Endangered Species

[freezer]

Unfortunately, I find it my sad duty to inform you all that a particular species of football fan has just been placed on the endangered list.

The Lesser Spotted Bluesag has officially been classed as facing extinction. Numbers have fallen drastically within a year from 40 000 to less than 5 500 at last nights gathering, this in spite of a battle with their local rivals (who had travelling numbers of over 500) The Red Swine.

Even though the Lesser Spotted Bluesag is a prolific breeder it appears that numbers are still falling rapidly, a proposed change of habitat will also herald the further demise of this once popular species.

It is thought that the upsurge in the performance and popularity of The Great Crested Redbabber has also had a significant effect. Many of The Lesser Spotted Bluesags have reported a distinctly bitter taste in the mouth, and combining this with somewhat sour tasting fruit and an anguished cry of "wun-nil" this has been linked to the drastic fall in numbers.

What can we do to help I hear you say........., I said what can we do to help I hear you say........

Nothing, we need to let nature take it's course, if a possible new breeding ground is found and the species can improve there is hope.

Unfortunately though, as the present level should support decent numbers it is thought unlikely that numbers will improve in the immediate future.

A captive breeding programme will be implemented if neccessary, if not already in place.

[Mighty Squirrel Kingdom]

Couldn't believe the attendance when I saw it this morning in A Newspaper Not Called The Bristol Evening Post.

Rubbish isn't it.

[ribsbcfc]

last spotted heading towards the conferance league

[chowie]

[ribsbcfc]

heading towards extinction me thinks

[chowie]

heading towards extinction me thinks

But according to the local media "The Evening Spotter" & "Western Daily Poacher" they are the superior breed. Will they (and their newly hatched) be tempted to fly south of the river for a stronger offering.

[Rich]

I propose a cull to rid our lands of these vermin.they hang on to the tails of their bigger cousins,are cuckoo like in the way they steal other species nest's, generally make a nuisance of themselves to the indiginious inhabitants and try to make the nest even bigger, the are in fact like a cancer of the testes ,not nice, not wanted,and hopefully treatable by surgical removal,let's make an urgent call to the consultant while we can.

[4eveREDDy]

Couldn't believe the attendance when I saw it this morning in A Newspaper Not Called The Bristol Evening Post.

Rubbish isn't it.

It all becomes very clear when you look at the very scientific survey i carried out over the last 9months, this involved spending endless hrs in north bristol watering holes gathering information from the locals while drinking copious amounts of cider/lager.It would appear that the crimson tide has spread very rapidly, almost plague like from south bristol and if this trend continues at the present rate i fear we could lose the the local native species, patheticus moronicus sagitus, however a small number do remain in the filton avenue area and these should now be treated as an endangered species, but as recent trends have shown these creatures do tend to migrate on a regular basis and i have little hope that intervention from the bristol public will save this very rare creature from extinction, i enclose a map of said area so you may avoid disturbing the few that are still present.

[ribsbcfc]

But according to the local media "The Evening Spotter" & "Western Daily Poacher" they are the superior breed. Will they (and their newly hatched) be tempted to fly south of the river for a stronger offering.

yes but i hear they cower from the call of the greater crested robin and run to the hills,cheerio ,cheerio ,cheerio

[freezer]

It all becomes very clear when you look at the very scientific survey i carried out over the last 9months, this involved spending endless hrs in north bristol watering holes gathering information from the locals while drinking copious amounts of cider/lager.It would appear that the crimson tide has spread very rapidly, almost plague like from south bristol and if this trend continues at the present rate i fear we could lose the the local native species, patheticus moronicus sagitus, however a small number do remain in the filton avenue area and these should now be treated as an endangered species, but as recent trends have shown these creatures do tend to migrate on a regular basis and i have little hope that intervention from the bristol public will save this very rare creature from extinction, i enclose a map of said area so you may avoid disturbing the few that are still present.

Sad isn't it, perhaps a protected nature reserve could be set up, after all,if we were to lose forever the Lesser Spotted Bluesag life would be less richer.

[Dollymarie]

I work with this particular species, one claims to be a very strong member of the Lesser Spotted Bluesag group, but has not ventured to watch her beloved team since the last mass exodus to Wembley.

I can put her in a cage and you could all come and look at her while there are enough around if you like.

[bh_red]

it's comical though that on there forum they seem to be having a pop at us about our lack of loyalty, because we didn't sell out at Stoke

madness

[freezer]

I work with this particular species, one claims to be a very strong member of the Lesser Spotted Bluesag group, but has not ventured to watch her beloved team since the last mass exodus to Wembley.

I can put her in a cage and you could all come and look at her while there are enough around if you like.

That's common behaviour for the species, another reason why there numbers are in such decline.

Would she survive/breed in captivity and what would you feed her on? She might not eat the normal diet that the Lesser Spotted Bluesags are seen eating at their feeding grounds on the Horfield Marshes as she doesn't journey there anymore.

Is this another reason for the decline, the change in diet of the Bluesags not attending?

[Dollymarie]

That's common behaviour for the species, another reason why there numbers are in such decline.

Would she survive/breed in captivity and what would you feed her on? She might not eat the normal diet that the Lesser Spotted Bluesags are seen eating at their feeding grounds on the Horfield Marshes as she doesn't journey there anymore.

Is this another reason for the decline, the change in diet of the Bluesags not attending?

She has sadly bred already, her offspring can often be seen in his Bluesag coat, which usually results in horrible bouts of uncontrollable itching, of which she is unable to find a cure. I have told her to buy him a better coat but she seems unwilling.

She also lives very close to Horfield Marsh, but seems unable to make the short flight to the Memorial cabbage patch.

[freezer]

it's comical though that on there forum they seem to be having a pop at us about our lack of loyalty, because we didn't sell out at Stoke

madness

Yes, I noticed this. Perhaps this strange behaviour is also linked to their fall in numbers.

They may also suffer from an as yet unknown virus that gives them delusions of being faithful, loyal and superior. Apparently, a distressing sign of this ailment - the anguished cry of 'WUN-NIL' - is often heard before a sudden disappearance.

Some also claim that a 'Dunceford' - possibly an imaginary saviour - will shortly lead the remaining few to a promised and fertile land far away, sad indeed.

[freezer]

She has sadly bred already, her offspring can often be seen in his Bluesag coat, which usually results in horrible bouts of uncontrollable itching, of which she is unable to find a cure. I have told her to buy him a better coat but she seems unwilling.

She also lives very close to Horfield Marsh, but seems unable to make the short flight to the Memorial cabbage patch.

The itching you report is unfortunately a consequence of inbreeding that has occured as a result of less numbers. Another unfortunate trait is the Tourets like grunt that emanates from some afflicted Bluesags on sighting the colour red, they will proclaim 'Sheeedhead' totally unaware of their utterance. Sad indeed.

This inability to travel even the shortest distances to the marshy feeding grounds only enforces the fear that The Lesser Spotted Bluesag is indeed struggling.

[4eveREDDy]

The itching you report is unfortunately a consequence of inbreeding that has occured as a result of less numbers. Another unfortunate trait is the Tourets like grunt that emanates from some afflicted Bluesags on sighting the colour red, they will proclaim 'Sheeedhead' totally unaware of their utterance. Sad indeed.

This inability to travel even the shortest distances to the marshy feeding grounds only enforces the fear that The Lesser Spotted Bluesag is indeed struggling.

There is a belief in some scientific circles that indeed the Lesser Spotted Bluesag (latin:patheticus moronicus sagitus) could be related to the African bullshit frog, and have to find ways to survive the weather. The African bullshit frog, for example, makes its home in dry regions of southern Africa. It becomes active and breeds during the rainy season, but when the ground dries out, it buries itself underground. It then sheds a few layers of skin that it wears like a watertight coat to keep its skin from losing too much water. This skin cocoon stays around its body while the frog rests during a period that is known as estivation (es-tih-VAY-shun). The frog remains in its cocoon until the next rainy season arrives. Interesting, when i compare the facial structure to the ones i have observed in the horfield area and the similarity to the bullshit frog i wonder if our species could indeed be waiting for a great event when they could show in numbers again, i fear it could be a long wait

[freezer]

There is a belief in some scientific circles that indeed the Lesser Spotted Bluesag (latin:patheticus moronicus sagitus) could be related to the African bullshit frog, and have to find ways to survive the weather. The African bullshit frog, for example, makes its home in dry regions of southern Africa. It becomes active and breeds during the rainy season, but when the ground dries out, it buries itself underground. It then sheds a few layers of skin that it wears like a watertight coat to keep its skin from losing too much water. This skin cocoon stays around its body while the frog rests during a period that is known as estivation (es-tih-VAY-shun). The frog remains in its cocoon until the next rainy season arrives. Interesting, when i compare the facial structure to the ones i have observed in the horfield area and the similarity to the bullshit frog i wonder if our species could indeed be waiting for a great event when they could show in numbers again, i fear it could be a long wait

Very interesting, the Bluesag/Bullshit link sounds very believable.

[4eveREDDy]

Very interesting, the Bluesag/Bullshit link sounds very believable.

The directors of the Bluesags dicuss the problem from the premier seating at the mem marshes