Why Men Die First

[Mr Mosquito]

Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries,

but now we know: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her

from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the

housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard, there's never any time

for her; if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she

has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation; if you have a

boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind

and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is

favoritism; if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If

you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment; if you keep quiet

it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp; if you don't, you're an

insensitive *******. If you make a decision without consulting her,

you're a chauvinist; if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a

liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy,

that's domination; if she asks you, it's a favour. If you appreciate the female

form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert; if you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist; if

you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're

vain; if you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after

something; if you don't, you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your

achievements, you're full of yourself; if you aren't you're not

ambitious. If she has a headache, she's tired; if you have a headache, you don't

love her anymore.

Men die first because they want to.

[Riaz]

Quality - Could'nt agree more!