True Stories To Brighten Up Any

[Ian M]

If you think you're having a bad day...read these true stories!

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon

Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,

000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved

animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and

applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they

were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room

to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his

reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her

repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the

world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came

down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had

gone bust, his girl friend had left him and his phone and

electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,

shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from

his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him

away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank

of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until

that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty

of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs,

all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and

stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And finally.......

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on

a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on

it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to

bits.