BigTone Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken." You're having a really good go this morning, Tone, but sorry these are nowhere near Dolly's standard. You'll never surpass that baby astronaut one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted June 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 You're having a really good go this morning, Tone, but sorry these are nowhere near Dolly's standard. You'll never surpass that baby astronaut one. Ok, how about:A Ham sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Ok, how about:A Ham sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here" No, that really isn't cheesey enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted June 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 No, that really isn't cheesey enough.No, but that is !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 No, but that is !!! Agreed, it's not one of my grater ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted June 30, 2006 Report Share Posted June 30, 2006 Tone you make I larf!! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 Ok, how about:A Ham sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here"No, that really isn't cheesey enough.What if it was a cheese sandwhich that walked into the bar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 What if it was a cheese sandwhich that walked into the bar? I would assume it was a ham actor. :razz: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avonmouth Docker Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return,her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye notwrite to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understandwhat ye put yer old mum through?" The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff.... dad.... I became aprostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgraceto this family." "OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious furcoat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for$5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, thesparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outsideplus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath).... and aninvitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht inthe Riviera, and...." "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.""Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said aProtestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 I don't like to be a partay pooper but, that one did get done in a different Irish thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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