mozo Posted March 6, 2006 Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 Picture this: the Labour government realise that they are losing touch with Britains voters and employ a think-tank to improve relations with 'everyday folk'. The think-tank concludes that since the OTIB forum is so influential and is essentially a haven for the greatest minds in the West (and beyond) they should let us forum users make some laws by which the people of our nation must abide.If you could invent any law or change any existent law, what would it be?My first is pretty obvious. I would make official the unwritten rule that all Gasheads must live in the sewers, a dank, putrid underworld where they are free to form their own civilisation (civilised Gasheads - imagine that!). Any other ideas of how we make this rubbish country good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest revkev Posted March 6, 2006 Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 Picture this: the Labour government realise that they are losing touch with Britains voters and employ a think-tank to improve relations with 'everyday folk'. The think-tank concludes that since the OTIB forum is so influential and is essentially a haven for the greatest minds in the West (and beyond) they should let us forum users make some laws by which the people of our nation must abide.If you could invent any law or change any existent law, what would it be?My first is pretty obvious. I would make official the unwritten rule that all Gasheads must live in the sewers, a dank, putrid underworld where they are free to form their own civilisation (civilised Gasheads - imagine that!). Any other ideas of how we make this rubbish country good?I would extend this rule to cover any team which plays in blue and white.Barrels of cider available on prescription (free to over 60's)Free public transport to all over 55's, thus getting plodding drivers off the roadThat should cover it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 I would extend this rule to cover any team which plays in blue and white.Barrels of cider available on prescription (free to over 60's)Free public transport to all over 55's, thus getting plodding drivers off the roadThat should cover it.I'll second all of those reverand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 6, 2006 Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 I reckon a national annual ''Frog Appreciation Day'' would be fairly cool. We could all dress like frogs and croak and jump around alot, generally chill out in ponds all day and go rubbit. rubbit. Even start a war with the scummy toads and that sort of thing. All those not complying round up and shot obviously. Kermit the Frog could keep the human/frog peace thing going by dressing up as a human and have to go to work and stuff.Another slightly more practical policy I'd introduce if I was old Tone would be to implement a lot more tram systems in the city's or even a massive chairlift network covering just about every main area in the city. Just a continual conveyabelt of chairs that you could access in a matter of minutes and end up anywhere in the city you needed to be.Third idea (and unwilling to debate this one I'm sorry):Cheaper Pubs.''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ...then I saw her face, now I'm a believer, not a trace, of doubt in my mind....('I'm a believer' - The Monkeys)''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I reckon a national annual ''Frog Appreciation Day'' would be fairly cool. We could all dress like frogs and croak and jump around alot, generally chill out in ponds all day and go rubbit. rubbit. Even start a war with the scummy toads and that sort of thing. All those not complying round up and shot obviously. Kermit the Frog could keep the human/frog peace thing going by dressing up as a human and have to go to work and stuff.Another slightly more practical policy I'd introduce if I was old Tone would be to implement a lot more tram systems in the city's or even a massive chairlift network covering just about every main area in the city. Just a continual conveyabelt of chairs that you could access in a matter of minutes and end up anywhere in the city you needed to be.Third idea (and unwilling to debate this one I'm sorry):Cheaper Pubs.''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ...then I saw her face, now I'm a believer, not a trace, of doubt in my mind....('I'm a believer' - The Monkeys)'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Why limit Frog Appreciation to one-day per year? How about one day per week? Every Tuesday! With the frog being a recognised icon of Englishness, we could make them our national symbol. Imagine drinking at the Three Frogs pub in Bedminster before every home game!Public transport will certainly be improved and made cheaper, funded by taxing Richard Branson 90% of his annual earnings (not to mention stripping him of any involvement in Britain's rail services).Cheaper pubs will be made so by introducing a cap on the price of alcoholic beverages. The marketing team behind Stella Artois' 'reassuringly expensive' advertising campaign are reeling with fury.Also: a 30-hour standard working week will be be introduced, allowing the unemployed unprecedented possibilities for employment. The average Briton will at first find that a shorter working week relieves them of much of the stress and fatigue of their previous schedule, but soon many men are desperate for excuses not to go shopping with the missus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I would have one law dictating that there are no laws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 Why limit Frog Appreciation to one-day per year? How about one day per week? Every Tuesday! With the frog being a recognised icon of Englishness, we could make them our national symbol. Imagine drinking at the Three Frogs pub in Bedminster before every home game!Also: a 30-hour standard working week will be be introduced, allowing the unemployed unprecedented possibilities for employment. The average Briton will at first find that a shorter working week relieves them of much of the stress and fatigue of their previous schedule, but soon many men are desperate for excuses not to go shopping with the missus.Sounds absolutely sweet mate. I think making it a weekly event though might be better put on ice for a few years as people tend to get dizzy and all anti and span out if things are changed to quickly even if the change is a blantantly good and much needed one. I also read somewhere that they used to have massive frog festivals back in the 16th century but after a tragic event due to a balls-up by the Frog authoreties they took all the fun out of it and turned it into a money making scheme and it is now completely unrecognisable from what it once was. People do protest and argue for a partial return to how it was but are often accused of looking backwards and whinging. The amount of hours worked in this country is a p155er. No wonder there are so many miserable bar-stewards who have forgetten how to have fun out there.I would have one law dictating that there are no laws.I'd go along with this in theory. I think to make it actually work you'd have to change the main aims and criteria of the education system. Instead of doing your best to quash people's spirits, stiffle individaul creativity, making people feel inadequate if they fail to understand the unwritten and official laws of schools, rejecting any attempt of independant thought and autonomy and harshly punishing non-conformists/blatant rebels who see and form conspiracies from an early age about what a load of brainwashing bu115h1t the whole thing is and making them generally angry and anachistic and instead applied an NC that was revolved around acceptance tolerance and respect for others with heavy emphasis on reasonability, responcibility and decency then and only then a society without laws might work. This may also result in a less edgy and competive society producing more justice and peace. These are probably the main two reasons preventing the change. Due to current powers and authorety being generally so arrogant, controlling and stuck in their ways, this is also unlikely to happen. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''You've got to role with it, you've got to take your time, you've got to say what you say don't let anybody get in your way, this is all to much for me to take....('Roll With It' - Oasis)'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I would have one law dictating that there are no laws.All I ask is that you humour me, but oh no that's too much to ask. Instead you confuse me with your utopian ideals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bucksred Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 free bourbon creams, and a weekly issue of Jack Daniels Now thats what I call laws Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I reckon a national annual ''Frog Appreciation Day'' would be fairly cool. We could all dress like frogs and croak and jump around alot, generally chill out in ponds all day and go rubbit. rubbit. Even start a war with the scummy toads and that sort of thing. All those not complying round up and shot obviously. Kermit the Frog could keep the human/frog peace thing going by dressing up as a human and have to go to work and stuff.Another slightly more practical policy I'd introduce if I was old Tone would be to implement a lot more tram systems in the city's or even a massive chairlift network covering just about every main area in the city. Just a continual conveyabelt of chairs that you could access in a matter of minutes and end up anywhere in the city you needed to be.Third idea (and unwilling to debate this one I'm sorry):Cheaper Pubs.''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ...then I saw her face, now I'm a believer, not a trace, of doubt in my mind....('I'm a believer' - The Monkeys)'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Hey man ..... Toads have feelings too...... I mean they are just frogs with warts, apart from the way they like to live their lives........ I mean you only have to go back to water to breed after all?Here they come....... getting squashed on the street.... they make kids go yuk as toad guts spread across every bit of tarmac they meet......... Hey hey we're the Toads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 What have I started? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 What have I started?God Knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 All I ask is that you humour me, but oh no that's too much to ask. Instead you confuse me with your utopian ideals.I only want freedom my lovely.Besides, you're beginning to worry me with all your laws. You are exhibiting distinct signs of totalitarianism.I hope you don't mean "utopian" in a derogatory sense Mozo or I'll box your ears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bucksred Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 What have I started?A cunning plan Baldrick, a cunning plan.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I only want freedom my lovely.Besides, you're beginning to worry me with all your laws. You are exhibiting distinct signs of totalitarianism.I hope you don't mean "utopian" in a derogatory sense Mozo or I'll box your ears.I can't offer you freedom, President Blair won't have it. But I can offer socialist bliss - the people make the rules. Real people with real concerns, many of which are frog-related.I'm afraid your happy lawless society is nought but crack-pipe dreams. Mr Capitalism and Mrs Democracy will see to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hey man ..... Toads have feelings too...... I mean they are just frogs with warts, apart from the way they like to live their lives........ I mean you only have to go back to water to breed after all?Here they come....... getting squashed on the street.... they make kids go yuk as toad guts spread across every bit of tarmac they meet......... Hey hey we're the ToadsNo, I warn you, don't fall for toadism, it's no good. I was once paid what I thought was good money (10p - completely exploited by an older boy I was) to eat some of those toad guts. I came down all warty and had to spend the week in bed, it was only down to advanced medical treatment that I didn't turn completely into a toad, my Mum called me an idiot and refused to feed me for a month. Since then I have been to countless meetings with the head council of Toadkind to try and talk sense into them and keeping their boys from getting splatted on pavements and having what happened to me happen to all the other weird and cretinous little children out there (there are 16 cases of this happening on the official record list to date) but they won't listen. I don't want to go to war but they've left me little choice. WAR IS UPON US!Comrades, having secret discussions daily with the toads' traditional enemy, the frogs, who are more than keen to join forces. I am assured frogs fight to the bitter end - they've got this Japanese pride, better dead than surrender kamakaze type mentality they live by. We have good allies. I've probably said too much so I'll have to sware you to secrecy, don't let me down.DO IT FOR ALL THE VULNERABLE KIDS AT DANGER OF WARTINESS, BEING CALLED AN IDIOT BY THEIR MOTHER AND NOT BEING FED FOR A MONTH DUE TO THE UNFORTUNATE DISPOSITION OF BEING WEIRD AND CRETINOUS!'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Up two three four keep it up two three four, by the ranks of single file, over every jungle mile, oh we stand and crush through the underbrush - in a military style.... ('Elephant March' - Hathy and his elephant platoon - The Jungle Book) '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 I can't offer you freedom, President Blair won't have it. But I can offer socialist bliss - the people make the rules. Real people with real concerns, many of which are frog-related.I'm afraid your happy lawless society is nought but crack-pipe dreams. Mr Capitalism and Mrs Democracy will see to that.Western Democracy was a crack-pipe dream once my friend. Mr Capitalism and Mrs Democracy: vile individuals. Of course, Mrs. Democracy is a charlatan merely masquerading as democracy. More like Mrs. Elaborate Sham - coming to polling booth near you soon!You will not offer Socialism to anyone: Bucks Red is on patrol against that nefarious ideology.Anyway, time for bed. Another day dreaming and malingering in the office beckons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Who'd be up for the introduction of an afternoon siesta like they have in some continental countries? Currently, not only do we have to endure crap whether but no afternoon kip either .''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''...everybody seems to think I'm lazy, I don't mind, I think they're crazy, running everywhere at such a speed till they find, there's no need, please don't spoil my day I'm miles away and after all - I'm only sleeping. ('I'm only sleeping' - Beatles)'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Who'd be up for the introduction of an afternoon siesta like they have in some continental countries? Currently, not only do we have to endure crap whether but no afternoon kip either .''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''...everybody seems to think I'm lazy, I don't mind, I think they're crazy, running everywhere at such a speed till they find, there's no need, please don't spoil my day I'm miles away and after all - I'm only sleeping. ('I'm only sleeping' - Beatles)''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''I'll second that notion! They all seem to live longer, and are alot let stress! I can think of nothing better than shutting up shop for a couple of hours in the afternoon! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Who'd be up for the introduction of an afternoon siesta like they have in some continental countries? Currently, not only do we have to endure crap whether but no afternoon kip either .''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''...everybody seems to think I'm lazy, I don't mind, I think they're crazy, running everywhere at such a speed till they find, there's no need, please don't spoil my day I'm miles away and after all - I'm only sleeping. ('I'm only sleeping' - Beatles)''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''So I've cut your working day down to 6 hours, and now you're telling me you need a kip half-way through?! Nothing to do with the fact that you've been drinking in those cheap pubs that we introduced is it?I suppose it's doable. A 9-5 shift could consist of three hours work, two hours chill-time, then another three hours graft. Would that suffice?In addition, the TV license is getting scrapped and I'm sure we can dicriminalise the 'erb without much fuss.I'll second that notion! They all seem to live longer, and are alot let stress! I can think of nothing better than shutting up shop for a couple of hours in the afternoon! xxxWhat alterations would you make gems? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 what a crazy world we would live in, but I'm up for it! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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