weepywall Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 BRFC have cancelled the xmas nativity play at the rugby ground due to the fact that they had plenty of donkeys but couldn,t find 3 wise men ! The old ones are alwaysthe best !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RedwardsV1 Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 It was Bristol Rovers' Fancy Dress X mas party the other night and Ian Atkins decided to go as a pumpkin, by the end of the night he still was'nt a coach.... *Tumbleweed###### Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E Block Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy234 Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 A burglary was recently committed at the Memorial Ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a blue & white carpet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shire_redz Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 "Dad, can I have a cowboy outfit for Christmas?" "Sorry son, I can't quite afford Bristol Rovers!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myol'man Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 Why wasn't Jesus born in Cardiff? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy234 Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 A Rovers fan with a dog that barks every time his team wins bumps into another dog walker. The Gashead says my dog does tricks when the gas win. The other dog walker says what does the dog do when Rovers get promoted then? The gashead says I don't know I have only had him for 30 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 "Dad, can I have a cowboy outfit for Christmas?" "Sorry son, I can't quite afford Bristol Rovers!" ← The only one that raised a smile!! Poor show lads..!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider hoss rules Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 rovers fan walking his dog, kicks an old can and out pops a genie " you have freed me" says the genie, " i will grant you anything" rovers fan says, "can you make my dog win crufts ?" Genie takes a look, dog has only 1 ear, cross eyed, matted fur and all its teeth have gone. "sorry" says the genie, "not even I can perform such a miracle" "OK" says the Gas head, "how about promotion for the rovers ?" the genie then says, "let me have another look at that dog" !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Show Me The Money! Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 Sky Sports are interviewing Tinnion and Ian Atkins So Ian, says the interviewer, what is your target for the rest of the season? Ian Replies "Well I'm confident we can put a good run together and at least get into the playoffs" "And you Brian?" asks the interviewer Brian replies "Well, were going to win the Premiership, the FA Cup, League Cup and the Champions League" "Are you taking the (Am I naughty or what!)?" The interviewer asks Brian "Well he started it" Brian replies Boom Boom Its the way I type um Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
court_bcfc Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 rovers fan walking his dog, kicks an old can and out pops a genie " you have freed me" says the genie, " i will grant you anything" rovers fan says, "can you make my dog win crufts ?" Genie takes a look, dog has only 1 ear, cross eyed, matted fur and all its teeth have gone. "sorry" says the genie, "not even I can perform such a miracle" "OK" says the Gas head, "how about promotion for the rovers ?" the genie then says, "let me have another look at that dog" !!!!! ← Probably the funniest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky BCFC Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 rovers fan walking his dog, kicks an old can and out pops a genie " you have freed me" says the genie, " i will grant you anything" rovers fan says, "can you make my dog win crufts ?" Genie takes a look, dog has only 1 ear, cross eyed, matted fur and all its teeth have gone. "sorry" says the genie, "not even I can perform such a miracle" "OK" says the Gas head, "how about promotion for the rovers ?" the genie then says, "let me have another look at that dog" !!!!! ← I like the double swerve in that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman....... which one supported the Gas? None of them ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrFaustus Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman....... which one supported the Gas? None of them ! ← Not bad for a wannabe Frenchman DC. Well done Merry Christmas to you mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 Not bad for a wannabe Frenchman DC. Well done Merry Christmas to you mate. ← I thank you ....(Drum Roll & Cymbal Crash) Strange that the BCFC forum would be nothing without you Dr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WillGas Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 A City fan had some goldfish and he did not know how to feed them. So he called his gashead friend, and he showed him how. Once they were done feeding them, the city fan said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?" --------------------- What do you do if a city fan throws a pin at you? Run, because he's probably got a grenade in his mouth! --------------------- I went to the pub with a city fan the other night. I said to the barman, "Two pints of Blackthorn please." After the barman got the drinks, I asked him how much they were. He said, "Don't worry about it, these are on the house." The City fan then asked the barman. "Where do you keep your ladder?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 A City fan had some goldfish and he did not know how to feed them. So he called his gashead friend, and he showed him how. Once they were done feeding them, the city fan said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?" --------------------- The City Fan realising his mistake then declared... 'What a silly question' 'You as a gashead have overfed my goldfish and they are dead much like your clubs season' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAGILLA Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 During the 1st Gulf War, a malfunctioning Scud missile hit Twerton Park and caused £3000 worth of improvements. ____________________________________________________________________ A young man was trying to find the Memorial Stadium for his first game as a newly declared Rovers fan. He was getting rather lost so decided to ask for directions. He came across an old chap who lived locally and asked - "Where's the Rovers' ground? Someone told me it was next to a chip shop." "You're right there", said the old man, " Just walk round the corner and you'll see two queues - one very long and one very short. Don't join the long queue though." "Why's that?" asked the young Gashead. The old man replied, "That's the queue for the chip shop!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bristolbred Posted December 22, 2004 Report Share Posted December 22, 2004 Why aren't the England Football Team allowed a dog? Because they can't hold on to a lead! Quasimodo is sat in his study and once again is feeling depressed about how ugly he is. Looking for some reassurance, he goes in search of Esmerelda. When he finds her he asks her once again if he really is the ugliest man alive. Esmerelda sighs and says "Look, why don't you go upstairs and ask the magic mirror who is the ugliest man alive? The mirror will answer your question once and for all" About five minutes later a very pleased looking Quasimodo bounced back back the stairs and gave Esmerelda a great big hug. "Well it worked" Quasmido beamed, "But who on earth is Iain Dowie?" Anyway, two City fans were out fishing on the river Avon, when one says to the other, "I see Rover's have lost again!!", "Amaizing!!", say's his mate, "We havn't got a radio, so how do you know that??", "It's ten to Five!!", came the reply!!!!, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budbcfc Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 police have been alerted to a suspicious item in a vehicle parked outside the memorial ground. on a closer inspection it was found to be a tax disc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rednick_74 Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Did you hear rovers were going to be sponsered by Richard Branson... but their chairman said they couldnt have virgin on their shirts when they get ##### d every week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidernuta Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 The Rovers keeper was walking along the street one day when he heard screams from a nearby building. He looked up to see smoke billowing from a fourth-floor window and a woman leaning out holding a baby. "Help ! Help!" screamed the woman, "I need someone to catch my baby!" A crowd of onlookers had gathered, but none was confident about catching a baby dropped from such a great height. then the goalkeeper, stepped forward. "I'm a professional goalkeeper," he called to the woman. "I'm renonwned for my safe hands. Drop the baby and I will catch it. For me, it will be just like catching a ball." The woman agreed:"Ok, then. When I drop my baby, treat it as if you were catching a ball." On a count of three, the woman dropped the baby. Everyone held their breath as the goalkeeper lined himself up to catch it. There was a huge sigh of relief, followed by wild cheering as the goalkeeper caught the baby safely in his arms. Then he bounced it twice on the ground and kicked it 50 yards down the street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidernuta Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Officials of Iraq have claimed that Saddam Hussein hasn't been killed and is still alive by showing the leader giving an interview which was said to be live... He said "To prove I am still alive, Bristol Rovers were total sh**e on Saturday." The British Government said, "That could have been recorded months ago." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidernuta Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 A couple in the middle of a messy divorce case find themselves in court battling over custody of little Johnny, their only child. In order to make a fair decision over the boys future, the Judge takes Johnny into his private chambers so that he can find out which of the parents the boy would prefer to live with. "Well, Johnny" says the Judge, "Would you like to live with your Mother?" "No" replied Johnny, "she hits me all the time" "Well then," the Judge continues, "Would you like to live your Father?" "No" replied Johnny again, "He hits me all the time too!" The Judge looks exasperated and says to the boy "Well Johnny, who would you like to live with?" "I'd like to live with the Bristol Rovers Football Club" the boy replied quickly. "Why on earth would you want to live with the Bristol Rovers Football Club?" replied the now extremely puzzled Judge. "Well" replied Johnny, "They never beat anyone" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidernuta Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Q: What do you say to a Bristol Rovers supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? A: Nice tattoo. Q) What is the difference between a hedgehog and a busload of Bristol Rovers fans? A) On a hedgehog all the ######s are on the outside !! Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? A: Well, they had photos of Bristol Rovers players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. A man desperate at Bristol Rovers current situation decides to top himself.In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very lastmoment, he decides upon wearing his full Bristol Rovers kit as his last statement.A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police.On arrival, the police quickly remove the Bristol Rovers kit and dress the man instockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why. The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family." Q: What do you call a Bristol Rovers fan with lots of girlfriends? A: A Shepherd Q: What's the difference between a Bristol Rovers fan and a trampoline?A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.I was talking to the Bristol Rovers groundsman and commenting on how green and lush the grass was He replied, "it should be with all the sh#t that plays on it!!" Q: How do you kill a Bristol Rovers fan when he's drinking? A: Slam the toilet seat on his head! Q: Why do Bristol Rovers supporters have Moustaches? A: So they can look like their Mothers. Q: What do Bristol Rovers fans use as birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: Whats black and brown and looks good on a Bristol Rovers fan? A: A Rottweiler. Q: What do you call a Bristol Rovers fan with no arms and legs? A: Trustworthy. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Bristol Rovers fan? A: Skid marks in front of the dog. Q. Why do Bristol Rovers fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet? A. So they know which end to wipe! Q: What do you call a Bristol Rovers fan in a 2 bedroomed Semi? A: A burglar Q: What do you get when you offer a Bristol Rovers fan a penny for his thoughts? A: Change! Jokes For Really Crap Sides There's a rumour that Bristol Rovers have lined up a new sponsor - Tampax. The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period. An new Oxo Cube will be introduced early next year in tribute to Bristol Rovers. It will be called "Laughing Stock". The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Bristol Rovers are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!" Q. What have the Bristol Rovers and a nappy got in common? A. P*** upfront and crap at the back. A burglary was recently committed at Bristol Rovers ground and the entirecontents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a manwith a dusty carpet. A policeman caught a fan climbing the wall of the Bristol Rovers ground. He made him go back and watch the rest of the match Q. What's the difference between the Bristol Rovers keeper and a taxi driver? A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time. Q: What have Bristol Rovers and a three pin plug got in common? A: Their both useless in Europe. Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and Bristol Rovers ? A: OJ Simpson had some sort of a defence! Q: What's the difference between Bristol Rovers and a teabag? A: A tea bag stays in the cup longer!!!!! Q) What is the difference between Bristol Rovers and a lift ? A) It doesn't take a lift nine months to go down Q) What is the difference between Foot & Mouth and Bristol Rovers? A) Foot & Mouth got into Europe. Q: What is the difference between Bristol Rovers and a triangle? A: A triangle has three points. Someone asked me the other day, what time do Bristol Rovers kick off? About every ten minutes I replied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Were dreamers Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 Looks like the Schools have broken up Merry Christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galley is our king Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 A Rovers fan, very fed up, leaving the game at half time. Decides he has had enough so on the way out he nails his season ticket to the gate. Fuming still, he makes his way home. Over the weekend he frets about this, thinking about all the money it cost. On Monday morning he returns only to find that over the weekend.... .....some bugger pinched the nail !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crumbs Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 What's the best thing about the Memorial Stadium? You wipe your feet on the way out Why don't Rovers sell burgers anymore? Both their fans are vegetarians What are the only three teams with swearwprds in their name? S****horpe, Arsenal and rucking Fovers Someone ring a taxi, I'll see myself out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidered Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 TAXI FOR CRUMBS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANNY Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 Anyone know if on a rovers season ticket they just get allocated a certain breaze block? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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