Northern Red Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Gary Neville is to be executed by lethal injection at FA Headquarters on Friday for the terrible crime of celebrating a goal scored in the last minute against his clubs biggest rivalsThe celebration has caused uproar and resulted in the death of popular and much-loved football commentator Alan Green, who spontaneously combusted live on air yesterday following the goal, and sets a bad example for children who have today be warned of the consequences of celebrating a goal.Have they nothing better to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest revkev Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Will they show the execution live on Sky Sports News?Worth the subscription just to see that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich-TWSC- Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Gary Neville is to be executed by lethal injection at FA Headquarters on Friday for the terrible crime of celebrating a goal scored in the last minute against his clubs biggest rivalsWhere's Roy Keane when he needs him/ :fencing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukejones2 Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 so, man who has supported football team for 30 years has a part to play in his team winning against their biggest rivals in the last minute and he enjoys it so much he displays that enjoyment to the opposition fans.....?sounds fine to me. Exactly what is missing from prem football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Red Posted January 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 From the Guardian: WANTED: DEAD OR MAIMEDMr Gary Neville, 30, is wanted by police in connection with a serious incident near Manchester's Trafford DevilBowl on Sunday afternoon. Neville was caught on CCTV committing the recently outlawed activity of displaying passion during a football match. His conduct was an affront to the mature sensibilities of enlightened, right-thinking persons who had endeavoured to build bridges between the cities of Manchester and Liverpool during the game by singing hymns such as: "Are you watching Georgie Best?" and "Who's that dying on the runway?" Police would also like to question Mr Neville in connection with the suspicious death of a whale in the London area.Mr Neville is of average height and appearance and is distinctive only through whispy facial bumfluff and an extremely irritating voice. He should not be approached under any circumstances, especially in tunnels in the Highbury district of London when a Mr Royston Keane is in the vicinity. When found guilty, Neville will be put in front a firing squad consisting of Djibril Cisse and a tall man resembling "Timmah!" from South Park - his prospects of survival are rated "very good".Gissagong FC defender Sir James Carragher CBE, Freeman of the Borough of Sefton, has fully endorsed the manhunt. "There is a line and Neville crossed it," opined the calm, rational figure that famously threw a coin at Highbury spectators in 2002 and held five fingers up to Man Utd supporters after the two sides drew 0-0 in September. "I've heard people say it's justified because he gets a lot of stick from the Gissagong fans, but he gets the stick because he's been doing that for years," Sir Jamie continued before possibly concluding: "Look at me when I banged in two at the wrong end for United against Liverpool in 1999: I didn't celebrate then, did I eh? Eh? Eh?"Meanwhile, FBI sources have confirmed that Hollywood star Keanu Reeves is being questioned over allegations that he has incited every single gun-related crime since filming The Matrix in 1999. But reports that a black armband-endorsed minute's silence will be held for a dead whale before Gissagong FC's next home game are as yet unconfirmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest revkev Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 From the Guardian: WANTED: DEAD OR MAIMEDMr Gary Neville, 30, is wanted by police in connection with a serious incident near Manchester's Trafford DevilBowl on Sunday afternoon. Neville was caught on CCTV committing the recently outlawed activity of displaying passion during a football match. His conduct was an affront to the mature sensibilities of enlightened, right-thinking persons who had endeavoured to build bridges between the cities of Manchester and Liverpool during the game by singing hymns such as: "Are you watching Georgie Best?" and "Who's that dying on the runway?" Police would also like to question Mr Neville in connection with the suspicious death of a whale in the London area.Mr Neville is of average height and appearance and is distinctive only through whispy facial bumfluff and an extremely irritating voice. He should not be approached under any circumstances, especially in tunnels in the Highbury district of London when a Mr Royston Keane is in the vicinity. When found guilty, Neville will be put in front a firing squad consisting of Djibril Cisse and a tall man resembling "Timmah!" from South Park - his prospects of survival are rated "very good".Gissagong FC defender Sir James Carragher CBE, Freeman of the Borough of Sefton, has fully endorsed the manhunt. "There is a line and Neville crossed it," opined the calm, rational figure that famously threw a coin at Highbury spectators in 2002 and held five fingers up to Man Utd supporters after the two sides drew 0-0 in September. "I've heard people say it's justified because he gets a lot of stick from the Gissagong fans, but he gets the stick because he's been doing that for years," Sir Jamie continued before possibly concluding: "Look at me when I banged in two at the wrong end for United against Liverpool in 1999: I didn't celebrate then, did I eh? Eh? Eh?"Meanwhile, FBI sources have confirmed that Hollywood star Keanu Reeves is being questioned over allegations that he has incited every single gun-related crime since filming The Matrix in 1999. But reports that a black armband-endorsed minute's silence will be held for a dead whale before Gissagong FC's next home game are as yet unconfirmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 I'm a little surprised people are jumping to his defence. Anybody else and I'd have said fair do's (apart from the obvious few in the obvious situation) BUT THIS IS GARY NEVILLE! I was hoping Man Utd's Club vet was going to 'put him to sleep' when he picked up his last injury.I'm sorry to admit it, but I actually enjoy disliking that man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest revkev Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 BUT THIS IS GARY NEVILLE! I was hoping Man Utd's Club vet was going to 'put him to sleep' when he picked up his last injury.That couldn't happen, David Beckham would die of a broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 That couldn't happen, David Beckham would die of a broken heartCome on David, remember its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Gary is at peace now. When you're feeling better we can go an get you another pet, what do you fancy this time, a guinnie pig? And we can always ask Alex if he'll let you have a ride on Ruud the Horse (no sexual pun intended) although you will have to say sorry for when he got angry with you first.In all seriousness though I have this horrible feeling Neville's going to end up working in football punditary. It'll be like Lawro the 2nd only about 1000 times more norsiating. All they'd need then would be to bring back Chinny as presenter and viewing figures would hit an all time low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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