Bristol R*vers dustbin thread

[bert tann]

30 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Peter you are forgetting the scandal of the waiters from the Four Seasons Hotel who were paid to come to Britain and pose as football club investors.

[Slack]

They need their own TV show for this season urgently...

In all seriousness, is there a minimum amount of seats a club has to have in the EFL?

[SirColinOfMansfield]

34 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Not forgetting the great Feng Shui Scam!

Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers

A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters.

Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times.

Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium.

Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0.

Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question."

Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2.

One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui.

The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being.

Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance.

The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2000/jan/20/newsstory.sport1

[Red-Robbo]

42 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

 

Excellent work, but I'd put the "Row M" fiasco, Babestation and the fake Fanta fine into the mix.

[SirColinOfMansfield]

46 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

 

Can't forget the Infamous Minibus Headbutter...

[StGeorge]

1 hour ago, Pedrowe said:

They’re actually a circus

They were until they demolished  their tents....... 

[Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan]

28 minutes ago, Red-Robbo said:

 

Excellent work, but I'd put the "Row M" fiasco, Babestation and the fake Fanta fine into the mix.

I removed Babestation from the top 10 when I remembered the open top bus tour 
 

1 hour ago, Mr Roper said:

Horse Punching 

Comes under the relegation to Non League along with the Wycombe pitch invasion the week before and their fans on Twentymans radio show 

[zippycar]

3 hours ago, Kid in the Riot said:

Not true. The backlog is much greater. Six months +

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

Edited August 3, 2023 by zippycar

[chowie]

48 minutes ago, zippycar said:

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

So you think they will have no new stand for the whole season?

[Taz]

5 hours ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Not forgetting the great Feng Shui Scam!

Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers

A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters.

Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times.

 

Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium.

Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0.

Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question."

Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2.

One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui.

The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being.

Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance.

The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2000/jan/20/newsstory.sport1

How have I not read about this before!? Gullible prats will fall for anything, no wonder Wally is so well liked.

[Monkeh]

9 hours ago, Bar BS3 said:

The fact that he seems to think that he is unique in putting his own views on his own personal social media, shows what a self obsessed bellend he his.

Does anybody else feel the need to put that as a tagine on theor own social media.?!

In hos defense, alot of people in the public eye do that, its to protect their workplace,

Doesn't stop him being a jockey of the door knob verity 

[Monkeh]

9 hours ago, phantom said:

No disabled facilities, isn't this against EFL rules?

[Bristol Rob]

6 hours ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Think you need to expand this to include the Top 20.

Not Arf.

Greetings PLOP pickers...

[INCRED]

5 hours ago, zippycar said:

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

My company had a planning application issued to BCC in February, still waiting for approval and this was just to change office entrance auto slide doors to a revolving door - I think they will be waiting a while tbh

[RedHienz]

 The entitlement is real.

Reading the 'support' comments is recommended for a laugh.

Edited August 3, 2023 by RedHienz

[cidercity1987]

10 minutes ago, RedHienz said:

 The entitlement is real.

Reading the 'support' comments is recommended for laugh.

Reads like a 15year olds first CV, throw in the biggest words you know in the first few sentences but get confused between here and hear

[cider hoss rules]

8 hours ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Fighting with players through the net?

Celebrating staying up away at Wycombe?

Singing “we’ve got our stadium “ at AG during the EFL cup game!

 

and so on, and so on……

[myol'man]

This will make an ideal South Stand at the Memorial Ground, and it will be available soon.

Remove the hull, knock out this lower decks for terracing and use the upper decks for hospitality . Jobs a good un.

[Port Said Red]

22 minutes ago, RedHienz said:

 The entitlement is real.

Reading the 'support' comments is recommended for laugh.

They keep talking about how BCFC have been allowed this and that, forgetting that a) We went through all the planning properly, with professional plans and timescales

b) If we always got our way, the club would be in a different stadium by now.

[Gazred]

36 minutes ago, RedHienz said:

 The entitlement is real.

Reading the 'support' comments is recommended for a laugh.

[petehinton]

8 hours ago, Kid in the Riot said:

For me, being a league club and failing to qualify for the League Cup will never be beaten. I assume they are the only club in the history of English football ever to achieve this incredibly embarrassing feat? 

I totally missed this, when and how?!

[Taz]

18 minutes ago, myol'man said:

This will make an ideal South Stand at the Memorial Ground, and it will be available soon.

Remove the hull, knock out this lower decks for terracing and use the upper decks for hospitality . Jobs a good un.

They'd never have it - too much red...

[Carey 6]

6 hours ago, zippycar said:

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

I could be wrong, but all of these planning applications won’t be looked at in order will they? I’d imagine one to do with a football club will get bumped up the priority list quite a bit. 

I also expect Marvin Rees will get involved at some point as well demanding things get resolved for their fans. 

Edited August 3, 2023 by Carey 6

[WarksRobin]

9 hours ago, RedRock said:

Did I hear a rumour they’ve pre-assembled some of the structure in their car/coach park? 

Even better, if so. 
 

I hope they haven’t obstructed the escape route from the rest of the stadium, resulting in more of the stadium being closed to supporters on safety grounds

[Gazred]

8 minutes ago, petehinton said:

I totally missed this, when and how?!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2002–03_Football_League_Cup

[BS3City]

34 minutes ago, TomF said:

I’ve got a trophy for that somewhere.. 

So have I.

It's currently baking, but in about an hour I could fish it out the toilet, put it in a shoebox and present it before the Barnsley game.

***** 

[Banjo Red]

9 hours ago, phantom said:

I wonder which disability group will pick this up first..... 

In the UK, venues such as sports grounds are legally obliged, under the terms of the Equality Act 2010, to ensure that people with disabilities aren't disadvantaged when it comes to accessing and enjoying their facilities

Could they get points deducted?

[Swede]

8 hours ago, Mr Roper said:

Horse Punching 

Boob Cricket

Babestation 

Fake Fanta

Windyass 9

The "disabled" stand

"These things takes time" & "tied up in confidentiality agreements" mumbo jumbo

Chasers night club entrance

[Homer Simpson]

11 minutes ago, Banjo Red said:

Could they get points deducted?

[Swede]

5 hours ago, chowie said:

So you think they will have no new stand for the whole season?

That is wonderful news. That dwindling band of buck toothed webbed feet neanderthals who turn up to watch them can look at that blank end and be constantly reminded of how tinpot they all are. Perhaps Sainsburys could advertise on that blank board.