The Right Honourable Les Q

It will come as no surprise to you all that I am currently here in Joburg, in the stadium, about to be shown through to my VIP seat, for the Mandela Memorial Service. And it's pissing it down! Think the ground staff will have their work cut out. Definitely a referee pitch inspection shortly. Not sure who I will be seated next to, but should be with Dave C and all the Brits. Although, hopefully not Tony bloody Blair. Idiot. Things are a bit delayed as I speak, problems with getting all the punters in - sound familiar? Hope they didn't start a new ticketing system just for this! Will keep my eye out for Stevie L and his Botswana posse and keep you all posted...

Yes, definitely not on the Nine O' Clock news. Can confirm that, CTID. Pretty sure it was the puppets

Not so sure about that, KC. Remember, Mandela appeared on the popular television programme where you get your garden all spruced up when you're away for the weekend, and it's all a surprise when you come home! Starring Alan Titmarch, a big bloke from Essex, and a ginger bird not wearing a bra. You might have seen it before. Of course, Mandela was "away" for a bit longer than a weekend, but would you believe it (!) they still had a mad rush to get it finished on time. I think Mandela was chuffed that his absence from home was not for nothing. And not a little bit overwhelmed. At the very least, overwhelmed by the ginger bird who forgot to pack everything for the trip....

Well, they have certainly be wheeling out all the great and good today, to pay tribute. Including Lord Tebbitt, paying tribute to the Thatcher government's principled and tough stance back then - including correctly labelling Mandela a tourist, and continuing to do business with the white, minority rule Afrikaans chaps - and insisting this was instrumental in bringing peaceful change in South Africa. Well done, Norman! Still fighting! They couldn't have done it without some old white blokes in London - here, here!

I understand they didn't devote much time to talking up the opposition, or worrying about performances, or people "only seeing the negatives." Some lessons for us there, perhaps ...

Sorry.

Yes. Still much left undone on that. Wasted too much of his life, imho

Isn't this better than fretting over Steve thingymebob?

Steady on, Bill. We're trying to pay our respects here, to a reformed terrorist with poor judgement when it came to choosing shirts. A great man

What am I on about? Mike Proctor!

Myself, personally, "I've never met a nice South Afrikaan."

The club would like to announce that Mr Keith Dawe will make an official statement on this momentous loss, in a hastily arranged press conference in Keith's conservatory, at 11.30 pm. The statement will include the club's plan to hold a 27 minute silence, to mark Nelson Mandela's long imprisonment on Robin Island, at the next home game.

Mugabe was a "good" guy, who changed into a baddie. Mandela, the other way round

That was all just "a bit of singing and dancing." As one of our other great world statesmen put it, years ago. PW Botham, was it??

It is well worth remembering, that for many of those 27 years, our great leader, Dame Baroness Thatcher's Gold of Grantham, kept South Africa ticking over and bread on the table of every impoverished South African by keeping it "business as usual." A source of great encouragement and solace to the former terrorist (for which crimes, we have graciously forgiven him) as he remained locked up for so long.

He endured 27 years incarceration for his beliefs. But the wait was not in vain. He got his garden spruced up by that Alan Titmarsh and Tommy Walsh. We have now endured 33 years waiting in painful isolation. When will it end, and will the decking be painted blue when it does?? Nelson Mandala: terrorist, lawyer, leader. RIP

The job here is to succeed in spite of the challenges, not to fail because of them. To overcome the odds, not be consumed, or beaten, by them. That is football. It's stupid and illogical. But that is football. That's one big reason why they get paid many, many times over the national average wage. 2 wins in 18 (Jon L said 2 in 27 on Radio Piss, counting last season's canter to relegation) is failure. And all the signs indicate a season long struggle against another relegation. Success doesn't mean promotion, either. But it has to mean somewhere roughly halfway between that and where we are now. SOD failed to achieve this. You had to be an optimist to see things improving enough for a comfortable midtable finish this season. Our headcoach was many things, but an optimist?

As a club, we have rarely, if ever, made the most of what we've got. The facilities, resources, etc. Perhaps only 74-79, under AD. A boom time we failed to capitilise or build upon. Quite the opposite, in fact, as we know. A revamped AG will be more than adequate for us for the next 15- 20 years, to make a go of being a competitive, championship club. That must be the first goal. If we ever make the most of this, and end up outgrowing a 27, 000 capacity AG, and think, bugger, we could really do with another 5 or 6, 000 seats, and a hotel, and a McKFC, then something seriously RIGHT will have happened down there, we'll be so beside ourselves in disbelief and ecstasy, that we'll not care a hoot. Be too busy inducting another dozen legends into our hall of fame. If we ever get TOO BIG for a revamped AG, it'll be something to celebrate. Massively. Statues will be in commision, stonemasons will be smiling. Let's see if we can get anywhere near this before getting our kecks in a twist over missing out on a 21st century bowl, with all the banality that will probably entail. Just so long as the new AG's got a bit more legroom. And everyone can get in on time. What else can we fret and obsess over?

They haven't stopped darts yet, "Aize." Nor badger baiting

Okay, thanks. "Bert" only mentioned parking. Wonder what "Bert" does, or plans to do, when he parks up. Or is best not to ask?

Thanks "Bert" will use them if ever stuck for somewhere to park up that way

I think what "Bert" was trying to say there, "Es," is that there's always going to be easy parking up the Rovers, what with the lack of interest in watching their team and all that. Plenty of room. You know, if you needed to do anything around Filton/ Frenchay, wherever they're headed, then you could park at their UWE and tootle off to do what you need to. Plenty of spaces. Good of "Bert" to offer, actually

That's a lot of sluuuugs, maan. Bet Horace was off his twits, wasn't he?

Amazing what a five game unbeaten run can do for mind, body and soul, eh?! The decision about AG/ AV might be out of our hands now, but the way we think about staying at AG, our "mindset" is down to us. I'm looking forward to whatever happens. Apart from a glorious spell, remember, between 1982 and 1994, approximately, a period of unrivalled succes, this club has underperformed, big style. Try arguing with that!

No, Horace. It means excited, lively punters, with a spring in their step. And a song in their heart. And a bit more leg room (or *****le room). I think AV might mean more in the way of circus gimmicks and razamatazz. And have you told "daddy" that you borrowed his phone to twit that geoff twentytwelveman?