Major Isewater

At least 2 more for another JET hatrick ;bring it on

Earth calling RISK77, we have a problem

how rude interrupting our forum with a JET goal

You have n't perhaps but i was n't all that impressed and the lunar beer had no taste

you must be almost as rich as Steve Lansdown,three beers , wow

They are playing right into our hands,open flowing football,We'll wait until they score a couple and then we'll strike be afraid Oldham,be very afraid

in France it's 3-0 city but this is an alternative universe !

thank you for that ,Have a beer !

someone had to go there

Does he drive a Swiss Rolls ?

This is n't Meetic ,take it outside

was thinking the same thing ,is everyone at the Gate ? Make some noise !

and you sir you're spilling is mognaficent

number 4 can be sorted just give me names on a stamped adressed envelope to The Grim Reaper, Ashton Vale weddings,christenings and Bah mitzvahs. Special discounts for groups. Why wait give me a call. A service to DIE for !

You are assuming they can read !

Do the Gas have to copy everything we do?

Desert training for the squaddies about to leave for the middle east. Sargent " ok lads ,you are in the desert and out of water,you come across an abandoned vehicule,this could save your life but how? "Jones" "Well Sir ,i'd empty the water from the radiator and drink the condensation water that is pure" "Excellent reply,Parker " "Well sir,i'd strip the seats and use the material to make a protection from the sun " "Another excellent reply,well done Parker.Kelly" "Well sir,i'd take off the door" "The door ? Why ?" "Well sir,If it got hot i could wind the window down"

Thé différence between a bad marksman and a constipated owl ; one shoots but cant hit ,the other hoots but cant shit. The différence between a short dachund and a market trader; the trader bawls his wares out on the pavement ,the other wears his balls out on the pavement

Couple fall on hard times,after much deliberation the wife décides to go on the game. The First night back she reports that she has earned 300 pounds and fifty pence. The husband a bit surprised demands "Who the flip gavé you fifty pence ? " "Oooh ,they all did " she replied

What mammal's got a **** half way up it's back? A police horse

Before their inaugural parachute jump the sergeant goes once more through the routine. "Ok lads,Line up ,when the red light changes to green you jump. Count "one thousand and one ,one thousand and two ,pull the ripcord ,look up to Check your chute is open" "If your chute fails to open ,count ,one thousand and one ,one thousand and two and pull the emergency ripcord to your right" A voice pipes up "Sarge ,what If the emergency chute does n't open " " well ,lovely boy ,If the spare does n't open ,you flap your arms and shout "geronimo" When they reach the correct altitude ,the doors open and one by one they jump. "One thousand and one ,one thousand and two..." When all have jumped they close the aircraft door. Suddenly they hear a knocking ,tap, tap,tap. Surprised they reopen the door only to find squaddie flapping his arms madly "Please Sarge ,what was the name of that ficking indian ? "