Aussie Father

[cider gliders]

We liked this un!

Aussie Father

Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves.

Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another on the way, so call back later."

At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch.

Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck."

[Guest rednick_74]

we like that un!!!

[cider gliders]

Yers another good un!

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad

news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order.

O'Malley was shocked but being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where

his son was waiting.

"Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have

cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."

After 3 or 4 pints the two were feeling a little less somber.. There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by

some of O'Malley's friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

O'Malley told them they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple of

more beers. After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and

whispered his confusion.

"Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone."

[cider head]

2 good un's there