The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Well, I faced up and told Chicken-Stockhausen and the rest that my processes were sound and I won't be changing them just because of the result. I will, though, be looking at the table, or this gravy will be dripping and sploshing everywhere and make a proper mess. Dreadful to clean a white tablecloth with gravy on it, so Lady Q informs me. Yes, I told them like it is. A bit runny and could have done with another table spoon of flour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Time for a nice cuppa now, before Lady Q tackles the washing up. Thanks for your support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 I just got blitzed instead That must be an industrial catering size food-mixer then, BigTone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Thinking of dear Dolly's instant gravy in a pot, it got me wondering: SOD and Cotts-what sort of gravy will they each have this Christmas Day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Things are simmering down now. Settled for a creditable point. I'm more than happy with this seasoning so far.And the whistle goes. The heat is off, at least for now OK, OK, Les I can take a hint, I'm putting my anorak on as I type.... I thought we'd sorted out that little problem from last year, I only popped round today with a pot of goose-fat for your roasters, but no you cant let bygones be bygones can you? .... I cant keep apologising for last years incident for ever, Lady Q welcomes me with open arms still but you Les you just wont let it go, its still simmering away isn't it? Maybe its the gravy making that's brought it all back to you, I picked the wrong day, & old hurts have resurfaced I dunno, I should have waited til later when the sherry comes out you'd have been less tetchy.. oh well I'll be off then & I'll take me goose fat with me thankyou very much. Gawd Les, it really wasn't that much of a big-deal was it?.... we didn't expect you to walk in when you did & didn't think you'd be so square about a little recreational sniffing. Lady Q & I even waited til you had started stuffing the turkey, we thought you were busy, thought you were up to your neck in it before we indulged in a little private instant bisto gratification of our own... you weren't supposed to know about it Les, and it was you who wrecked the outhouse you caught us in, it was your over reaction with the twelve-bore that brought the whole thing crashing down righting it off completely, Les you were only meaning to blow the bloody doors off weren't you.. that was you fault, not ours. And to think your good lady & I were just doing a bit of innocent Nigella style Bisto snorting, Lady Q has made a full recovery after a short spell of rehab, I dunno what your bloody problem is Les... Well bye then, I'll be off now, Seasons greetings to the Q household and a Happy New Year to you & yours.. (I just wish you'd let the bisto thing go though Les, I was really hoping we could crack open a bottle ot two of Bristol Cream too, evidently not, oh well, that's that then ttfn). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse With No Name Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 ...well, it's one way of trying to ignore the fact that we conceded another late goal yesterday and remain rooted to the bottom of the table. And it'll save time on Wednesday when Lady Q and I are trying to get the big old bird out of the 'Steve Brooker' and finish the roasties. We don't want any last minute howlers orcock-ups, do we now! Making gravy from scratch has a number of tenuous links with football and setting a team up. For one, I'm hoping that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. And I got off to a flyer. I just went one-on-one with an onion, but unlike poor Sammy, I sliced the opposition open and came out on top. No tears involved there. So, I'm on top at the moment, but there's still a long way to go.. I was wondering how this was City related , then I remembered that we used to have a keeper called Adriano Bisto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welcome To The Jungle Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Just been 'cautioned' not to add flour at this late stage. Could get lumpy. A 'Booking' doesn't come much tougher than this Pulis likes lump(ing it)s in his gravy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 OK, OK, Les I can take a hint, I'm putting my anorak on as I type.... I thought we'd sorted out that little problem from last year, I only popped round today with a pot of goose-fat for your roasters, but no you cant let bygones be bygones can you? .... I cant keep apologising for last years incident for ever, Lady Q welcomes me with open arms still but you Les you just wont let it go, its still simmering away isn't it? Maybe its the gravy making that's brought it all back to you, I picked the wrong day, & old hurts have resurfaced I dunno, I should have waited til later when the sherry comes out you'd have been less tetchy.. oh well I'll be off then & I'll take me goose fat with me thankyou very much. Gawd Les, it really wasn't that much of a big-deal was it?.... we didn't expect you to walk in when you did & didn't think you'd be so square about a little recreational sniffing. Lady Q & I even waited til you had started stuffing the turkey, we thought you were busy, thought you were up to your neck in it before we indulged in a little private instant bisto gratification of our own... you weren't supposed to know about it Les, and it was you who wrecked the outhouse you caught us in, it was your over reaction with the twelve-bore that brought the whole thing crashing down righting it off completely, Les you were only meaning to blow the bloody doors off weren't you.. that was you fault, not ours. And to think your good lady & I were just doing a bit of innocent Nigella style Bisto snorting, Lady Q has made a full recovery after a short spell of rehab, I dunno what your bloody problem is Les... Well bye then, I'll be off now, Seasons greetings to the Q household and a Happy New Year to you & yours.. (I just wish you'd let the bisto thing go though Les, I was really hoping we could crack open a bottle ot two of Bristol Cream too, evidently not, oh well, that's that then ttfn). Lady Q is no Nigel Lawson, "Whiss," as I've told you before, and that is why I was making the gravy this morning. And I thought we had agreed to keep this particular incident to ourselves? Not happy, "Whistle." Actually, speaking of the scrumptious Miss Lawson, I'm currently watching some fat West Country bloke on the box cooking Chrismuss grub, but I'm afraid he's just not doing it for me at all. And putting me off me food, too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 You're different gravy your honour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Lady Q is no Nigel Lawson, "Whiss," as I've told you before, and that is why I was making the gravy this morning. And I thought we had agreed to keep this particular incident to ourselves? Not happy, "Whistle." Actually, speaking of the scrumptious Miss Lawson, I'm currently watching some fat West Country bloke on the box cooking Chrismuss grub, but I'm afraid he's just not doing it for me at all. And putting me off me food, too.... Listen Les you know as well as myself and lady Q do that a vital part of the rehab recovery treatment means no more secrets, no sweeping issues under the carpet etc... Instant Gravy Abuse & Addiction is a growing problem facing this country right now, I don't want to make a habit of denial a continuing factor of my life Les. You sat in on one or two of the therapy sessions with Lady Q & myself, you know how difficult it was for us to stand up infront of all those gravy-junkies and admit our habit, it still brings a lump to my throat to this day. That one bad batch when the dealer had cut our Bisto with bloody cornflour damn near nearly killed us both, I'm choked up just thinking of it now. Face it Les if you had not been so busy plucking & stuffing birds last year you would've noticed our problems sooner and could ptrhaps have helped rather than just blasting your outhouse away without a second thought. Your unbelievable reaction upon discovering Lady Q & myself in the act that day, the sounds of shotgun blasts ringing in our ears and debris showering down on us was the beginning of our post-traumatic stress problems, not to mention the gravy spoon that got lodged in my left nostril and needed surgical removal. Don't play the poor injured victim card again Les, your good Lady's problems are just as much down to your actions as well as our own self-inflicted ones, the last thing you should be doing right now is trying to jump onto the gravy train with us... Its a long and uncomfortable journey that only LadyQ and myself cant make, but we're getting there slowly. OK enough of that, I don't want to hold grudges, if you don't want me at Q Central Towers this year fair enough but I couldn't deprive you of your festive goose-fat, I left it at the gate-house for you mate.. enjoy yer roastie tatties. Hope your gravy is wonderful by the way Les, whatever you do don't ever fall into the evil instant gravy trap like I did, you'll think your in control for a while but it will ruin your wife, believe me I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marksy Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 We're not having turkey, I'll give my wife a good goose ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Listen Les you know as well as myself and lady Q do that a vital part of the rehab recovery treatment means no more secrets, no sweeping issues under the carpet etc... Instant Gravy Abuse & Addiction is a growing problem facing this country right now, I don't want to make a habit of denial a continuing factor of my life Les. You sat in on one or two of the therapy sessions with Lady Q & myself, you know how difficult it was for us to stand up infront of all those gravy-junkies and admit our habit, it still brings a lump to my throat to this day. That one bad batch when the dealer had cut our Bisto with bloody cornflour damn near nearly killed us both, I'm choked up just thinking of it now. Face it Les if you had not been so busy plucking & stuffing birds last year you would've noticed our problems sooner and could ptrhaps have helped rather than just blasting your outhouse away without a second thought. Your unbelievable reaction upon discovering Lady Q & myself in the act that day, the sounds of shotgun blasts ringing in our ears and debris showering down on us was the beginning of our post-traumatic stress problems, not to mention the gravy spoon that got lodged in my left nostril and needed surgical removal. Don't play the poor injured victim card again Les, your good Lady's problems are just as much down to your actions as well as our own self-inflicted ones, the last thing you should be doing right now is trying to jump onto the gravy train with us... Its a long and uncomfortable journey that only LadyQ and myself cant make, but we're getting there slowly. OK enough of that, I don't want to hold grudges, if you don't want me at Q Central Towers this year fair enough but I couldn't deprive you of your festive goose-fat, I left it at the gate-house for you mate.. enjoy yer roastie tatties. Hope your gravy is wonderful by the way Les, whatever you do don't ever fall into the evil instant gravy trap like I did, you'll think your in control for a while but it will ruin your wife, believe me I know. "Whiss," can you please stop. Lady Q is in floods of tears, she's distraught. And I won't be getting my afternoon tea with a slice of shortbread in the conservatory on time, not until she pulls herself together. Even dinner this evening is looking like being late with you blabbing everything. Think of Lady Q please; at this rate she'll still be washing and clearing up at midnight. Enough now. Oh, and I slipped on the goose fat. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 Dear Les, ..... don't be Les Miserable...those are disguised tears of laughter my dear fellow, Lady Q has already tweeted about you & your uniform fetish, she saw you slip and come a cropper, said its the funniest thing shes seen all year. Goose-stepping in Jack Boots is so 1930's though Les, catch up mate and get with it, high heeled glittery 'ballroom blitz' platforms are all the rage nowadays sweet... (I digress) ... A word of advice though Les, next time you feel like strutting your stuff infront of those full-length bathroom mirrors make sure you lock the door, Lady Q says shes caught you at it before. I must say I'm surprised & curious as to why you took the festive goose-fat into the bathroom in the first place? .. Goose-stepping & stepping in goose juice while wearing Jackboots is an accident just waiting to happen. Take care with that goose-fat in future Les I hope the bruising wont be too severe, best just use it to smear on your edible spuds in future eh?. Seasons Greetings Whiss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 'ballroom blitz'In my Industrial Catering sized food mixer !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted December 25, 2013 Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 Hope you're still stirring that gravy regularly over a low heat Lord Q? .... & don't forget to season to taste before permitting your butler fellow to push Lady Q's boat out. Merry Christmas All Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 Hope you're still stirring that gravy regularly over a low heat Lord Q? .... & don't forget to season to taste before permitting your butler fellow to push Lady Q's boat out. Merry Christmas All Thank you, "Whiss," my pre-prepared gravy is currently de-frosting. As we all know, this season is not to anyone's taste, but the gravy is a "nailed-on" home banker.... Merry Christmas to you and yours... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted December 25, 2013 Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 Lord Q - help is required. I often have a problem when making gravy as it becomes lumpy. I tried looking for a solution on the internet but a search for "Lumpy Gravy" just told me that this was a solo album (remember them?) by Frank Zappa. I'm sure there is a connection there somewhere but not sure where. Any suggestions, other than eating the gravy with a knife and fork? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted December 25, 2013 Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 get one of them big spoons with holes in and dish up mother in laws dinner first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 Lord Q - help is required. I often have a problem when making gravy as it becomes lumpy. I tried looking for a solution on the internet but a search for "Lumpy Gravy" just told me that this was a solo album (remember them?) by Frank Zappa. I'm sure there is a connection there somewhere but not sure where. Any suggestions, other than eating the gravy with a knife and fork? My advice, "Pongs," is to start again, from scratch. There's still time. Get some new ingredients in (say, about six, depending on the generosity of your benefactor, your budget), get them to gel, make them work together as a "team" as it were. Remember, the gravy is essential. The whole festive season will go down, but not a "storm" if you bodge this up. And no-one is interested in you blaming the previous gravy and the person responsible for that. You don't want a "ding-dong," "Pong," over the gravy, let me tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted December 25, 2013 Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 if you gets a bit runny,could always add a good stopper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walsh left foot Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 How is thread still existing!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted December 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 I am delighted to report that my Christmas gravy was a runaway success yesterday (it could have been a tad thicker, in other words). The late addition of turkey juices and a couple of spoonfuls of cranberry sauce sealed a much needed home win on the day. Three points for Lord Q. Over to you now, Mr Cotterill.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 congratulations sir,is that your first home success this festive season or was there any other occasions ? i am still completely winless here,largely due to the fact i was brought in but have never played Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 How is thread still existing!!!!it's still going because it's a timeless classic. I can imagine it lasting all through the year because we will need different gravy for different footballing occasions. As any connoisseur of gravy knows, a winter gravy used in the build up to a Boxing Day match, would be totally unsuitable for an April relegation fight. Similarly, the first match of the season in August would require a light summer gravy. I hope Q is up to the task of posting suitable updates as we approch important matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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