Mrs Goblin's Excuses...

[Mr Mosquito]

Dirt:

Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter

against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15

and leave it alone.

Cobwebs:

Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare

from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If I

point out that the light fixtures need dusting, she simply looks confused

and exclaims "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or sometimes she just throws glitter on them & calls them early Xmas decorations)

Pet Hair:

Explains the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by

claiming she is collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play

animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in

winter)

Guests:

If unexpected company is coming, she piles everything unsightly into one room

and closes the door. As she shows our guests through her 'tidy' home,

she rattles the door knob vigorously, fakes a growl and says, "I'd love you to

see our then, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO

expensive."

Dusting:

If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the

coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter

her ashes."

General Cleaning:

Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of

water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in

conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the

couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere."

As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie

pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cakes for a

cake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works

every time.

Another favorite:

I think from Goblina - her mother, - always keep several get well cards on the

mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and

unable to clean. You figure if you can live in it, they can surely stand

it for a 30 minute visit!