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OTIB FRINGE ... Dont fancy Rovers chances but...


WhistleHappy

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Posted

 .... It sounds like their tie in the Carabao Cup draw puts them in the mix at Molinneux - I don't think they'll process beyond that though cos they're cack.

 

(soz, not all Fringe one liners are great ;) but how about the Otib jokers having a go?... The OTIB Fringe Festival ! ) 

Posted
7 minutes ago, reddoh said:

Not hate, I think he just stopped them

Not if he was in the kitchen at someone's party.

And just to get a bonus point, Jonah used to be a dinosaur. He was in Pterydactyl and the Dinosaurs (Seaside Shuffle).

Posted
12 minutes ago, Norn Iron said:

Not if he was in the kitchen at someone's party.

And just to get a bonus point, Jonah used to be a dinosaur. He was in Pterydactyl and the Dinosaurs (Seaside Shuffle).

No , you're wrong there , I distinctly remember it being Terry Dactyl the singer with that group .

Posted
5 minutes ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

What's the difference between a 5km run around The Colony and Wael appearing on Celebrity Masterchef?

One's a pant in the country.

I spat my wine out with that one. Thanks Rudolph.

Posted

Wael walked into a bar with an arse under his arm.

The Barman said, "where did you get that ?"

The Arse replied "I won him in a raffle"

Posted
13 minutes ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

What's the difference between a 5km run around The Colony and Wael appearing on Celebrity Masterchef?

One's a pant in the country.

{To borrow your formula}

 

Whats the difference between a constipated owl and a crosseyed Wael pretending to be a gameskeeper?

 

One hoots but can't shit...

Posted
6 minutes ago, handsofclay said:

I'm probably going to show my age now but who the heck is Wael? I'm perplexed.

The owner of the sixth richest club in Britain...

Posted
9 minutes ago, B1ackbird said:

The owner of the sixth richest club in Britain...

Thanks, I'm a bit slow today owing to the cup draw in he wee small hours. Plus when Septic Peg told the joke about Nick Higgs I miss read it as Nick Clegg and thereafter I was on a loser trying to figure it out.

Posted

And just to get a bonus point, Jonah used to be a dinosaur. He was in Pterydactyl and the Dinosaurs (Seaside Shuffle).

59 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

No , you're wrong there , I distinctly remember it being Terry Dactyl the singer with that group .

You have taken the p here in someone's name! You are right, of course.

Posted

Wael went to an eminent Harley Street doctor complaining of pains in his stomach, the doctor told him he had excess gas, he advised not going anywhere near matches.

The doctor then realised who this patient was and told him to **** off, as he had no money.

Posted

Wael called his dad one day and said "Dad, I give up my claim to the family fortune in fact I don't want to be associated with this family anymore. I am giving up my passport, leaving my faith and will spend the rest of my life in poverty. What do you have to say about that?"

Actually, that's not exactly what he said. It sounded more like....

"Dad, I've just bought Bristol Rovers"

Posted

But I may as well join in.

 

Rovers are so skint they can't afford new jumpers for goalposts, they have to make do with a few Al-Qadis.

Posted
12 hours ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

What's the difference between a 5km run around The Colony and Wael appearing on Celebrity Masterchef?

One's a pant in the country.

We have a winner! 

Posted

I saw Stuart Sinclair walking down the street the other day wearing only one shoe. "Alright Stu? Have you lost a shoe?". He replied, "No, I found one"

Posted

Steve Hamer was surprised to be set upon by the GHS head butting the windows of his car this morning. "I don't know what their problem is ?", said Steve, "They asked me how Plan B was progressing? 'TENTatively' I replied. They went ballistic!"

Posted

Wael al-Qadi and Darrell Clarke fly to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football and they are suitably impressed and arrange for him to come over.

Two weeks later Bristol Rovers are 4-0 down to Dover with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Bristol Rovers.

The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful" says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry."

"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we came to Horfield in the first place!"

Boom, boom!

Posted

I wouldn't worry too much about what our Rovers friends have got to say.

A chap I work with is a Rovers fan, and I had to explain to him last week that a MILF actually referred to someone else's mum!

Posted

Having recently taken over the gas, Wael is a bit perplexed to suddenly find a bit of lettuce sticking out his bottom.

This cannot be right he thinks, and takes himself off to the Doctor, who indeed sees the little bit of lettuce sticking out, but cannot really give a reason. However in discussion Wael mentions his new role.

O dear, says the doctor. I have worked out what is wrong and it is not good news I am afraid. What is sticking out your bottom is just the tip of the iceberg.

Posted
3 hours ago, PHILINFRANCE said:

I wouldn't worry too much about what our Rovers friends have got to say.

A chap I work with is a Rovers fan, and I had to explain to him last week that a MILF actually referred to someone else's mum!

Not in their case...

 

:blink:

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