Esmond Million's Bung

I think it is perfectly obvious now that the gas can only win games played on the rotovated allotment that they call home.

28 minutes ago, DANWRENBCFC4LIFE said:

It means along with your owner, chairman, manager, coaches, players and most of your paltry attendance you are a total bullshitter.

The gas have announced that they are releasing a film called 'The life of Wally', like everything else about the gas it's a complete rip off of some obscure Monty Python film whose name escapes me, but some of it has already leaked on to the inter web accidentally leaked by a complete bullshitter who has told the world that he repairs computers and sometimes at a very holy place called Ashton Gate.

Picture the scene Wally is being carried down Gloucester Road and he drops a gourd (the gourd was representative of a trophy but the gas had sold all of theirs) and then one of his shoes falls off.

Henbury Gas: Hail Messiah!

Wally: I'm not the Messiah!

Henbury Gas: I say You are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

FOLLOWERS: Hail Messiah!

Wally: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!

Miah: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

Wally: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

FOLLOWERS: He is! He is the Messiah!

Wally: Now, **** off!

Henbury Gas: How shall we **** off lord

Wally: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.

Wally: glances at his really nice watch, reclaims his Ipad from Henbury Gas who had been repairing it after it had crashed during the sermon on Hanham Mount, where Wally had preached to the multitudes with at least 2 million locked out and he produced his latest miracle of turning fine wine into piss and thought to him himself 'thank **** Chelsea are home tonight and i've got a season ticket".

Wally: Where the **** is Dwane?.

2 hours ago, Miah Dennehy said:

Don't worry, once we have our new stadium/modified stadium/bigger tents I will be back, then you will al be sorry you took the piss

How are things going south of the river btw, is LJ a little more popular these days?

I would say about as popular as DC with 2 caveats, 1. As popular as DC over his past 2 matches. 2. The popularity obviously has to be calculated percentage wise because as LJ succinctly pointed out the blue few only account for one third of Bristol's football fans these days.

You're welcome, have a nice day.

Sheff United are a very well coached side and so are we of course, but they lost their heads when they were all over us.

Our strength is our resilience, the way that we don't concede too many when we are under the cosh and that always gives us a chance and tonight we did not play well but we gave ourselves that chance and took it when it came and that's all anybody can ask of their team.

I have never seen Joe Bryan give the ball away so much in one game.

Where was Bryan? and Baker wasn't even in the same postcode as Clarke.

I see that the pikey's pitch that apparently cost thousands to re lay plus the extra drainage was a big hit with the Rotherham boss, it looks as though they have once more turned back the clock and realised that their best chance of winning games is to turn the pitch into a ploughed field just like when the real owners the rugby club used to play there.

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/rotherham-united-boss-paul-warne-869146

18 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

Ref Esmond Million's match markings above.

I would give Eliasson an 8 solely for his tackle on Christie to snuff out another marauding run late in the game by probably the best right back in this league. For someone who our Swedish colleagues said couldn't defend, he's learning fast.

It's the little things like this which are making it such a good season so far.

it's something that Reid, Patterson, ODowda and Brownhill have had to learn as well and they are certainly improving with that part of their all round game, just occasionally all of them try to be too clever in dangerous areas, if they any of them have aspirations to play at an even higher level then it is most certainly a requirement these days.

All of the above are gifted and talented individuals and It is wonderful when those little flashes of genius come off but sometimes costly when they don't, there is a time and a place for genius.

As I said they are all improving in that area of their game in fact all of the above have improved and are still improving since day one of this season.

9 hours ago, PHILINFRANCE said:

? You have totally lost me there.

?Me too Phil.

1 minute ago, cityexile said:

Agree wth most of that, but was thinking Bryan was much closer to his best. Gave him an 8, and LJ a 9.

On reflection maybe a 7 for Bryan (amended), as I said I don't think he is fully fit and several times in the 2nd half him and Magnússon were hopelessly caught out both on the halfway line.

We were superb at times tonight and only a ridiculous own goal by Magnússon, made it a little bit tricky in the final 15 minutes. 

Middlesborough deserved sweet **** all out of this game.

The referee was lenient at times especially towards Traore.

Fielding 7 did what he had to do as usual.

Wright 7 a few mistakes, but generally ok, but what a cross for our first goal.

Flint 8 superb once more his part for the 2nd goal was incredible.

Baker 7 confident throughout.

Magnússon 6 up until the own goal was playing OK, but what was he thinking?.

Patterson 6 really took his goal well but not quite up to speed yet.

Brownhill 7 played well throughout.

Smith 9 MOM again, people who believe he is a weak link know nothing about football.

Pack 8 solid and disciplined throughout.

Bryan 7 took his goal oh so well, but i’m not sure he is fully fit.

Reid 7 his first touch tonight was superb at times and a constant thorn in their side.

Djuric 8 I thought he was great tonight for his 15 minutes of fame, won most things in the air, held it up well and actually looked good with the ball at feet.

Elliason & Leko not on long enough.

LJ 9 Tactics spot on, subs were about right maybe Eliasson could have been brought on earlier Patterson was tiring.

I  thought it was great the complimentary things that the commentator and pundits said about us tonight, we should fear nobody in this league.

I think we have been the better team, the referee has been very lenient several times in their favour.

Magnússon is playing ok, but stands off of his man too much and gives him too much time and space at times.

Patterson should have at least hit the target with his chance, but we look solid.

Well let's hope the midfield and defence remember that Djuric is on the bench tonight and don't revert to our recent home plan B of launching long balls.

But I do fancy us tonight.

And it gets better another piece of gashead click bait that tells their adoring fans sweet **** all and answers even less, the bloke is full of shit.

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/bristol-rovers-president-wael-al-867366

To be fair to the BristolPost the facebook headline for this story carried this tag line.

'Apparently' it is actually going to happen...

Hot off of the press, just got to love the post and the gas.

Going to start at the end of the season............................well actually minor alterations.

I wonder if the gullible fools will swallow this latest pile of camel shit?.

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/bristol-rovers-chief-confirms-memorial-867389

After watching that cringeworthy interview ITV announce a new spin off to be hosted by the Chuckle brothers.

'I've been ****** over by a fake Sheik bullshitter get me out of here'.

Of course it will be have to be a very cut price version and will not be in the Australian rain forest, but at the gas's own leper colony at Almondsbury.

“I suppose I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third.”

“When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? My answer’s always the same, to me, they’re not mutually exclusive.”

“You will never work in a place like this again. It’s brilliant. Fact. And you’ll never have another boss like me, someone who’s basically a chilled-out entertainer.”

“I actually like my staff to be better than me. That keeps me on my toes. So my motto would be ‘Be careful because there’s always somebody ready to step into your shoes and do your job better than you do it.'”
 

“I can wake up one morning and go, ‘I don’t feel like working today. Can I stay in bed?’ ‘You’d better ask the boss.’ ‘David, can I stay in bed?’ ‘Yes, David.’ Both me. Not me in bed with another bloke called David.”
 

“If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain. Do you know which ‘philosopher’ said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she’s just a pair of tits.”
 

Just now, Red Army 75 said:

Apparently they were going to do a car boot the next day . 

Yep all for the January surrender chest.

8 minutes ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

Despite admitting he will be trying to offload some players in January, Clarke could not fault his squad for their attitude following another defeat last time out.

"The lads are fantastic," he beamed.

"They're a great group to work for. I can't fault them for it, even the Blackburn management team came into the office and said "We've watched the match back on video and your lads gave absolutely everything but don't you think it's about time you headed back home? I mean we've hung around and watched the entire 'kin game, not just the highlights, yet you're still here. We're waiting to lock up the ground ffs."

"oh yes and the police are waiting outside so perhaps before you load the kit basket on to your coach you can give us all of our silverware, cutlery, toilet paper, soap, tea cups, corner flags, training cones, footballs, hi vis jackets and the groundsman's dog back please".

4 minutes ago, Septic Peg said:

Dopey has 3 lists: Waitrose, Aldi and Poundland.

He gives all 3 to the board and they choose off those.

Expect to see poundland employees on the pitch from Jan in new cost cutting measure. You heard it here first.

Sorry breaking news Poundland does not fall within their budget, they have opted for another skip search in the hope that they can find another Swampy Sinclair.

This is classic Dopey speak in tonight's post.

However Rovers did release five players at the end of the previous campaign and then strengthened with eight new first team signings.

Let's hope that January brings even more 'strengthening' from Mr Clarke.