.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reigate Red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 8 minutes ago, pongo88 said: We don't need some fancy dan from Reigate to tell us what sort of biscuits to serve. Continental selections may be O.K. in Surry, but not in Bristol Don't fret. The board will only sanction the cheaper continental biscuits from the lower shelves none of the fancy stuff on the higher shelves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchay Red Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 The tea lady had identified a lot of new equipment in the summer that would improve the brew to everyone's taste. But at the last minute the board decided that she couldn't have what she wanted after all. She desperately looked for alternative equipment but it was all too expensive. So under the circumstances she reluctantly carried on with what she had. Unfortunately she found that it doesn't taste quite so good these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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