cider hoss rules

I think you’ve entered the realms of fantasy now

and maybe some moderate tutting?

singupgas Club Legend Posts: 2,049 Posting Level Next Level in 951 posts 3 hours ago albaron likes this Quote Post by singupgas on 3 hours ago The lack of activity is poor, the board should be pulling out all the stops to prevent us being relegated but i dont think they care. It has been going on for too long now, if we are relegated Wael and Co better be prepared for some harsh words directed towards them. strong stuff from the north!

They don't seem to be very optimistic...... http://gaschat.co.uk/thread/13711/stay

What I meant was, their carpark was bigger than ours, not theirs had expanded in 10 years

credit where credit's due...... they seem to have a bigger car park (stand to be corrected once someone actually counts the spaces)

exactly, not much work around for a single Chuckler. To me.............. erm

And trying to justify it and revel in the glory of it is just as bad, worse probably.

'Here you are Wonga, here's the squillion pound note I told you I had to pay you back'

1 more and we'll have 0 goal difference!

I'm going to put an end to female patronisation. So don't any of you ladies worry your pretty little heads

must be a time delay, I'm pretty sure the new kit is already sorted

My wife is leaving me because because because because becaaaaaauuse.... she thinks I'm obsessed with the Wizard of Oz.

My wife said she's leaving me because I treat her like a dog. I said, "Before you go, do you mind fetching me my slippers and a paper?"

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said,” I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, “I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in colour. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, “I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

I was driving in the country when my car stalled. When I got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside me. “Your trouble is probably in the carburettor,” said the cow. Startled, I jumped back and ran down the road until I met a farmer, and I told him the story. “Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes,” I replied. “Oh! I would not listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She does not know anything about cars.”

Five doctors went to on a duck hunt: a GP, a paediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist. After a while a bird came winging overhead, the GP raised his shogun but didn’t shoot because he wasn’t sure if it was a duck or not. The paediatrician also raised his gun, but then he wasn’t sure if it was a male or female duck, so he didn’t shoot. The psychiatrist raised his gun and then thought, I know that’s a duck, but does the duck know it’s a duck?” The surgeon was the only one who shot. Boom!! He blew it away. Then he turned to the pathologist and said, “Go see if that was a duck.”

A man goes to the doctors and asks why he's been feeling ill. The doctor examines him and replies "I'm sorry to tell you, you've got the disease known as Yellow 24." "What's that?” the man asks. "It means your internal organs have started turning yellow - you've got 24 hours to live". The man goes home and tells his wife the bad news. His wife says "Well, will you come to bingo with me tonight then? Otherwise you'll never be able to." The man agrees so he and his wife go to the bingo. He finds that he's won the one-line and £10. He begins to think this isn't such a bad day after all. Twenty minutes later, he's won the full house and £150. He enters the lucky draw, worth £500, and wins that too. The bingo caller calls him up on stage. He says "I don't believe it, mate. You've won three competitions in a total of £660 in one night. You must be the luckiest man on the earth!" The man says "Well, no, I'm not. I've got Yellow 24." The bingo caller looks down at the piece of paper he's holding and starts clapping. "I don't believe it; he's won the raffle as well!"

A man walks into a doctor’s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"

what's the difference between love, true love and showing off ..... spitting, swallowing and gargling

A man & wife are in bed.He farts & shouts ''Goal.'' His wife farts & shouts ''One all.'' When the score gets to two all,the man strains so hard he craps the bed. His wife says ''What the hell was that?'' ''Half time - swap sides.''

I went to the cemetary yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I notices 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself; They've lost the plot