Forgive Me Revkev..

[Sir Colby-Tit]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

[BigTone]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

Good luck Sir Colby, this is one mother of a sin. Don't like your chances of forgiveness. Hope you like your steak well charred in future.

[Roger Red Hat]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

For your sake, I hope you had your collar up, the brim of your hat down and your shades on.

[nester]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

Isn't this the unforgivable sin??

Be prepared to be cast into outer darkness.

[deadratinmycider]

I think you should be publicly flogged as half time entertainment

at the next home game.

[Sir Colby-Tit]

For your sake, I hope you had your collar up, the brim of your hat down and your shades on.

I didn't have time to disguise myself (bit hard with a handlebar moustache!). I did however come up with a cunning plan.....I hid the offending literature in a copy of "Beastiality Monthly", therefore avoiding TOTAL embarrasment.

[Roger Red Hat]

I think you should be publicly flogged as half time entertainment

at the next home game.

Who'd buy him?

[deadratinmycider]

I didn't have time to disguise myself (bit hard with a handlebar moustache!). I did however come up with a cunning plan.....I hid the offending literature in a copy of "Beastiality Monthly", therefore avoiding TOTAL embarrasment.

That's ok then, mind you, I thought the centre fold this month was a right dog.

[Nibor]

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Surely this was a simple one to deal with.

"Sorry love, I can't buy your dad that. They don't sell it any more, something about it being removed due to false advertising? I got him a nice neck brace instead to wear at the games, that ok?"

I'm not sure the reverend will make your pennance an easy one.

[deadratinmycider]

Who'd buy him?

Gary Johnson.

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Who'd buy him?

I do "tricks"

[Dan C]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

That is very unforgivable. Contributing money to them is the ultimate sin(unless we're playing them at the mem)

I'm sure buying Rovers things is one of the commandments "Thou shalt purchase Bristol Rovers Goodies, Be it for yourself or for others, Giving here is the ultimate sin"

[RedTop]

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Not so much a book as a thin and flimsy pamphlet, presumably.

[Roger Red Hat]

I do "tricks"

Oo-er, mrs.

[WTFiGO!?!]

Not the first of your transgressions either Is it Sir Holby-Tit.........a Sag'ead father in law .

I wouldn't want to swap places with you when it come's to entering the Pearly Gate's, I suspect only the loss of the tache will be enough now to bamboozle the bouncer's St.Peter and St.paul enough to let you in and save your soul from eternity in hell.

[RED4LIFE]

That's ok then, mind you, I thought the centre fold this month was a right dog.

Very quick my son. I also heard she was a bit RUFF

[KevinC]

REVKEV replies:

This is not an unforgivable sin. You did this foul act to please your beloved lady, which means that while it was a bad thing, it was done for the best of intentions.

You also bought it for another person, who is the REAL sinner here. He's the one who should repent.

By the way, I am reliably informed that the pages of said pamphlet are made from soft absorbent tissue and have perforated edges near the spine, thus making them very useful for another, more suitable purpose

[Sir Colby-Tit]

REVKEV replies:

This is not an unforgivable sin. You did this foul act to please your beloved lady, which means that while it was a bad thing, it was done for the best of intentions.

You also bought it for another person, who is the REAL sinner here. He's the one who should repent.

By the way, I am reliably informed that the pages of said pamphlet are made from soft absorbent tissue and have perforated edges near the spine, thus making them very useful for another, more suitable purpose

Thank you your Holiness - I will sleep soundly tonight :Sleep12: :Sleep12: :Sleep12:

[deadratinmycider]

REVKEV replies:

This is not an unforgivable sin. You did this foul act to please your beloved lady, which means that while it was a bad thing, it was done for the best of intentions.

You also bought it for another person, who is the REAL sinner here. He's the one who should repent.

By the way, I am reliably informed that the pages of said pamphlet are made from soft absorbent tissue and have perforated edges near the spine, thus making them very useful for another, more suitable purpose

What about his purchase of beastiality monthly? Is that a sin Rev?

[Maesknoll Red]

Not so much a book as a thin and flimsy pamphlet, presumably.

I would have assumed a word or two on the back of a fag packet.................

[KevinC]

What about his purchase of beastiality monthly? Is that a sin Rev?

No, he was getting it for Dr F

[KevinC]

Anyone else want to bare their soul? The confessional is now open

[RED4LIFE]

Anyone else want to bare their soul? The confessional is now open

I live with a Rovers fan and a Tottenham fan, and I still like them and consider them friends.

Will I go to hell?

[deadratinmycider]

I live with a Rovers fan and a Tottenham fan, and I still like them and consider them friends.

Will I go to hell?

Don't need to be a man of the cloth to know that the answer is yes, definitely.

[KevinC]

No of course not.... even Jesus associated with tax gatherers and other sinners. Show them the true light

[mozo]

No of course not.... even Jesus associated with tax gatherers and other sinners. Show them the true light

Forgive me father for I have sinned...I was intimate with a long-necked animal. God doesn't mind does he?

[MurrayLives]

Forgive me father for I have sinned...I was intimate with a long-necked animal. God doesn't mind does he?

I wouldn't worry Noah was seen 'Rocking the boat' all the time. I'm not suprised, he was doing them two by two.

[mozo]

I wouldn't worry Noah was seen 'Rocking the boat' all the time. I'm not suprised, he was doing them two by two.

It was people like Noah that gave beastiality a bad name. Before his big wooden brothel was erected, man and beast were free to express their sensuality in any way they saw fit...

...Forgive me RevKev for I again have sinned (might be a long night for you pal) - I referred to a biblical character in an offensive and wanton manner. I s'pose God must be gettin kinda peeved with me by now?

[Guest DrFaustus]

I think you should be publicly flogged as half time entertainment

at the next home game.

May I ask what is wrong with being publicly flogged. I often I know lots of people into such practices.

[Dorset_Cider]

I was sent on an errand by Lady Colby-Tit this afternoon to buy her dad a birthday present. Nothing sinister there you may think, but you would be wrong.

The gift in question was a copy of "Bristol Rovers Greats"

Now if I had refused, I would have been subjected to the cold-shoulder treatment for God knows how long (oops sorry again rev )

So, I went and bought it in Waterstones (funnily enough it's not very thick & they had loads left). Even the bloke serving looked disgusted and threw it into a bag and slammed it on the counter in front of me.

Please forgive me forumites , I feel dirty and ashamed.

Revkev - please tell me how I can repent.

You can't ........ you are damned......... The Reverend Dorset_Cider