Benik Afobe interview

[Davefevs]

He talks about the few months after he lost his daughter, which if he means City, does not reflect well on us.

[Jimbo123]

5 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

He talks about the few months after he lost his daughter, which if he means City, does not reflect well on us.

Correction - doesn’t reflect well on Lee Johnson.

Makes me laugh the lengths some of our fans went to try and justify that bloke’s position. Completely out of his depth managing a club like ours at our level.

[Davefevs]

11 minutes ago, Jimbo123 said:

Correction - doesn’t reflect well on Lee Johnson.

Makes me laugh the lengths some of our fans went to try and justify that bloke’s position. Completely out of his depth managing a club like ours at our level.

I deliberately kept it at club level, because he doesn’t name names, and uses the term “coach” not head-coach / manager.

Bearing in mind Holden had lost his daughter, I can’t believe it was him though.  I actually spoke to Dean about this a couple of weeks later, and Kasey Palmer about Benik.  It’s at times like this you realise how young some of the players are (and how old I felt too!) and how some are very mature and others aren’t.

[W-S-M Seagull]

3 hours ago, Jimbo123 said:

Correction - doesn’t reflect well on Lee Johnson.

Makes me laugh the lengths some of our fans went to try and justify that bloke’s position. Completely out of his depth managing a club like ours at our level.

I've heard LJ mention his own daughter many times so it's really shocking to hear that he treated Benik this way. 

People don't realise how lucky we are to now have Nige. Nige wouldn't ever put results ahead of a players mental wellbeing. LJ would. 

[Tinmans Love Child]

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

Edited June 23, 2023 by Tinmans Love Child

[Fordy62]

1 hour ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

I see things like this happen and it helps me  ensure it’ll never be me acting like that. There are many pricks out there. 

[PeterStyvarsRightFoot]

Interesting topic, what a horrifying experience Benik went through and i can only begin to imagine how much mental damage it can cause to an individual but i for one, don't think it's a case of 'get up and get on with it' my first thought listening to it was " Holdens been through something traumatic that Lee helped him with at the time it happened. How Holden dealt with it himself he has said in interviews since is he tried to make others around him better,so it could heal himself in the process.. people handle their traumas differently but if it was Deano or Lee then i'd imagine they had the mixture of both Beniks best intentions and the clubs during a very challenging period. I for one hope Benik has found the peace he needed.

[KegCity]

9 hours ago, Davefevs said:

I deliberately kept it at club level, because he doesn’t name names, and uses the term “coach” not head-coach / manager.

Bearing in mind Holden had lost his daughter, I can’t believe it was him though.  I actually spoke to Dean about this a couple of weeks later, and Kasey Palmer about Benik.  It’s at times like this you realise how young some of the players are (and how old I felt too!) and how some are very mature and others aren’t.

I assume it was Lee Johnson as he mentions being pulled into his office, and it sounds like the sort of thing he would ask from his players. 

[GrahamC]

4 hours ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

That’s abysmal.

As someone who manages a team that is in excess of 100 I always strive to treat everyone well & the same.

That shouldn’t be seen as some sort of achievement but standard.

How anyone can think behaving in that way is right or can possibly make the recipient feel anything but anger at their employer is beyond me.

[Leveller]

10 hours ago, Jimbo123 said:

Correction - doesn’t reflect well on Lee Johnson.

Makes me laugh the lengths some of our fans went to try and justify that bloke’s position. Completely out of his depth managing a club like ours at our level.

Fascinating how people like to rewrite history and how the bandwagon views change over time.

Looking into the history of Benik’s time here, his ACL and the sad death of his daughter, I popped back to OTIB September 2019.

LJ had been manager since 2016 and we started the season well. Someone started a thread wondering if LJ could manage in the Prem. Generally, this wasn’t laughed down, and some of his current detractors (eg Robbored) seemed to be pretty approving. The general tone was that, three years in, fans were pleased with him.

By July 2020 he had been sacked! 

[Incidentally Benik’s daughter died in November 2019 while he was injured. I don’t think he appeared again for us until June 2020, so presumably the incident he relates was at least 7-8 months after the event. Not to approve of anybody downplaying his grief, but it can’t have been in the immediate aftermath.]

[ZumerZetSmithy]

7 hours ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

I had similar when I  had at 3 different times had a loss. I survived but it was not easy 

[jj77]

7 hours ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

You can go on a ton of management courses that teach you all the jargon but not one will ever teach you not a be a *****.

[REDOXO]

That’s very rough. I remember everything at the time, you can hypothesize over who he’s talking about, but it’s fairly obvious in view of the time line. 
 

However players are treated as commodities now more than ever. You just have to look at the hype around buying and selling of certain individuals. 
 

This player is a top individual and certainly was a very good player and was paid accordingly as a commodity

Unfortunately few have to go through this kind of turmoil in their 20s under that kind of pressure at home and a promotion push, where you are expected to be the difference by your management, who themselves were under huge pressure. 
 

Good luck to the fella!

 

 

 

[Lorenzos Only Goal]

8 hours ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

It's amazing how unsympathetic some people can be and not just football.

My father in law in 2015 out of the blue got a brain tumour stage 4 and had 6 months tops, I started a new job in the middle of this and my manager was fully aware of the situation.  When he died we knew it was imminent so I WFH for a few days so I could be there for my wife.  

After he died (on the Monday that week) I called my manager an hour or so after after to say I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as my wife needed me, and I assumed I would get compassionate leave, and instead my manager was annoyed and she said to me that he's not close family so I will have to take the time as unpaid. I said I'll take it as sick instead, and she said you will need a sick note, I said i didn't as I can self certify for 7 days, and she hung up the phone on me without replying!  This was a few hours after I was there when he died, after 6 months of watching him die.  Terrible management and this was working for one of the biggest financial organisations in the Uk so it was no impact on her or the business!

 

Man having worked in the financial sector this rings true, I used a mentor a young Indian consultant to a financial company.  Her daughter died at short notice who was living with her mum in India. She had 3 days to make arrangements including getting out and back to India.  She left on the weds and was at her desk the following Monday.  I'll never forget that utterly heartbreaking.  And this was in 2015 so not that long ago.

[bcfcredandwhite]

1 hour ago, ZumerZetSmithy said:

I had similar when I  had at 3 different times had a loss. I survived but it was not easy 

I’m very lucky. My company was brilliant when my own mum died - they told me to take whatever time I needed. In the end I only took a few days because I needed to be busy. 
Again when my sister-in-law died they let me have compassionate leave when they didn’t need to. 
I’m one of the lucky ones who can say I really like my employer and they get 100% loyalty from me in return. 
 

[big dosser]

after being a project manager for 20 years i always had a saying

you re only as good as the men and women that work for you so treat them all with compassion and respect and give them as much guidance and help you can.

the problem now is top bosses dont like it they would rather you be a asshole with a whipping stick,hence after some great years working in my job with some great people a change of top brass who had no compassion or respect  was followed by me telling them to shove the job where the sun dont shine.

[Mr Popodopolous]

3 hours ago, Leveller said:

Fascinating how people like to rewrite history and how the bandwagon views change over time.

Looking into the history of Benik’s time here, his ACL and the sad death of his daughter, I popped back to OTIB September 2019.

LJ had been manager since 2016 and we started the season well. Someone started a thread wondering if LJ could manage in the Prem. Generally, this wasn’t laughed down, and some of his current detractors (eg Robbored) seemed to be pretty approving. The general tone was that, three years in, fans were pleased with him.

By July 2020 he had been sacked! 

[Incidentally Benik’s daughter died in November 2019 while he was injured. I don’t think he appeared again for us until June 2020, so presumably the incident he relates was at least 7-8 months after the event. Not to approve of anybody downplaying his grief, but it can’t have been in the immediate aftermath.]

There is some truth to this although I would say his man-management has been suspect for some time.

The Fielding story earlier was interesting, this too...Magnússon at Preston occasionally cited and I believe loaning Moore out January 2020, dunno. That's more of a personal view though, the others are quite well documented.

[Mr Popodopolous]

Saw a good point on Twitter however, he went back to Stoke post injury didn't he, could he have been referring to someone up there.

Edited June 23, 2023 by Mr Popodopolous

[Sleepy1968]

2 hours ago, Mr Popodopolous said:

Saw a good point on Twitter however, he went back to Stoke post injury didn't he, could he have been referring to someone up there.

Yep. No one knows whether it was LJ really, so using it as a stick to beat him with is a bit out of order.

Hopefully whoever it was can learn from their mistake.