cheshire_red Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Martin Johnson, Richard Hill and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God being judged whether they are fit to enter Heaven, God looks at the three men and says "Before I judge whether your fit to enter Heaven, I have to ask you what you believe in." God looks at Martin Johnson. "So what do you believe in" Johnson looks God straight in the eye and replies "I believe rugby is the food of life, Nothing brings so much joy to so many people throughout the country and the world, I have dedicated my career to bringing this joy to as many fans and supporters as I can. "God is very impressed by Johnson's dedication and devotion to the supporters and invites him to sit on his right hand side. God then turns to Richard Hill. "What do you believe in" Hill stands tall and proud and replies "I believe truth, honour and integrity are the key ingredients of life and I have devoted my entire playing career to being the living embodiment of these values. "God is moved by the speech and invites Hill to sit at his left hand side. Finally, God turns to Wilkinson "So what do you believe in then" Wilkinson looks up at God. "I believe you are sitting in my seat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neo Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 STORY OF AN AUSTRALIAN BOY While in a sports shop, the son picked up an England rugby shirt and said to his sister: "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for Christmas." His sister was outraged and promptly whacked him round the head, telling him to go talk to his mother. Off goes the little lad with the white rugby shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas". The mother is outraged and promtly whacks him around the head, saying: "Go talk to your father". Off he goes with the rugby shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says: "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all back in the car, heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says: "Son, I hope you've learned something today." The son says: "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies: "I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you Aussie b@st@rds." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mosquito Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 The words that made me really enjoy the singing on the day we beat the Aussies to win the World Cup: To the tune of "Yellow Submarine" In the town where I was born, there lived a man who was a thief And he told me of his life, stealing bread and shagging sheep. So they put him in the nick, and then a magistrate he went to see He said "put him on a ship, to the convict colony" You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony... Swing Low, sweet chariot :Party27: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devonred Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Stealing my joke cheshire red? I posted that 2 weeks ago, good joke though, worthy of a repeat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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