Joke

[Stoke_Gifford_Red]

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and

spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and

Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Haagen Das Ice Cream and

Magnums. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said:

"Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too ...with sprinkles." And lo they

gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that

Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and refined sugar from

the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on

the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped

lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with

potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into

chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those

extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not

have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried

before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and the .99 pence double cheeseburger. Then

Satan said: "You want fries with that?" And Man replied: "Yes! And super

size 'em!" And Satan said: "It is good." And Man and Woman went into

cardiac arrest.

God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then...Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service........

[Taz]