Thornbury Red Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Swindon vs Bristol City, Dream Final is ON! Swindon Evening Advertiser The Dream lives on! Swindon Town will be going to South Wales to face Bristol City on the 30th after all! Not only that, they WILL be playing in Division 1 next season, where they belong! Swindon fans were rejoicing today as Robins boss Andy King revealed his masterplan. The Robins hope of a big day out at Cardiffs Millenium Stadium appeared to have been dashed when Town lost on penalties to a really SPAWNY Brighton side. The cruel defeat shattered hearts just as fans were starting to celebrate a TOTALLY deserved victory. The Robins managed around 869 shots on target, with two goals and 867 shots hitting the woodwork, yet all hope wasn't lost. Not if Town manager Andy King had anything to do with it! "At first I lobbied FIFA to change the rules so that shots against the frame of the goal count as half a goal. When they rejected that I asked if they could replace posts with jumpers and coats and let us make up our minds about whether the ball was in or not. They put the phone down on me!" growled King as he sparked up a Rothmans. The dream looked like it was over, ruined by a really LUCKY team who were really RUBBISH and everything. Then came the idea of a lifetime! "On the coach going home, one of the lads mentioned to me that the league was going to be called Division 1 next season so it was like we had gone up." It may have been a joke, but it got Andy thinking. "The next evening me and the wife went to watch a film Van Helsing and I don't mind admitting it scared the ###t out of me! I was halfway out of the cinema trying to find Mummy when an usher explained to me that it wasn't real and that they were only pretending. Then it hit me, what if we pretended to play in Division 1 next season? After all, I thought that vampire bloke was going to get me, so I reckon if we use the same techniques we can get our supporters believing that we are playing Leeds and stuff!" He soon set about arranging a play-off final for next Sunday. "I know a bloke at Chippenham Town and i've got them to dress up in a job lot of Bristol City shirts." Andy explained, sucking on an evil smelling cheroot. He soon arranged a venue in South Wales. The game will kick off on Sunday 30th May at Jenner Park, home of Barry Town. "You honestly cannot tell the difference between the place and the Millenium Stadium. It's uncanny, how similar they are!" chortled Andy whilst holding a Sherlock Holmes style pipe. When King revealed his plan Swindon fans were delighted! Fans queued outside the ticket offfice for MINUTES and in one case two supporters from Hungerford ended up waiting for almost TEN minutes! "Oi thinks its a great oidea" burred F Giles as he hung around outside the County Ground, "cos loike we should have gone to Caaardiff instead of them bandits from Broighton!" After the victory on Sunday the team will hold a celebratory bus ride around Swindon on the number 51a. The bus will make several trips around the Magic Roundabout in order for the fan to get to see the whole team. Next season things will get very interesting in the Coca Cola Football Championship Division 1! "We're in the process of buying a full set of every 1st division clubs home and away shirts" crowed King, toking on a rollie, "when the away team turns up at the County Ground we simply announce them as that weeks 1st division team and get them to run out in those shirts!" A full list of the teams will be published next week but it is expected that Derby will be represented by Chesterfield with Colchester posing as Ipswich and Hartlepool as Sunderland. For away games the plot gets even thicker! Every Swindon fan will be issued with special goggles at the away turnstiles. "They're like those viewfinder things" spelt out King "each one has several shots of the stadium that team represents as well as scenes of the city and one of a little dog with a waggy tale! Hee Hee!" King giggled like a girl as he explained. So it seems that Swindon Town WILL be in the second tier of league football after all, not those SHITS from Brighton who so didn't deserve to go up! Here's to a bright future for the Robins and three huge cheers to the man who's made our dreams come true, Andy King! The Advertiser says... What a great idea from Andy King! Not only is he a tactical genius, he's also a creative talent! The Town Boss's idea has spread to the rest of the town. It was revealed today that Swindon will bid for UNESCO heritage capital status by simply covering up the buildings with ruddy big boards showing scenes of Rio, Angkor what, New York and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. What a future awaits us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elko Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 That is bloody hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedTauntonian Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS XI Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Brilliant !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wesco Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 10/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granty Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rednick_74 Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 great stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoke_Gifford_Red Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Pure genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider gliders Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Thats a classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rikku Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 That's classic - although I expect Swindon will be out for revenge when they play Brighton again in the league next season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MegaSpim Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 I didn't know that Brighton fans had the ability to be funny, but then again after putting up with a horrible stadium like theirs all season i suppose they had to develop a sense of humour! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkey Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 I see you nicked our countdown too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray White Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 hahaha Jenner park! Oh and the other bits not bad aswell. I have actually been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RedDragon Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 That has brought light to my revision filled day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest keepthefaith Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 tee hee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Pure class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolcityup Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Hmm, yeah that's really funny Tarquin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man In Black Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Got to give it to the Brighton boys, very funny. Obviously I don't condone such actions, but has anyone posted it on the Swindon board yet? (obviously would rub it in more if a Brighton fan did it... hint hint to Turkey ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbored Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Do you thinks it really true? After King had claimed the worst two teams were in the final you could believe anything of him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick_Q Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 My money's on Chippenham Town to beat Swindon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claverham_Red Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Hmm, yeah that's really funny Tarquin. That is pure class!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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