Bristol Boy Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 Did this on the Old Forum and perhaps one of you clever chaps could resurrect the old posting? Anyway, it's Xmas, here goes 1.The M6 around Stockport 2.The Police on The M6 around Stockport. 3.Tommy Dohertys Charm Teacher. 4.Call Centres a.To be ######d around..Press One. b.To speak to someone for whom English is a third, never mind second language, press Two. c.To be pi$$ed off, beyond belief, Press Three. d.To speak to Doris, with a pi$$ poor attitude, Press Four! e.To speak to Doris's supervisor, Kevin, who's been working in a garage and has the customer skills of a wheelbarrow..Press Five! f."Hello, my name is RALPH".........No it isn't matey, it's RANJIT and you're in Turkmanestan! 5.The bloke that's always in front of me doing a weeks grocery shopping, when I'm trying to pay for my FUEL in the GARAGE 6.Those bl00dy adverts with the fat bloke! You know, the ones that start....... "Have you been hit in the head by an axe at work, lately?" 7.Trevor from Tamworth, who comes on and tells you about the time he was at work, fell on his ar$e and got £4 million quid............and kept the lot! 8.The loan adverts, "where they'll lend you up to £100,000 for "anything"! Really? Try these: a.I'd like to borrow a grand, but I've got 20 CCJ's and I live in a council house. b.I'd like to borrow 25 Grand for a drugs deal! 9.I'd like to get hold of the student lonas officer at the bank, who decided that my daughter needed to borrow over her "Free Overdraft" limit. £300 at 8.5%& and another £400 at, wait for it, 25.4% . He's going in for sure, as he also gave her a Barclaycard.Just what you need with no visible means of income 10.Last, well until I think of some more, but not least, WEST MIDLANDS POLICE,for their sensitive policing of the Walsall v BCFC, game.Well, what do you expect from a former Eastern Bloc, Police Force Over to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedUn Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 10.Last, well until I think of some more, but not least, WEST MIDLANDS POLICE,for their sensitive policing of the Walsall v BCFC, game.Well, what do you expect from a former Eastern Bloc, Police Force Over to you ← 11. Satellite TV companies who dangle 75k to "persuade" clubs it's a good idea to play cup replays less than two days before much more important league matches against big rivals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Red Hat Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 12. People requesting a minutes silence at tomorrows game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screech Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 13. Tommy Doherty, Scott Murray, Jamie Smith, Kevin Amankwaah, Craig Woodman, Clayton Fortune, Steven Gillespie, Marc Goodfellow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godzilla Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 14. A-level Geography. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worthyred Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 12. People requesting a minutes silence at tomorrows game. ← Selfish people who can't spare a minute to show respect for a global tragedy, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple_monkey_dishwasher Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 People who think others aren't capable of empathy and sympathy without putting on a public display at a wholly unrelated sporting event. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedUn Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 14. A-level Geography. ← Nooo ... I loved A level Geography! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godzilla Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 Nooo ... I loved A level Geography! ← Really? Nobodies perfect, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Boy Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 A Level Philosophy grrrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potbelly Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 15. Marzipan 16. The cord that connects the handset to the rest of my phone. 17. Sarah Brightman 18. The PR dept for GT4 19. Edson 20. Anyone that works in Dunelm Mill 21. Anyone that shops in Dunelm Mill 22. Dunelm Mill 23. Any female with more than one colour in her hair 24. That ref called Mr Kettle 25. Lynda Barker 26. The ###t that phoned me up at 11.20pm, hung up after 4 rings and withheld the number 27. Anyone that runs a sub post office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fRed Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 28. Moonlit golf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paignton red Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Ian "we were robbed,we had no luck, should of been a penalty,the ref was biased,we had so many chances,he was offside,"atkins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bristol Boy Posted December 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 25. Lynda Barker "I like me and I think you'll like me too!" 26.The ###t that phoned me up at 11.20pm, hung up after 4 rings and withheld the number Same bloke rang me at 2.00am ← Here's another few: 1.Medical receptionists: "And why would you like to see the Doctor" "Er, I'm ill and, through vast experience, I've found the Butcher just can't handle that! 2.The bloke that glues Tomato Sauce Satchets for cafe's and doesn't put enough in. 3.Uncles who squeeze your knee 4.Cotton Wool in pill bottles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bristolbred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 My Ten items for Room 101 would be; 1). Everyone who think's that because you have the surname "Jones!", you must be WELSH!!, when in fact the translation of the name is from the time of Edward the Second, where if the Father had a son, and they were both called John, the son was marked down on the census as John.S., and this later became corrupted into the name Jones!!, (so now you know!!), 2). Credit Card Companies!!, especially those who have call centres in India!!, where they phone you daily telling you that you are having two months free life insurance and want you to take out policies for Life??, and won't take no for an answer!!, so you end up with something you don't want, and then spend hours writing Emails, and cancelling the policy you said NO to in the first place!!, 3). Double Glazing and Fascia Companies!!, who also won't take NO for an answer!!, and somehow get your ex-directory phone number, and when you say no, they send it to there satillite companies, so you are bombarded with cold selling over the telephone, which is suposed to be illegal!!, so you have to write to B.T. to get a block put on your line, and it's you who end's up paying for the bill!!, :@ 4). Czech and Slovak Gypsies!!, who fleeced the English Tax Payer for millions of ££££'s, claiming percicution, and then when they've got a few thousand quid, tax free in their hand's, clear off home!!, :@ 5). Budget Airlines!!!, who advertise fares from £9:99, and when you go on their website, the cheapest fare is £100 each way!!, or they email you with their seat sale, again with all these £9:99 fares, and you are lucky if they have got a fare for £75 each way!!!!, so when you add the taxes, the price of the food on their airline, etc, it works out cheaper to fly with a Scheduled carrier!!, 6). The Traffic in Bristol!!!, the lack of decent safe parking, the one way systems, Traffic Wardens and the Car Clamper's!!, :@ 7). American Foreign Policy!!, too long to go into detail here, but the Marshall Plan, lead to us losing our Aviation Industry in Bristol, as we owed Millions to America for the war effort, so Bristol's Tri-jet development was sold to Boeing, and became their 727 aircraft, making them Millions!!!, and was the death of Bristol's aircraft industry, until the "Airbus!" franchise/devlopment, so it's nice to see Airlines all over the world choosing Airbus over Boeing now!!!, 8). Alan Hanson, for saying the Czech Republic's football team was rubbish during Euro '96, and where did the Czech's get to Alan??, and with all that make up he wears when on Match of the Day, you have got to wonder about the bloke!!, 9). People who drink Carling/ Stella/ Tennants!!, and then have the cheek to call it Lager!!, :@ , Larger comes from the German for "to store!", as larger was brewed over a period of 90 days!!, not the 9 day chemically induced Fizz you see in pubs and clubs today!!, and you wonder why you get hangover's!!!, and as for that bland leomonade the Yanks call Budweiser!!, :@ , there is only one true Budweiser, "Budejovicky Budvar!", and it's brewed the traditional way, with natual ingredients, and has a better colour and taste!!, So if you are out and about in Bristol, do yourselves, and your bodies a favour, and drink the real thing, hangover free!!, 10). Anthea Turner, Ulrika Johnson, and other so called Celebrities who write damaging malicious gossip which damages the career's of those they accuse, while they do well out of it, as the so called "hurt party!", :@ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Red Hat Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Selfish people who can't spare a minute to show respect for a global tragedy, ← Difficult to 'show respect' for a tragedy. People who think others aren't capable of empathy and sympathy without putting on a public display at a wholly unrelated sporting event. ← Exactly what I would have written had I got here before you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Harry May Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 1) Shallow , celebrity obsessed society that spawns Reality TV shows such as " I am a Celebrity get me out of here ". As a society have we sunk that low ? 2)Night shift working. 3) Next doors yapping little dogs. 4)Manufactured bands - there's so many of them , it's difficult to know where to start. 5)Premier League armchair fans , who know so much about football and slate local teams ." Have you ever been to Layer Road ?" No , well **** off then. 6) Consumermas masquerading as a time of goodwill to all . It's Christmas and I have to save half the bleeding year to get through it . 7)Blind car drivers -"Sorry mate , did n't see you " They maim you , then get the same number of points on their licence as if they were doing 35 in a 30. 8)New Cardiff fans , who have suddenly gone back into the woodwork , at the thought that they may have to go to Swansea next season. 9) Parents who take childrens football too seriously . U-12s Glos League is not Champions League football. 10)Hartlepool if we do n't get a result today. Caldicot Red. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bristolbred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 9) Parents who take childrens football too seriously . U-12s Glos League is not Champions League football. ← We have the same problem in the Derby City Council Community League Under 9's!!!, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potbelly Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 - Checkout staff in supermarkets who look at you stupid when you offer the odd 35p etc. - Anyone who thinks PS3 is a good thing. - Scrappy doo. - People who ask me if i want to keep the hanger. Is it free?, of course i bloody want it. - Oliver Cromwell. - TV ads for sales. - Nissan Micras. - Bling. - Hugh Fernley-whatshisface - Any tv program with "from hell" or "100 best" in the title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potbelly Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Wives that decide to go sale shopping knowing full well that i have to leave at 1.30. and saying stupid stuff like "i should be back in time" as they leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky BCFC Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 People who think that saying "yeah-but-no-but-yeah-but-no-but" in an attempt to mock other people is original and funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newboy Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 'Tis the season to be jolly fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laaaaaaaa.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worthyred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Difficult to 'show respect' for a tragedy. Exactly what I would have written had I got here before you! ← [/quot What can you say to people like you? Can't even spare one minute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bristolbred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 People who think that saying "yeah-but-no-but-yeah-but-no-but" in an attempt to mock other people is original and funny. ← Computer say's NO!!, What can you say to people like you? Can't even spare one minute ← Where would you draw the line with these "Minute Silences!",?? You could argue that you should have one for those killed in car accidents on Somerset and Gloucestershire roads!!, Ladbrooke Grove train disaster!!, Beslan Massacre!!, etc. People will show empathy and sympathy by donating money or supplies to the many Charities who will be doing work in the affected area's, and that a minutes silence is not the way to remember those who lost their lives or loved ones in the tragedy!!, After all, if 100 Bristolians lost thier lives in a disaster, would people in all the South Asian countries stop their work, their lives for a minutes silence??, I doubt it!!, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Red Hat Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 People who think others aren't capable of empathy and sympathy without putting on a public display at a wholly unrelated sporting event. ← WORTHYred, you seem to have ignored the quote from Purple Monkey Dishwasher that I also included in my response. I should imagine that most humans feel great sympathy with the victims and all those devastated by the tsunami, but don't need to stand in silence, for any amount of time, at a football match, however, if you do, feel free to carry on but don't call on others to join you if they choose to empathise in a different manner. Unfortunately I am known as plain old 'Roger Red Hat' and not 'Worthy Roger Red Hat'. When you say 'show respect' for a tragedy, I presume you mean show respect for the victims of a tragedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worthyred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 WORTHYred, you seem to have ignored the quote from Purple Monkey Dishwasher that I also included in my response. I should imagine that most humans feel great sympathy with the victims and all those devastated by the tsunami, but don't need to stand in silence, for any amount of time, at a football match, however, if you do, feel free to carry on but don't call on others to join you if they choose to empathise in a different manner. Unfortunately I am known as plain old 'Roger Red Hat' and not 'Worthy Roger Red Hat'. When you say 'show respect' for a tragedy, I presume you mean show respect for the victims of a tragedy. ← [/quot Of course I mean the victims, I have not called on anyone to stand for a minutes silence get your facts right. I responded to your ludicrous post which basically lambasts people for asking for a minutes silence (which contrary to your assertion I have never done)I simply cannot understand the mentality of anyone who would object to a minutes silence for a tragedy which has claimed 59000+ lives, unfortunately the attitude of both yourself and Purplemonkey reflects that of many people today who cannot even consider giving up one minute to show some respect. Your attitude would be wholly different if one of your family members was a victim, would you object then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worthyred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Computer say's NO!!, Where would you draw the line with these "Minute Silences!",?? You could argue that you should have one for those killed in car accidents on Somerset and Gloucestershire roads!!, Ladbrooke Grove train disaster!!, Beslan Massacre!!, etc. People will show empathy and sympathy by donating money or supplies to the many Charities who will be doing work in the affected area's, and that a minutes silence is not the way to remember those who lost their lives or loved ones in the tragedy!!, After all, if 100 Bristolians lost thier lives in a disaster, would people in all the South Asian countries stop their work, their lives for a minutes silence??, I doubt it!!, ← I don't think you can equate car accidents in Somerset and Gloucester or 100 Bristolians with 59000+, some of whom were holiday makers from various countries, including Britain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Red Hat Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 I fully understand you cannot understand my mentality. Unfortunately the attitude of yourself, and many people today, where grief or emotion has to be 'worn on one's sleeve' seems to be coming more and more the norm but many people don't wish to be 'forced'(which they undoubtedly would be by others around them,such as yourself with your inability to understand) into a public display of grief, solidarity, call it what you will. The amount of time, be it 1 minute,20 minutes, 2 days is irrelevent. My attitude would be no different if one of my family members was a victim, I would know that any decent human being sympathised with my situation. Anyway, how can you expect me to understand when I'm selfish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worthyred Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 I fully understand you cannot understand my mentality. Unfortunately the attitude of yourself, and many people today, where grief or emotion has to be 'worn on one's sleeve' seems to be coming more and more the norm but many people don't wish to be 'forced'(which they undoubtedly would be by others around them,such as yourself with your inability to understand) into a public display of grief, solidarity, call it what you will. The amount of time, be it 1 minute,20 minutes, 2 days is irrelevent. My attitude would be no different if one of my family members was a victim, I would know that any decent human being sympathised with my situation. Anyway, how can you expect me to understand when I'm selfish? ← How very true unfortunately people like you never will have the decency to show respect. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, far from it, If you cannot see the significance of 59000 deaths, as you clearly can't, then what hope is there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky BCFC Posted December 28, 2004 Report Share Posted December 28, 2004 Why does every fun thread on this forum end up turning into a crappy politically correct debate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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