Northern Cider-Dude Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 So here's the story...Its 03:04 am on the 28th March 2006, the boom boom bang bang of the bass from the club i have just left is slowly fading away in the distance as I make my way from Deansgate Locks up to Oxford Road (We're in manchester here by the way people) to try and catch a bus so that i can get home to my dirty student digs.As i turn onto Oxford Road out of nowhere this lady just comes over to me and starts hugging me, she looked about 21 - 25 and was dressed quite smartly. She started stroking her hands down my chest and I was like WTF...who are you? But hey i was fairly intoxicated so instead of just asking her what she was doing i just started laughing.She was cracking all these lines like "oooh your so handsome" and I was honestly just cheesing myself with laughter cos i didnt have a clue who she was and why she had come up to me randomly when there was loads of other people around.Anyway next thing she's feeling my arse and this is when my senses come round and I'm like whooooaaaa dude get off me ive got a girlfriend and also who the hell are you???But she carried on and next thing her hand was creeping into my back pocket, i don't know what mental state this woman was in so i didnt want to be too harsh with her so i just laughed and took her hand out my pocket, she giggled and said "i only wanted to feel your tushie" and i was like "errrr what??" not knowing whether to roll around on the floor laughing or be generally scared of this nympho walking next to me.Still with me?? No oh wellAnyway this is the freaky part! Suddenly she just like grabs back into my pocket and takes a grab for everything in there! I grab her arm and I'm like "what the **** are you doing????"She tells me to eff off and starts to run away with my cash and card, I aint standing for that shiz so I chased her, grabbed my belongings back off her and honest to god if she was a bloke i would of punched the living shizniz out of her. She tells me to chill out she's just messing and I'm like (I tried to be abusive) you bint, then she slaps me round the chops and sprints off up Oxford Road, which is seriously like a 3 mile long straight road, i watched her for a good 2 minutes as she just kept running her fastest up the road. I mean i'm stood there and I'm just thinking to myself "what the hell has just happened?!?!?"So in conclusion it made me think.....WHAT THE **** IS UP WITH THIS WORLD!!! (Cant be bothered typing a longer one)Right you can go back to your own problems now On a lighter note - ive got tickets to see Karl Kennedy at a gig in walkabout! The guys a legend! Woohoo go me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukejones2 Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Actually, I used to work in Portland Square and a similar thing happened to a colleague. He was walking round to his car when he was propositioned by a lady of the night. He declined (had been at work all day and just wanted to get home, naturally) and she then reached into his suit jackets. He held her hand to stop it and she launched the other hand in until he was stood there, holding her hands as she kicked off and got lairy with him.He was clearly restraining this girl, wary of what needles she may have portruding from her clothing, when the girl's pimp came over.... needless to say there was a moment of panic by my mate until the pimp grabbed her and thre her away, saying "you should have just hit her".....A strange episode! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Red Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 don't how many of you shop at Tesco, but this may be useful to know.I have recently become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Tescos recently, and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works:Two fabulously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windowlene, with their tight shorts and with their knockers almost falling out of their skimpy tops it is impossible not to look. Then when you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tesco branch.You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Cider-Dude Posted March 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 but i have to admit so did I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 when i was in Ibiza a few years ago, i was walking back from a bar at about 6 in the morning, when this group of spanish lads came up to me, they rapped their arms around me, put my arms on their sholders, ie side hug, and started chatting to me while two guys checked me pockets, they got away with about 15 pence worth of Euro's because i spent all my money in the bars. t055er5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurrayLives Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Me and a few mates got chatting to a Moroccan coke-head/dealer in Spain last year on a beach (yeah I know not a great idea, but it was at like 6am after a heavy night). Every night, after we left the clubs we would go down to the beach for a sort of after-party and we found out that this guy hadn't slept for 2 weeks and basically lived on the beach.One evening I was walking towards the beach on my own and he approached me with a short Elton John lookalike gay guy and a very tall girl. He said to me that if I come with him the girl with give me her services. I turned down the offer (trust me I didn't fancie catching herpes with Elton John eyeing me up). So I walked off.The next day we left it seems that the Moraccan dude was desperate for his next hit and went on a mugging spree and targeted almost everyone on the complex - except us...lucky escape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 I was like WTFWHAT THE **** IS UP WITH THIS WORLD!!! Dude, are you fishing for a rant out of me? You'll have to do better than that I'm afraid!The only attemp at constructive comment I can offer is, if you don't know em - don't trust em and NEVER go with pished intuition.Edit: Not quite got the hang of this breaking up individual quote malarkey. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurrayLives Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 The only attemp at constructive comment I can offer is, if you don't know em - don't trust em and NEVER go with pished intuition.I rely on pished intuition Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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