rayer Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 My mate at half time was basically dieing for a pee, but after seeing the queues for the Dolman toilets which were huge, he knew that he would pee himself before it was his turn. So he goes outside the stadium and see a bus/lorry with loads of piss marks up against a wall by it. He does the biz, then upon returning a female steward refuses him entry back into the ground because of what he did. He asks her to point out which 'pool' is his for proof so she calls 2 male stewards who grab my mate by both arms, and escort him off the premises and they stand there waiting for him to disappear. ( Hes 42 years old, father of 2 family type of guy !!) Couldnt stop laffing when he told me as he felt he was in a lose lose situation. Morale of this story, if you by a bottle of coke, keep the empty bottle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garlicbread Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Morale of this story, if you by a bottle of coke, keep the empty bottle. Especially when Cardiff are in town! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 It is technically an offence. Was watching one of them cop programmes the other night and they gave this bloke who peed in a shop doorway on his way home from the pub an on the spot 60 quid fine. Its something along the lines of antisocial behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haster Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 It is technically an offence. Was watching one of them cop programmes the other night and they gave this bloke who peed in a shop doorway on his way home from the pub an on the spot 60 quid fine. Its something along the lines of antisocial behaviour. Break into someones car though is a slap on the wrist!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolman Block B Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 It is technically an offence. Was watching one of them cop programmes the other night and they gave this bloke who peed in a shop doorway on his way home from the pub an on the spot 60 quid fine. Its something along the lines of antisocial behaviour. So if your getting fuel quite late at night, a mini bus rushs in, a young lass jumps out, quickly whips her skirt up, down with her tiny,s, coupie,s down, and gushes for about 3 min,s, the song and laughter from the bus is crazy as Arn is paying for his fuel, WHAT SORT SENTENCE SHOULD SHE END UP WITH? It happened, honest, only last weekend. Laughed me head off,but still got sleepless nights with nightmares Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargent Pepper Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Your taking the piss ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hey I wasnt knocking the bloke, gawd knows ive done it meself after a night on the lash, I just tend to find a bench to sit down on first! The stewards were probably told to lob him out cos the carpark has CCTV, and he would have been seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolman Block B Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Your taking the piss ? Sarg. Truth mate. Was over so quick. But i swear if it had of been a fellow, eventually he would got knicked. Because it was a female, ALL enjoyed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Colby-Tit Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Another argument for the return of terracing, at least you could pee in the blokes pocket in front of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petehinton Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 someone write to mr lansdown the new stadium needs more toilets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorset_Cider Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 My mate at half time was basically dieing for a pee, but after seeing the queues for the Dolman toilets which were huge, he knew that he would pee himself before it was his turn. So he goes outside the stadium and see a bus/lorry with loads of piss marks up against a wall by it. He does the biz, then upon returning a female steward refuses him entry back into the ground because of what he did. He asks her to point out which 'pool' is his for proof so she calls 2 male stewards who grab my mate by both arms, and escort him off the premises and they stand there waiting for him to disappear. ( Hes 42 years old, father of 2 family type of guy !!) Couldnt stop laffing when he told me as he felt he was in a lose lose situation. Morale of this story, if you by a bottle of coke, keep the empty bottle. Such is..... the call of nature is difficult to ignore............ but it really should have been a case of wait ? This is a strange post........... standards have to be upheld? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garlicbread Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hey I wasnt knocking the bloke, gawd knows ive done it meself after a night on the lash, I just tend to find a bench to sit down on first! The stewards were probably told to lob him out cos the carpark has CCTV, and he would have been seen. You piss on benches? Now I'm intruigued! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshire_red Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 I once spent a night in a Military Police Cell much of which I was being questioned by a Senior Military Police Officer and an Inspector from Special Branch. My only crime was taking a piss in a deserted car park around midnight. I kid you not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fat Controller Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 I once spent a night in a Military Police Cell much of which I was being questioned by a Senior Military Police Officer and an Inspector from Special Branch. My only crime was taking a piss in a deserted car park around midnight. I kid you not. your only crime was being bloody caught mate, shameful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cider head Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 It may be an offence on the public highway but if outside the ground i don't see what it has got to do with the club or stewards to refuse entry to the ground? mabe a copper could have him for it but i don't think he broke ground regulations for a steward to get involved, he should have pretended to be pregnant :noexpression: Weird British laws These laws are apparently still valid in the British legal today, having not been repealed since they became obsolete. I do not guarantee their truth. However, they may be of some use to some hitchhiker somewhere: Being caught short: According to British law, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants. But most importantly, she can, upon request pee in a Policeman's helmet. It is also totally legal to urinate upon the rear inside wheel of any vehicle (this apparently dates back to the days when it was considered the norm to pee on your neighbours cart. Taxi drivers: British taxi drivers must, by law carry a shovel and a bale of hay in the back of their hackney cab. (Again, dates back to when they all drove horses and carriages. Christmas: It is illegal to celebrate Christmas, it must be treated solely as a religious festival, although no-one is likely to prosecute nowadays as the last conviction was in the puritan days of Cromwell. Policemen: Any question a policeman asks you, you may apparently ask it back. So the correct response to "What is your name?" is; "No, what's your name?". http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A42869 Here are some laws that you may have heard about, or may not have ? If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter. It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. Or if a male shouts in pain before releasing, or if a pregnant female requests the use of a policeman's helmet to urinate in. All English males over the age of 14 are to carry out 2 hours of Longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. No boy under the age of 12 may see a naked shop mannequin. No one is allowed to die in Parliament. Well except the Queen. Westminster is a royal palace and anyone dying in a royal palace is eligible for a state funeral. So to avoid a costly funeral, if anyone does die, his or her body is removed before the death certificate is issued. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store. In Bristol lovers are not allowed to kick a dog out of bed as apparently a dog – but not a cat - has the right to be a voyeur. London taxi drivers are supposed to ask passengers if they are suffering from smallpox or the plague, since carrying sufferers is illegal. A law introduced in 1307 ensures that the head of any dead whale found on the British coast becomes the property of the king and the tail belongs to the queen - should she need the bones for her corset. It is illegal to wear armour in the Houses of Parliament It is still an offence to beat or shake any carpet rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District, although you are allowed to shake a doormat before 8am. And finally, possibly the silliest of them all: it is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises ie. in a pub or bar. Throughout the whole of England it is illegal to eat mince pies on the 25th of December. In Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight whereas in Hereford you can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close. In London you are considered a freeman if you can drive your geese down Cheapside and to be hanged with silk rope (as opposed to plain old hemp). I believe there is also a law about only members of worshipful companies are allowed to drive their flock of sheep across tower bridge or something. In York upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays. And in Scotland... It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow. Trespassing on someone else's land is legal. You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Hitler Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 You piss on benches? Now I'm intruigued! Never sit on a bench in Bristol unless there's been recent heavy rain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiderEagle Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Wouldn't he have been OK if he'd drawn a chalk circle or something ? He could even have asked a nearby policeman to hold his coat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robins72 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I saw a girl once having a no2 outside the At Bristol Building!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolman Block B Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hey I wasnt knocking the bloke, gawd knows ive done it meself after a night on the lash, I just tend to find a bench to sit down on first! The stewards were probably told to lob him out cos the carpark has CCTV, and he would have been seen. Any chance of naming the bench.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolman Block B Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I saw a girl once having a no2 outside the At Bristol Building!!! You are kidding me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BITW Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 What stand does your mate sit in? I'm in Dolman and I aint even allowed out the ground at half time. That used to be how i pi55ed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Any chance of naming the bench.... It was in Nailsea a good few years ago. When you gotta go you gotta go, and it was nothing to do with the copious amounts of vodka I had consumed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiderEagle Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I weed myself in the theatre once, when I was a student. Wasn't even p*ssed, it was just that the play was getting to the final climatic scene and I really wanted to know how it ended. The pain became too much to bear in the end and I just though, sod it, the jeans will soak it up. They didn't. This was in Sheffield in winter. It was a long, cold walk home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mosquito Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I once spent a night in a Military Police Cell much of which I was being questioned by a Senior Military Police Officer and an Inspector from Special Branch. My only crime was taking a piss in a deserted car park around midnight. I kid you not. cheshire_red, they probably thought you were a spy. You probably interfered with their rendevous point and they were questioning you with regard to national security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingswood Village Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Tis one of those embarressing things that most people do, but not many people end up getting fined or ejected etc. Personally, I actually had to go to Southampton magistrates court after a 1 PC and 1 WPC walked by as both me and my mate were answering the call of duty down a side street, after a very heavy night when at uni down there. Probably would have got let off were it not for my mate who is a gobby Essex lad who starts spouting "**** me havent you pigs got anything better to do, you make me ###### sick etc etc". £20 fine plus £20 court costs makes that a very expensive piss and there wasnt even any free aftershave or a lolly pop. CTID Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greyfriars red Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 'In Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight whereas in Hereford you can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mosquito Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hereford you can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close. I've been at the boot end of the Hereford West Mercia Gestapo Police - they are corrupt scum. Make a byelaw for Hereford where the Hereford Police can be shot on any day except Sunday. Thanks to Floridared of the ziderheads forum for finding this little video gem. ........... This bloke must have wanted to go to Jail real bad!!..... Clickety click...... http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=...iss_on_cops.flv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robins72 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 You are kidding me? No tis the truth. The thing that annoyed me most was that there were loads of pubs nearby with toilets that were free!! Some people have no shame! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Always Ashton Red Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Are you sure it wasnt you robins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robins72 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Are you sure it wasnt you robins No the only time Ive weed outside a loo was when I was a youngster and that was a motorway stop in a bush!! Wouldnt wee anywhere else. Even held on for 12 hours on a boat once as there were so many people puking from sea sickness I didnt want to be sick myself!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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