northsomersetred

EVER.

Anyone know who the bloke is?

Not a great fan of this type of thing on social media, but nail on the head

It's a sad indictment to today's society when a story like this makes national news headlines. Colleen Rooney is as shallow as they come, what normal wife would put up with their husband shagging prostitutes, caught drunk driving another woman's car to her place and taking another woman to his hotel room in another country and that's just what he's been caught doing. She's only stayed with him for the money and to stay in the limelight.

https://www.thecricketer.com/Topics/countycricket/jos_buttler_signs_contract_extension_at_lancashire.html

I think the umpire's wiki page sums it up nicely?

Carry me away - Concrete Blonde

Just off at a tangent Leach played club cricket for Taunton Deane yesterday.

Some sad news from Taunton Charles Clark RIP

Oh dear https://mobile.twitter.com/skillwill2002/status/1109522129832345600

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him what he did about sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree!" Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong! I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, dropped to the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and then gave her an almighty kick in the fanny. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for bees"

streams?

towel!! didn't see that one coming

Just ask HMRC about them, even they don't know!! £50m of taxpayers money lost

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and, realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?

How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

What do you think? i think he may have done it

Someone i know has posted this on FB can anyone confirm it, as i don't have sky WOW: Sky TV has ****ed up MASSIVELY on the boxing. You can watch the Fury and Klitschko fight for free on channel 872. Get It!!!!!

the only thing Fury is likely to knock out tonight his himself https://youtu.be/wdFP-R_LYSM

http://firstrows.org/boxing/wladimir-klitschko-vs-tyson-fury-frs122017?l=1838449551

Now THAT was a very interesting lunch break. Sat in the cafe in sainsburys and an impossibly beautiful young Asian woman in a slinky little white dress was sat a couple of tables over from me. When she saw me looking at her I just thought "don't get an erection, don't get an erection.." But she did.

A pair of American, Siamese twins who are joined at the hip, go to the bar and order a couple of Pints. The barman ask's them have you been on hoiliday yet? "we are going next week" one of them replies, "we are going to England" Is that because of the Culture, the Queen, the scenery and the Music scene? asked the Barman. "No, it's the only chance he gets to Drive"

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant; frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, Ma'am you had twins...... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine now however they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately - your brother came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus no, not me brother........ He's a clueless moron! Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's my daughter's name? " "Denise ," says the doctor . The new mother is somewhat relieved "Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother...... I like Denise. Then she asks, "What's the boy' name?"........ ... Denephew