Lanterne Rouge

Of course. I`d forgotten they go out of their way to watch us on TV ready to indulge in furious self-abuse if we lose.

As a matter of interest how would they know what a Middlesbrough shirt looks like since they haven`t seen them in the flesh for about a generation?

They`ve probably got some all in deal where the company that make their tents use the offcuts for the kit. Saves a few quid doing it that way.

`If they play in the street we`ll watch from the pavements`

You can read me like a book. I should have known better than to try and catch you out with such an obvious attempt at fake news.

I heard that at least 15,000 others decided they couldn`t cope with the emotion and felt they couldn`t bear to attend. I`m sure it was in the Post.

Hopefully a stuffing then.

Who are the loyal and true racist horse punching boob cricketers being `welcomed` by on the first day?

Well, that`s their ready made excuse for only taking 200 up there sorted then.

If they came from the Calais Jungle though they`d feel right at home.

You have to feel for all those Dutch and Italian players that will now miss the chance of a lifetime of donning da famous quarterz. I bet they`re if they weren`t disappointed enough at not qualifying anyway they`ll be doubly gutted having to deal with that on top.

What, him or her?

Of course, I`d forgotten. I`m sure Man City are offering Kevin De Bruyne an improved contract as we speak to try to fend off the inevitable bid they will receive from Wally.

Don`t forget that Lockyer bloke is supposed to be off to PNE. Will they be able to field a side come August?

The one on the left looks like he ought to have a dog on a string and spend his days down the bearpit.

Hörður?

Yes it is. Those dwellers in the fetid swamplands of the dark north can only dream of living in the sunlit uplands of the south. I wonder if the gap has a hitherto unknown twin in the cricketing world?

Some lower league side from north of the river I think. Fairly unimportant in the great scheme of things as all these teams are.

Phew! Typical Somerset, making hard work out of something simple.

A computer shop in Henbury?

How long till stumps?

Tired bowling?

It is brave, let`s see. Get them three down by stumps and it should be OK.

Annoying that we let them put thirty on for that last wicket. The weather`s set fair so get the lead up to 450 - 500 and give ourselves 4 sessions to get them out but maybe have a little dart at them half an hour before tea tomorrow?

Do we enforce the follow-on?