A Horse With No Name Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 Ok, so there is a growing number of Jesus Loves You type signs along many of our local main roads, and me being me, always try to think of a witty sign to place next to it. One on the Link Road by the Long Ashton roundabout says " Jesus Saves " and I would love to place one alongside which says " Sign Him Up For City Then ". Another I saw today on the Longwell Green Ring Road says " Only Jesus Saves " and it would be fun to put " But Bentley Does Try " Anyone else have the same humour as me ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 Jesus loving me is all very well, but could he pay off my credit card bill? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1960maaan Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 I chose the less offensive version, but this always does the rounds. First one I saw many years ago was. Jesus saves, but Keegan nets the rebound. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 20 minutes ago, 1960maaan said: I chose the less offensive version, but this always does the rounds. First one I saw many years ago was. Jesus saves, but Keegan nets the rebound. Wasn't the famous one, "Jesus Saves, St John Nets The Rebound"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1960maaan Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 3 minutes ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: Wasn't the famous one, "Jesus Saves, St John Nets The Rebound"? Possibly, but the Keegan one was the first I saw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS2 Red Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 Jesus and Satan were having an argument about who was better with computers. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 5 hours ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: Wasn't the famous one, "Jesus Saves, St John Nets The Rebound"? I always thought it was Ian Callaghan. There is a photo somewhere on Internet, with the blackboard outside the church. Presumably, that would answer the question - if anybody can find said photo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS2 Red Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 40 minutes ago, PHILINFRANCE said: I always thought it was Ian Callaghan. There is a photo somewhere on Internet, with the blackboard outside the church. Presumably, that would answer the question - if anybody can find said photo. The "Jesus Saves, but *** scores the rebound" seems to have been used a lot. Even in ice hockey with Wayne Gretzky. But it looks like it started with Ian St John. Which makes sense with a surname like that. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/stan-hey-loyalty-can-t-turn-back-the-clock-2180317.html?amp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 2 minutes ago, BS2 Red said: The "Jesus Saves, but *** scores the rebound" seems to have been used a lot. Even in ice hockey with Wayne Gretzky. But it looks like it started with Ian St John. Which makes sense with a surname like that. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/stan-hey-loyalty-can-t-turn-back-the-clock-2180317.html?amp I agree with your ‘logic’, and it may well have been Ian St John; as you say, it makes sense and makes a nicer story. I shall try and find the photo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS2 Red Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 36 minutes ago, PHILINFRANCE said: I agree with your ‘logic’ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted June 6, 2022 Report Share Posted June 6, 2022 13 hours ago, BS2 Red said: But it looks like it started with Ian St John. Which makes sense with a surname like that. Yep, it seems you were right. A shame I couldn't find the photo of the blackboard, but.... A few years ago, there was a famous footballer called Ian St John, who played as a striker (attacking goal scorer) for Liverpool. Around that time a Methodist church in Liverpool put up an advertisement on a board outside the church: JESUS SAVES!. By the next morning there was a piece of graffiti added to the notice by an anonymous Liverpool supporter: St JOHN SCORES ON THE REBOUND! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Rocker Posted June 7, 2022 Report Share Posted June 7, 2022 On 05/06/2022 at 15:57, The Horse With No Name said: Ok, so there is a growing number of Jesus Loves You type signs along many of our local main roads, and me being me, always try to think of a witty sign to place next to it. One on the Link Road by the Long Ashton roundabout says " Jesus Saves " and I would love to place one alongside which says " Sign Him Up For City Then ". Another I saw today on the Longwell Green Ring Road says " Only Jesus Saves " and it would be fun to put " But Bentley Does Try " Anyone else have the same humour as me ? There are signs outside a school near us which read, "Show you care, park elsewhere". Which is all very worthy. I've so far resisted the temptation to scrawl underneath, "You're out of luck, I don't give a fu k". 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonBristolian Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Blimey. I expected him to go to Arsenal - not some local team I have never heard of! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonBristolian Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 11 hours ago, City Rocker said: There are signs outside a school near us which read, "Show you care, park elsewhere". Which is all very worthy. I've so far resisted the temptation to scrawl underneath, "You're out of luck, I don't give a fu k". Very glad you haven’t. You can’t put a sign like that near a school. The English teachers will give you a C at best because the rhyme doesn’t quite scan properly. Maybe try “You’ve run out of luck”instead? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyderInACan Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 On 05/06/2022 at 15:57, The Horse With No Name said: Ok, so there is a growing number of Jesus Loves You type signs along many of our local main roads I hope the religious nutjobs take them down. Idiots. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leveller Posted June 12, 2022 Report Share Posted June 12, 2022 On 07/06/2022 at 21:00, City Rocker said: There are signs outside a school near us which read, "Show you care, park elsewhere". Which is all very worthy. I've so far resisted the temptation to scrawl underneath, "You're out of luck, I don't give a fu k". I regularly move one of those signs when I park near Ashton Gate! There are no parking restrictions there when the school is closed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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