Vincent Vega Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 On November 1st my Daughter gets hitched to a gashead ,she has been brought up as a red, and attended several games in her younger days. Before deciding that football was not for her .Now with half the room full of our blue friends just wondered if anyone has any ideas of what subtle jokes i could slip in my speech without causing another pitch invasion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Hope your daughter isn't arriving at church in a horst drawn carriage....that could escalate quickly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 On November 1st my Daughter gets hitched to a gashead ,she has been brought up as a red, and attended several games in her younger days. Before deciding that football was not for her .Now with half the room full of our blue friends just wondered if anyone has any ideas of what subtle jokes i could slip in my speech without causing another pitch invasion.... And you are allowing this to go ahead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeh Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 On November 1st my Daughter gets hitched to a gashead ,she has been brought up as a red, and attended several games in her younger days. Before deciding that football was not for her .Now with half the room full of our blue friends just wondered if anyone has any ideas of what subtle jokes i could slip in my speech without causing another pitch invasion.... talk about slipping through the basement door, the horse meat scandle and how they didn't "beat about the bush" How you dislike the national front because they are racist You are thinking of taking up boxing oh and you see red people every where and have video proof but can't produce it cus they have to find it theirselfs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevP Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Condolences mate...tell her to mind the gap when she steps out of the wedding car at the church..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS4 on Tour... Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 You could tell the story about how a policeman caught your son in law climbing over the wall at the Memorial Ground and told him to climb back in and watch the game.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted October 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Hope your daughter isn't arriving at church in a horst drawn carriage....that could escalate quickly! Cancelled the horse for this very reason, can't stand people harming animals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slartibartfast Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Where's the reception? Better have plod AND RSCPA, SARI on speed dial ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle Rick Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Remind any of a ethnic minority to steer clear of the blue side of the aisle, they might get verbally abused. Also worth mentioning that if anybody plays for a footy team (in goal), they need to keep it quiet as they might get a punch. In fact, it might be worth considering that anyone over 6ft may be stereotyped as a goalkeeper and get punched on assumption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 tell them they are missing a riot up whorefield,they should soon disappear and leave you in peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichaelRobartes Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 You never know, they could be in administration by November the 1st. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Make sure you tell him to have a wash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezman Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Any children must have the middle names Colin Daniel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Team In Keynsham Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 My dad was a gashead, thus it shows it is not a hereditary sickness, your grand-kids should be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Real Red Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 You could mention to any Gas Heads at the reception not to be alarmed as they are not used to crowds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welcome To The Jungle Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Just drop "all gasheads are *****". By the time they figure out they've been insulted you'll be half way home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red panda Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Make sure everything at the reception comes from Sainsburys. And Sainsburys vouchers as wedding presents .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 On November 1st my Daughter gets hitched to a gashead Then you have failed her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid in the Riot Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 In the speech refer to your son-in-law only as "that scruffy **** over there". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Ensure that no Mansfield fans sneak in. Invite Colin Daniel. Don't let the groom decide on the number of guests or 200 will turn into 2000. Ensure any horse's that attend wear crash helmets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Whats he gonna do with his bit on the side, some old slapper called Irene i believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 This is serious - she's getting married when City are playing at home. You just need to be cool and subtle - e g Nip out during the service / reception to watch the match. Invite Stoney Garnet to make a speech. Ensure all decorations are red and white and wear a red suit. Give the groom a City season ticket as a wedding present. Get a van from Vannarama to take your daughter to the church. (Much better than a Rolls-Royce) Leave plenty of Sainsburys bags lying around. etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Horse With No Name Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Make sure you use good quality tablecloths at the reception. You don't want them slipping down the table. As for the speech, just mention that you were lucky to get this function room, as it had been booked for a Conference. See how many of them get the gag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marina's Rolls Royce Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Try this speech: " I'm not so much losing a daughter as gaining a rascist bigoted horse punching loser. Now raise your glasses- it's Sainsbury's finest." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRL Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Try this speech: " I'm not so much losing a daughter as gaining a rascist bigoted horse punching loser. Now raise your glasses- it's Sainsbury's finest." That is superb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JM91 Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Daughter? What Daughter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRL Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Could mention that your daughter is experimenting in out breeding a gashead! Could be a first! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 1st Nov? But the G*s are away at Telford, they must be taking 80,000 to that one? Surely no self respecting G*shead will miss that one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbie_Turner Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 I had a Mansfield scarf which was swapped after the LDV Final with them - can't find it, otherwise you could have had it. Making your speech with it around your neck would have been perfect and not many words would be needed :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookEnd Posted October 10, 2014 Report Share Posted October 10, 2014 Wish them a long, happy and prosperous marriage, unlike Rovers stay in the football league. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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