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The 'official' Pub Joke Thread


WTFiGO!?!

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An Indian warrior goes to the Big Chief, they exchange HOW's!!! and then he says, 'with all these Indian warriors how did you manage to think up so many names?'

'Well', the Big Chief replied; 'I named them after what I see. For him, I looked in the sky and saw 3 gliding eagles so named him Three Eagles Gliding. For him, I was looking in the stream and a fish shot by, so I called him One Fish Swimming, anyway Two Dogs *******, why do you ask?'

Have you heard what they reckon the biggest Cup upset this weekend is going to be?

Man Utd to beat Burton.

:rofl2br:

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A man has been feeling unwell so he goes to his Doctor for a general check up. After the Doc has gone through his routine the man asks the obvious question... "So Doc, what is the problem with me?" the Doc says to him, "I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, you don't have long to live." Again, the man asks the obvious question... "How long do I have then?" the Doc says "TEN", the man says "TEN? Ten what? Ten weeks? Ten days Ten..." The Doctor interupts him "NINE...."

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A man comes home from the pub grabs his wifes arse and says, if you got this butt firmer you wouldent have to where that girdle! Later in bed the rolls across to his wife pecked her gently on the cheek and fondled her breast before saying, babe if you got these breasts a bit firmer you wouldent need a bra. Wife now seriously pi***d off slides her hand under the duvet and wraps her fingers aroud the mans dick and the says honey if you could get this firmer i wouldent need the milkman gardner and your brother!! :w00t:

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