Fao: Grebes & Ballwinningcentrehalf

[whitey_03]

Now, before i post these jokes, if you have no association with Rangers or Celtic, then many of these jokes could be lost on you, but hey they made me laugh.

Mainly these should make Grebes, and Ballwinningcentrehalf laugh

1. A young Celtic fan and his Dad were visiting Rome on holiday. Little Johnny had always wanted to meet the pope, so his Dad took him to the vatican. On arrival there were hundreds on young kids standing with Celtic tops on in a line, and right at the end, a little kid with a Rangers top on. Suddenly the Pope appeared and began walking down the line, talking to all the kids. When he was about to reach little Johnny, he walked straight past him without saying a word, and whispered something in the ear of the kid with the Rangers top on. Little Johnny was heart broken, but his Dad decided they would come back early next morning and be first in the queue, but this time little Johnny would wear a Rangers top. So next morning they turn up, little Johnny first in line, Rangers top on. The Pope appears, and sure enough, the pope goes to whisper in little Johhny's ear and says " didnt i tell you to ###### off yesterday!!"

2. There was a white guy walking down the street, and he stumbled over a lamp. He picked it up and a genie appeared and said he would grant him three wishes. Now this man wasnt the best looking and had a drink problem, so his three wishes were, 1. Have a lifetimes supply of CIDER, 2. Have a different woman for everyday of the week, who was willing to have sex with him all the time, and 3. was to have a massive cock. The genie said his wishes would be granted as soon as he got home. So he rushed home opened his front door, and rushed to his kitchen were he had a tap which run constant Cider, he was delighted. After pouring a pint, he walked upstairs and into his bedroom, where there were 365 model all standing naked, wanting to have sex, and he let out a scream of " yes ". He was now thinking, all i need his to have a bigger cock and all my wishes will have come true. Suddenly there is a knock at the door, and there is 3 members of the Klu Klux Clan standing at the door with a piece of rope. So the guy asks, can i help you, to which the head memeber of the Klu Klux Clan replies, " Yes, I hear someone here wants to be HUNG LIKE A BLACK MAN !!!

3. Three Scottish travellers get lost in the deepest jungle in the Congo. They are trying to find away out when they are captured by some natives. They are all terribly scared, and the head native stands up and said, if you can tell us which Scottish team you support, and we like them you can go free. He asks the first man, and his reply is " Rangers ", whack, off with his head. He goes to the second man, and his reply is " Hearts ", whack, his heads off to. Now the third man is bricking it, and the head native asks him, he replies " Celtic " to which the head replies, " Oh good, has our Bobo got a house yet!!!!"

4. Three young orphan mice are sitting one day in the mice orphanage, and one mouse asks the other mouse, where are you from. The first mouse replies, i was found in a field, so I guess I'm a field mouse. The first mouse says to the second mouse, so what about you, to which he replies, i was found in a house, so I guess I'm a house mouse. The third mouse is sitting looking confused, he asks the two other mice, what am i then, i was found in a chapel, am i a chapel mouse??? To which the other mice reply, " NO YOUR A MICKEY MOUSE !!" (if you dont know about Rangers & Celtic this will be lost one you )

[ballwinningcentrehalf]

[CiderEagle]

Nice one Whitey, glad to see you can retain your sense of humour even though Rangers are closer to relegation, points-wise than they are to God's own team at the top of the table

(and who's that in second place then?)