Big Red Rich Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 *Mods - Any chance of leaving this up here till this evening, its a slow day for all of us I think!* So, office parties! Are you having one this year? You may or may not know that i'm a part-time Dj and i'm doing an office party disco tommorow night. Just wondered if you've got any quality stories from you office parties? Remember the City Christmas do? Mercer and Jones?!? Have you had those photcopier games etc etc?? And finally, whats your favourate office party tune? Mine would have to be Dolly Parton - Working 9 to 5!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshire_red Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 NO! She wanted extended tea and lunch breaks, choccie Digestives, an extra months holiday, the central heating turned up to 20C and her IN tray abolished. No problem with any of that, it was the 30% increase I couldn't manage, checked the ruler and only managed a 15% increase! Didn't even bother checking the circumference! Get down on it - Kool & The Gang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gazred Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Remember reading in the Green Un recently Scottys artical about a BCFC party a few years back where they told Sean Dyche it was fancy dress and he turned up wearing a load of 70s gear....it wasnt fancy dress and when everyone jumped out to suprise him and he realised this, he wasnt to pleased apparently and stormed out before coming back in a change of clothes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Had mine two weeks ago.. Commonwealth place at Temple Meads, 3 course meal, disco, tribute acts (Kylie, Tom Jones, Justin Timberland & Britney Spears - who was carrying a few more pounds than she should of been!!) We had a special guest - LISA SCOTT-LEE who sang twice, although I can't remember what she sang..!! Not a bad night, oh and a free bar Fave song - I am the one and only (hmmm ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downendcity Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Our's is tomorrow night, with a Wild West theme. I had thought of wearing Rovers kit ( the invite said to wear a cowboy outfit!) Company pays for overnight stay in hotel and it's free drinks alll night so if we lose to Luton I probably won't realise anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red angler Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Christmas Party ???? wats one of those?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budbcfc Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 office parties ? get a real job you penpushers. joing peeps honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taz Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 had a special guest - LISA SCOTT-LEE who sang twice, although I can't remember what she sang..!! ← Who cares what she sang Mine is on Saturday at the Rotunda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoke_Gifford_Red Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Not really an office party but we have a 6th form party on Monday, after we have gone to the pub at lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spunkwood Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 Ours (argos) is in a little hall going to be really poo no free bar or poo but we have a Buffet and no xmas bonus ######in poo! you'd think with a big company like that it would be good but NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukejones2 Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 Well, I had an audit department do on Tuesday just gone and it's our office do on Friday. The Audit department do may ( ) have resulted in a manager and juniior sharing a bed... so I may be lookign forward to tomorrow night and the stories it may bring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhatWill Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 I've just generally been going out all week on the lash. Favourite song for this time of year heard in the early hours of last night, I think : It was Christmas Eve babe In the drunk tank An old man said to me, won't see another one And then he sang a song The Rare Old Mountain Dew I turned my face away And dreamed about you Got on a lucky one Came in eighteen to one I've got a feeling This year's for me and you So Happy Christmas I love you baby I can see a better time When all our dreams come true They've got cars big as bars They've got rivers of gold But the wind goes right through you It's no place for the old When he first took my hand On a cold Christmas Eve You promised me Broadway was waiting for me You were handsome You were pretty Queen of New York City When the band finished playing They howled out for more Sinatra was swinging, All the drunks they were singing We kissed on a corner Then danced through the night The boys of the NYPD choir Were singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For Christmas day You're a bum You're a punk You're an old slut on junk Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed You scumbag, you maggot You cheap lousy faggot Happy Christmas your arse And thank God it's our last The boys of the NYPD choir Still singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For Christmas day I could have been someone Well so could anyone You took my dreams from me When I first found you I kept them with me babe I put them with my own Can't make it all alone I've built my dreams around you The boys of the NYPD choir Still singing "Galway Bay" And the bells are ringing out For Christmas Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave L Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 As I work on my own at home, I always miss out on office parties. I don't have a photocopier, so won't even be able to take picture of my arse, but I suppose I could cause quite a stir down at Backwell Post Office for 10p a buttock. Sadly, there's also a bit of a shortage of attractive women for me to ogle in my study up in the attic, so I might have to pop into Tescos in Nailsea for my seasonal pulchritude fix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Red Rich Posted December 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 Same for me Dave L. My office party would consist of me and my business partner, oh and a bottle of jack daniels that we won from a supplier yesterday!!! And we do have a photocopier.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potbelly Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 but I suppose I could cause quite a stir down at Backwell Post Office for 10p a buttock.← Do you have an A3 printer? Sadly, there's also a bit of a shortage of attractive women for me to ogle in my study up in the attic,← http://www..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 As I work on my own at home, I always miss out on office parties. I don't have a photocopier, so won't even be able to take picture of my arse, but I suppose I could cause quite a stir down at Backwell Post Office for 10p a buttock. Sadly, there's also a bit of a shortage of attractive women for me to ogle in my study up in the attic, so I might have to pop into Tescos in Nailsea for my seasonal pulchritude fix. ← You have a camera....... Take a picture of Tom'arse (aka Mr.TomF) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxing Kangaroo Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 Just been having a look at football365.com where they've been asking for readers to send in stories about work Christmas parties. With a bit of cut and pasting here are the best one's - Well, I reckon I've done something appalling every single year (with one exception) In reverse order: 2003 - Fell asleep through most of it. With my tits hanging out of my dress. People very thoughtfully took photos. 2002 - Loads of free champagne was on offer as it was the firm's 10th anniversary or some such nonsense. I was asked to leave around 7.30. 2001 - I really can't remember that one. 2000 - Met my husband, he was working behind the bar and I pointed him out to a colleague that this was the kind of bloke I normally went for. She dared me to give him my phone number, so I did. 1999 - In a very posh castle. I stood on the table and sang the 12 days of Cantona from start to finish. My boss was German. And a Bayern Munich fan. I got sacked a month later. 1998 - In a posh hotel somewhere. I snogged the director of the company, who had kindly taken me home to his house (which he shared with his lovely wife) as I was too drunk to go home. The shame the next morning, no clue where I was and had to get the tube back from Hounslow. 1997 - Ended up in Smithfield begging for pints of Guinness at six in the morning. With some bloke who I met in SoHo. I then went to work at 9am. I was asked to go home as I was frightening the punters. 1996 - Not bad apart from I told the taxi driver to take me to the house that I'd moved out of six months before. This year, I'm not drinking. If you print this, I would certainly like to remain anonymous. Anonymous Jiggling The Boss' Breasts I used to work for a software company in London. Our boss was called Jane, and was the archetypal sloan ranger type. She decided we should have our Christmas party in a posh restaurant, and she bought a new dress especially. I was the only northerner there so, playing to type, I took it on myself to drink as much as possible. I also produced a present for her - it was one of those battery-operated dogs that yap three times and then flip over backwards and I thought she'd like that for some reason. Anyway, She opened it all up, turned it on, watched it yap three times, and then flip over backwards, knocking a glass of red wine all down her... It got worse - later on, I was sat, zombied, and she leant over me to talk to someone else. Apparently (I have no recollection of this at all, but there was a few witnesses), I put my hand up her blouse, grabbed her tits, and started making them 'talk' to each other. Thwarg, the god of lager was with me that day, as she got so drunk herself, that she completely forgot about the later episode, but she never let me forget about the ruined frock. Shaun McClure, Dewsbury (P.S. I no longer work there, so it's safe to use my real name) Xmas? What Xmas? I used to work in the City of London and every Xmas Eve is a traditional time for getting completely rat-arsed. This was not a problem before all-day opening as by 4:00pm we would all be poured unceremoniously on to the pavement and stumble off in search of a train. However, when all day opening came in it became more complicated, and those unlicensed cabs became very popular. A friend of mine was a notorious drunk and one Xmas Eve went on the usual bender. Being a bit of a tight-arsed git he refused a cab and headed for London Bridge Station. As you would expect he woke up in the sidings in Dartford and walked up the lines to the station which obviously was locked. Thus he had to scramble over the gate, tearing his suit in the process. He then had a three-mile walk home as there was no public transport or cabs running. He enters the house expecting a bollocking from the wife and so adopts the suitably meek posture. "Sorry Darling I am late I had a few too many and woke up n the sidings." "LATE? LATE?" screeches his wife, "It's ##cking Boxing Day you ######!" Needless to say he is divorced and only sees the kids, whose first Xmas he missed, once a month. Chris Pinnington This Happened To A Friend... A friend of mine (no, really) came a serious cropper on a works (Am I naughty or what!)-up a while ago that was so hilarious, I just had to share it with you. My nameless friend (Matt) used to work for a TV company in the south-west and was out on his works do. He got so completely (I said a naughty word) that he managed to get lost, in Torquay, during the 400-yard walk from the venue to his hotel. He then walked aimlessly around Torquay, looking for his hotel until about 4am, at which point he found an empty house and decided to (ahem) 'enter' the house for a kip so he could wait until daylight to find the hotel. Having tried, unsuccessfully, to break both panes of a double glazing window (just the first one) he tried to remove a few roof tiles and get in that way (some work was being done on the roof so this isn't as mad as it sounds), this also failed so he gave up and wandered off. Eventually, he found the hotel but it was locked and he realised that he had lost his key on his travels. He found his balcony and saw that he had left his window open. A quick shimmy up the ivy saw him lying on his back with 40 feet of ivy on top of him so he went and found a ladder (as you do) and finally got to bed. He woke up next day and had to go to work feeling like something the cat brought in and then brought up. All would have been OK but, a couple of days later he got a phone call from the police. Remember the hotel room key that had gone missing? The one with the room number on it? He'd dropped it on the roof of the house that he'd tried to get into. A quick explanation to the police (I was very, very drunk !) and some payment to the irate house owner and all should have been well, except that the TV company were less than pleased and sent him on his way. Oh dear. Anonymous Being Threatened By The Boss Two years ago I went to my work Christmas party, which was at a wine bar. The last thing I properly remember was staggering around on the dance floor whilst swigging from a bottle of white wine. Through the mist (why is it always misty in my memories of drunken nights out?) I spotted the CEO of my company dancing with a female colleague whilst holding a glass of red. Suddenly, in a moment of blinding clarity, I realised that my sole purpose on this earth was to leg it across the dance floor, flinging people out of the way with cries of "bleaurgh!!" and shoulder-barge him into a table of drinks. It would be a difficult task, what with my instability and partial vision, but at least I seemed to have dropped the bottle of wine I had been carrying, giving me an extra hand for balance. BANG. Anyway, it all became a bit blurred after that but there was definitely one moment where he had me by the neck and was threatening me with something (it was too misty to tell at this point, but apparently it was a bottle). Luckily, I was so drunk at that point that I couldn't remember what I'd done, so I claimed my innocence (this didn't seem to help). I have no idea what happened after that, because the next thing I remember was waking up in pile of vomit-ridden clothes the following morning. I would like to think that I faced him off in a manly fashion, but in fact I am reliably informed that I cried like a baby until one of the secretaries (who up until that point I had thought I had a chance with) put me in a cab home. On the plus side, I am still in contact with the CEO and he lends me his Chelsea season tickets when he can't go to a game. I don't work there any more though. I think that one had better remain anonymous. Anonymous Being Snogged By The Boss Long and short of it - I had a gay kiss with my MD whilst my girlfriend and his wife watched. Daryl Frost, Tring, Herts, Watford Fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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