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Funny Movie Quotes


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1) Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump: (referring to Apple Computers) He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.

2) The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert

Adam/Felicia: Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!

3) Dumb and Dumber

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

4) My Best Friend's Wedding

George: It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.

5) Hope Floats

Birdee: Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.

6) Demolition Man

Edgar Friendly: I'm no leader. I do what I have to do - sometimes people come with me.

7) Ski School

Dave: If you want to be the best, you must... lose... your... mind.

8) The Truman Show

Christof: We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.

9) The Usual Suspects

Kobayashi: One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.

10) Clue

Mrs. White: Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

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list from Austin Powers Goldmember, i watched it last night, hence the qoutes. Last one is longer though, but still hillarious.

"Welcome to my new submarine layer, it's long, hard and full of seaman"

"All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch"

"Mole. Bloody mole. We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole"

Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.

(Scott Laughs)

Dr. Evil: What?

Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.

Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?

Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.

Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.

Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.

Dr. Evil: You do?

Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.

Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.

[scott resumes snickering]

Dr. Evil: What is it now?

Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole.

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From "Team America" Note the name of the character-hehe.

BAD LANGUAGE WARNING

Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an a$shole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get funked by dicks. But dicks also funk a$sholes: as$holes that just want to sh!t on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with a$sholes their way. But the only thing that can funk an a$shole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they funk too much or funk when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of sh!t that they become a$sholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from a$s holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us funk this a$shole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in sh!t!

<waits for post deletion>

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