The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I can now confirm, for all Otib browsers, that Bristol Sport will shortly be making the following announcement: "Bristol Sport are delighted to announce the signing of Downend's very own snowboarding Olympic medallist, Miss Jenny Jones. Jenny is an exciting and excellent addition to our ramshackle roster of sporting superstars, and we have been particularly impressed with her ability to go downhill fast. Pear-shaped Jenny (32-34-36) signs on a 3 and a half year contract...." Just wanted to keep you all informed ahead of the media fanfare later today.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I can now confirm, for all Otib browsers, that Bristol Sport will shortly be making the following announcement: "Bristol Sport are delighted to announce the signing of Downend's very own snowboarding Olympic medallist, Miss Jenny Jones. Jenny is an exciting and excellent addition to our ramshackle roster of sporting superstars, and we have been particularly impressed with her ability to go downhill fast. Pear-shaped Jenny (32-34-36) signs on a 3 and a half year contract...." Just wanted to keep you all informed ahead of the media fanfare later today....Hon - you have an unique ability to see through all the garbage that's spouted and get to the truth. "...... ability to go downhill fast" is obviously the criteria that all recent City managers have used when signing players. This explains everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semblar Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 To be fair, ol' red trousers was looking for people to sponsor some kind of homecoming celebration. I'd be surprised if Bristol Sport didn't at least look at it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Here at BristolSport, we're all "in love with Jenny Jones, whoa" and yes, we're all "in love with gettin' stoned" too, which won't come as any great surprise to BCFC fans and Otib types. None of us, though, as far as I'm aware, drives a "Ford Cortina that just won't run without fuel." We're not bloody stupid here, let me tell you..... (We're in love with the Jenny Jones, whoa....download the new "45" from BristolSport, if you've an ear for a great old tune and nothing else on today....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murraysrightplum Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Great tune! Decent cover by Babyshambles as well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 To be fair, ol' red trousers was looking for people to sponsor some kind of homecoming celebration. I'd be surprised if Bristol Sport didn't at least look at it... No need to be fair, Sem. Yes, BristolSport have been in discussions with the mayor, and we are looking at one of his car-free Sundays to book Park Street for a Jenny Jones Homecoming/ BristolSport Day of Celebration. Here's the plan so far: All BristolSport members (that's us, BCFC, Briss rugger buggers, the basketcase team, the kiddie with the fast car and Miss Jones) gather at the top of Park St, by Jamie Olivier's gaff, for a race to the bottom of the hill, where BRFC (Wardie et al) will be waiting for us. Then the winner (or is it the loser?) plays the Rovers at tiddlywinks on College Green to decide, once and for all, just who is the biggest shower of shite in this sport forsaken town. A family fun day type thing, in other words. The mayor wanted to join in the downhill bit on his bike but we told him to piss off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Great tune! Decent cover by Babyshambles as well... More of a '77 vintage myself, Plum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 More of a '77 vintage myself, Plum. It's a Clash of interests. We are the clash "city"( not "Rovers" )rockers. ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murraysrightplum Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 More of a '77 vintage myself, Plum. Oh me too, Les. But a decent effort from the youngsters nonetheless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Oh me too, Les. But a decent effort from the youngsters nonetheless. No-one stands with their legs at 90 degrees, in drain-pipes, in a grubby London back-alley like Joe, Mick n Paul, Plum. At least, I trust Jenny Jones doesn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 It's a Clash of interests. We are the clash "city"( not "Rovers" )rockers. ! Some of us, Always. Some of us are a 'Shambles, according to the lad, Plum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
middlehitter40 Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I can now confirm, for all Otib browsers, that Bristol Sport will shortly be making the following announcement: "Bristol Sport are delighted to announce the signing of Downend's very own snowboarding Olympic medallist, Miss Jenny Jones. Jenny is an exciting and excellent addition to our ramshackle roster of sporting superstars, and we have been particularly impressed with her ability to go downhill fast. Pear-shaped Jenny (32-34-36) signs on a 3 and a half year contract...." Just wanted to keep you all informed ahead of the media fanfare later today.... TRHLQ - Congratulations on the funniest thread ever created OTIB! The irony is it has so much truth in it it's not funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Rocker Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 It's a Clash of interests. We are the clash "city"( not "Rovers" )rockers. ! Well quite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Further updates here from BristolSport, while we wait for Miss Jones to arrive for her unveiling here at the Avon Gorge hotel: BristolSport are looking for further sporting teams and individuals of excellence and outstanding underachievement, with the relevant values and skill-sets, to add to our award winning group. 1. A rugby league team. 2. A sumo wrestler. 3. A darts bloke (or bird). Plus, 4. A grid-iron team. Do those blokes still dress up like "The Fridge" and clatter aimlessly into each other at BAWa, up Southmead Road? If so, get in touch... Be with you all, with Miss Jenny Jones, very soon.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 TRHLQ - Congratulations on the funniest thread ever created OTIB! The irony is it has so much truth in it it's not funny! Not sure I follow you there, Midd. I can assure you that BristolSpot are not in the comedy industry. This is no laughing matter, let me tell you. Not while Miss Jones is this bloody late (ffs. Stockhausen is getting restless....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 For those of you getting in touch to say, what about the thwack of leather against willow (steady, BigTone, Always The...et al, we're talking cricket here), what about Glos: sorry, but Benson & Hedges winners 1977, and all the success under that Kiwi and Mark wassisname, late 90s, no chance. The board have dismissed this idea, unanimously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Once again, my apologies while we await the arrival of Olympic medal winning Miss Jones, BristolSport's new signing, to this media event here at the Avon Gorge hotel. Let's see that film of Briss struggling to rack up some bonus points against Cornish Pasties again, shall we? Here we go, "Come on Briss!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murraysrightplum Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Is she the one who landed on her face in training? She definitely would fit in with the rest of Bristol Sport... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Is she the one who landed on her face in training? She definitely would fit in with the rest of Bristol Sport... All will be revealed when she gets here, Plum. Miss, Miss....what's her first name again, is it Bridget? No, don't be daft, Les. Joe, Joey! Yes, that's her, Miss Joey Jones....with you any minute now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Cyril Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I am sure that suit she wears must chaf awfully. Just an obsevation while we are waiting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I am sure that suit she wears must chaf awfully. Just an obsevation while we are waiting. Thank you for that, Cyril. Nice one. An important point for us all to consider, but rest assured, here at BristolSports, we're sorting the wheat from the chaf. Anymore points or questions from the floor? Yes, the bloke in the corner with a pretend hedgehog.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mosquito Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 I can now confirm, for all Otib browsers, that Bristol Sport will shortly be making the following announcement: "Bristol Sport are delighted to announce the signing of Downend's very own snowboarding Olympic medallist, Miss Jenny Jones. Jenny is an exciting and excellent addition to our ramshackle roster of sporting superstars, and we have been particularly impressed with her ability to go downhill fast. Pear-shaped Jenny (32-34-36) signs on a 3 and a half year contract...." Just wanted to keep you all informed ahead of the media fanfare later today.... Why do you remind me of the last of the famous international playboys? ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjd Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 T R H L Q I have been going down hill ever since I was born so I feel I have the right qualities to take her under my wing if you know what I mean , say know more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 T R H L Q I have been going down hill ever since I was born so I feel I have the right qualities to take her under my wing if you know what I mean , say know more. Sorry to hear that, mjd, but we're about to start a big, BristolSpots media press fanfare thing now, not really the moment for your unfortunate circumstances...I'll hand you over to Dave Floyd...Dave....w.t.f is Dave now?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Miss Joey Jones, Bristol's bronzed Olympian...just making her way through the rush-hour.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son of Fred Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 To be fair, ol' red trousers was looking for people to sponsor some kind of homecoming celebration. I'd be surprised if Bristol Sport didn't at least look at it...Steak n chips followed by a decent piss-up should cover it..well done Jen!...Can't think of a better way to welcome a Brit home from a tough job well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Cyril Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 One question if I may - having been enthralled by the Luge doubles (and unsure what the bloke on the bottom offers other than ballast and awkwardness) I just wondered if consideration had been given to a new mixed doubles olympic event - the "skeleton/luge 69"? In the event it were to take off, from a tactical perspective, would miss joey jones prefer to ride on top or underneath? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 One question if I may - having been enthralled by the Luge doubles (and unsure what the bloke on the bottom offers other than ballast and awkwardness) I just wondered if consideration had been given to a new mixed doubles olympic event - the "skeleton/luge 69"? In the event it were to take off, from a tactical perspective, would miss joey jones prefer to ride on top or underneath? And would there be a gold medal for the one who comes first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Les Q Posted February 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 One question if I may - having been enthralled by the Luge doubles (and unsure what the bloke on the bottom offers other than ballast and awkwardness) I just wondered if consideration had been given to a new mixed doubles olympic event - the "skeleton/luge 69"? In the event it were to take off, from a tactical perspective, would miss joey jones prefer to ride on top or underneath? No doubt about it, Cyril, BristolSpots is at the forefront of sporting excellence and development. If the mixed doubles Luge is going to happen anywhere...oh, excuse me a moment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Thank you for that, Cyril. Nice one. An important point for us all to consider, but rest assured, here at BristolSports, we're sorting the wheat from the chaf. Anymore points or questions from the floor? Yes, the bloke in the corner with a pretend hedgehog.... Horace wishes to state that he is NOT a pretend hedgehog. For obvious reasons, hedgehogs take little interest in winter sports, happening as they do in the winter. However, he feels that after this success, Ms Jones deserves a REAL sledge rather than a tea tray. Perhaps we could arrange a whip-round? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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