How Bristolian Are You?

[madmax]

For all you Bristolians (or adopted ones!) who will appreciate it.......

1. A work colleague mentions this weekend they will be 'Watching the Gas'.

Are they:

a) Keeping a keen eye on their fuel consumption.

b) Going to the Rugby Club to suffer Bristol Rovers.

c) Trying not to fart too much.

2. Lower Clifton is:

a) A vibrant and artistic community in the shadow of the Clifton Suspension Bridge.

b) An area of Bedminster now inhabited by t##ts who can't afford to live in Clifton.

c) Bernie Clifton's legs.

3. How would you address your father?

a) Pappa?

b) Ar ole man.

c) I don't know who he is (and nor does my mother).

4. You would describe the new city centre as:

a) A marvellously modern installation of urban architecture and design.

b) poo.

c) A good place to get knocked over.

5. Banjo Island - Is it:

a) An ironically bohemian guitar shop on Gloucester Road.

b) A rough part of Cadbury Heath where the bus stops.

c) A small island in the South Pacific.

6. Bristol International Airport - Is it:

a) A great local airport that you can fly on holiday from.

b) Too windy, too far, too foggy, too expensive to park, and not in Filton.

c) For real?

7. You spot a bargain in Trade It which claims to be in Westbury-on-Trym.

Do you:

a) Grab your car keys and head out in the knowledge that everybody there is a bit posh.

b) Forget it. You know it's Southmead really. Nobody in Westbury buys Trade It.

c) Second hand? I've got a credit card and I intend to use it. Where's Argos?

8. You are sat on a bus on the centre waiting for a new driver. Do

you:

a) Wait patiently. I'm sure somebody will be along shortly.

b) Get off, because it'll be quicker to walk home to Withywood.

c) Try to hotwire it and earn some pocket money. Low bridge, where?

9. When catching a taxi from the centre to Clifton the driver goes via the M32, do you:

a) Ask if he's on all night.

b) Catch a taxi from the centre to Clifton? You lazy b*stard.

c) Snigger to yourself because you've got no money anyway.

10. When in a bar the barman offers to 'Zider you right up', do you:

a) Leave directly, mumbling something about not wanting trouble.

b) Ask "will that be forn or fatchers drive?"

c) Decline claiming to be happily married.

How did you get on???

Mostly A's - Johnny Bloody Foreigner

You have little hope in passing yourself off as Bristolian, even if you

don't speak. You have no concept of what it is like to have the history of

generations of sailors in your blood, and you probably never venture far

past Clifton Down Shopping Centre. Maybe you should move back to

Reading.

Mostly B's - Shipshape

You are a true Bristolian, despite your location of birth. You are as native

as the mud in the Avon. You probably buy the Evening Post every day, but

wonder why. It is people like you that keep this city alive. We salute you

me babber.

Mostly C's - Space Cadet

Good god, if Bristol was on Mars you'd still be miles out. But to be fair I

bet you can be entertaining after a few shandy's. Do yourself a favour and

get a clue.