cider gliders Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 Ha-Ha! Don`t know if you have heard this un! It made we laugh! A lady is giving a party for her grand daughter, and has gone all out.....caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" Other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider gliders Posted January 19, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2004 While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,....... "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat. :Hmm, yeah that's really funny Tarquin.: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider head Posted January 19, 2004 Report Share Posted January 19, 2004 ahy gliders is one of you stoney garnett by any chance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider gliders Posted January 19, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2004 Hey Cider Head! we be comedians! Stoney Garnett as a better chance of gettin` the Pope`s job than bein` a ruddy comedian! Nice bloke ole Stoney! But it`s only his hat that makes we laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider gliders Posted January 23, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 There was a lady sitting on a bench when an old man came over to sit down. He moved over to her side and said "Do you believe in the hereafter?" and she said "Yes" Then he replied, "Then you know what i'm hereafter." Ha-Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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